THE BATTLE BELONGS TO GOD

Recently I was just thinking about our previous home, Rio Vista (RV) unit number. It was pointing to Psalms 23:5. You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. Pastor’s sermon last week was a replay from Jan 2016. It was about possessing our possessions. How the battle belongs to the Lord. Pastor was saying we fight by feeding on God’s word and not fighting. That is why the Lord prepares a table for us in the presence of our enemies. 

“Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.“ — 1 Timothy 6:12 NKJV. We fight “the good fight of faith” — The word “good” is the Hebrew word “kalos,” which means “beautiful” or “handsome.” The fight of faith is beautiful because in the end, we win. The only fight for us to fight is the good fight of faith.

 

On hindsight I realised why God gave us this unit number when we bought our RV condo in 2010. There was a fight of faith to be fought and the Lord was teaching us to fight by feeding on His word. Indeed the warfare and assaults had been very fierce and relentless but in the end we still win. I recalled how the giants started appearing in Nov 2015, like a prelude to 2016, the year of possessing our inheritance. 

 

2016 was a year that we saw giants coming out from the woodwork like never before. Honestly if not for His grace, I wouldn’t have made it through. The assaults back then were on my life. The enemy threatened to take my life unless I gave up on this promise. He was that blatant. At that time Pastor was talking about our light afflictions achieving an eternal glory. I totally had no idea what he was talking about. 

 

The nature of our flesh is to be inclined to the visible and palpable, that which our five senses can observe. However, God lives in the invisible realm. “For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen.” — 2 Corinthians 4:17–18 NKJV

 

Pastor said this. This temporal difficulty you’re facing now is working for you a far more exceeding and eternal, permanent weight of glory! The word “glory” is the word “kavod” in the Hebrew, which means “heavy.” At the end of your trial, you will see yourself coming out of it with an added weightiness or influence. Your presence and words will carry weight. Now on hindsight I could see what God was doing. 

 

It was only at the end of this trial that I see myself coming out with added weightiness and influence. My presence and words now carry weight. But in the midst of the trial it made no sense as to why I was being assaulted so fiercely. I couldn’t see past the next day. I was glad to have even survived! Well, surviving wasn’t God’s best for us. Thriving is. And I also had to learn how to rest in the midst of the battle. 

 

Even though the promise has not yet come, I can tell God, “Lord, I thank You that I can be at rest because You are fighting this battle.” Hebrews 4:11 was impressed upon me in the early years of my stay home season. I couldn’t fully comprehend why God told me to labour to enter into His rest. Many times, I feel like the battle is mine to fight, but it is the Lord’s. He is still saying to me today, “Don’t touch it! The battle is mine.”

 

Then I also thought about our current house unit number. 03-05. I looked up Strong’s concordance and saw this meaning in Hebrew. It says ‘my wish is that’. The Greek meaning is to go up, ascend, come up higher. Put together it means: My wish is to go up higher. Wasn’t this what the Lord had been doing in my life since we shifted here? Bringing me into a higher place. Coming up higher to see His perspective. I had come full circle higher level. Gone up higher in the paths of His righteousness.

 

I was also wondering which verse would correspond to 305 and then I saw Psalms 30:5. It says weeping may endure a night but joy comes in the morning. Wow! There was a season I held on to this verse dearly. God kept telling me that my sorrow will be turned into joy one day. I would not be camping in this valley of Baca (tears) but only passing through. Indeed when we left RV and shifted here, God began turning my sorrows into joy. 

 

No wonder God said I had to move away from RV. Though it started out as a haven, after a while that place was associated with too much failures and disappointments. I badly needed a change in environment. I needed a new beginning. I had to forget and put behind these things of my past in order to move forward into my future. There is always hope in the new things. When we shifted, the cycle of disappointments was broken off. 

 

God is so good. He had totally erased all traces of my past, things that could cause me to remember my sorrows. He made me forget the troubles in my past season when He brought me to this new home. Now the memories of my past are becoming very faint. With so many changes in my life for the past two years, I hardly could remember the pain and sorrow I went through in those years. God replaced those pain with so much joy. 

 

So the narrative was this. During those years of fighting, I had to continually feast on the word of God. It was really my lifeline back then, especially in 2016. Though things started to turn around from 2018, I still struggled with certain recurring issues. God began His process of healing my soul wounds from 2018 but the process was only complete this year. But once we shifted over here, God really brought me to a higher level. 

 

Connecting to my tribe last Sep was a major milestone as well because it was only with these like-minded believers that I could hone my prophetic anointing. These people really made a big difference in my life. I don’t take them for granted. It was partly because of them that I could come up higher. In 2020, the Lord brought me to an even higher level in terms of hearing from Him and boldly declaring His word. Especially in the area of vision and dream interpretation. And also my sensing of people and situations. 

 

Even Heng said that ever since we shifted here, I became more joyful and much less affected over the issue that used to plague me. There was clearly a shift like in Psalms 30:5. I had been crying so much in the previous night season but joy always comes in the morning. I really thank God for all the changes and the new things in my life since we shifted here. I had prayed for those changes and they came. And these are good changes. 

 

I experienced how the Lord slowly restored joy back to my life. There was a time I was caught in this heaviness, this dark cloud over me. My mind was oppressed by all the warfare and I had so many battle wounds. God took me out and nursed me back to health. He also strengthened me and put me back in the battle field. When I got back there I was no longer fearful of the attacks. I knew the enemy had lost. We had the final victory.

 

As my eyes focused on the Lord and His word, I began to see how we can rejoice even in the midst of adverse circumstances because as intense and overwhelming they might seem, it was only temporal. This too shall pass and yes many things had passed. Only God’s word endures. God always has the last say. And He saves the best for the last too. Well, this year I learnt about true freedom, peace and joy in the midst of difficulties in the world. 

 

During the lockdown when our freedom was restricted, God opened my eyes to see what real freedom was about. Freedom from the control of our flesh. Freedom from our emotions and feelings. Freedom from reacting when the enemy pressed that button. This freedom can only be found in Christ. Then I also learnt what true peace was about. It wasn’t dependent on our circumstances but it was an abiding peace in what God has said and resting on His faithfulness because if He said it, He would do it. 

 

And joy, oh joy! It used to be so elusive. I remembered having to read up books on how to be happy at one time. I just couldn’t find joy and pleasure during those tough times. I only knew what pain was like. But God is so good. He said He would repay me more joy than the pain and sufferings I endured. And He really did! He blessed me so much that I couldn’t help but be joyful. But then again true joy isn’t found in just His blessings. True joy comes from a deeper intimacy with Him, knowing how much He loves me and how precious I am to Him!

JOURNEY OF 13 YEARS FINALLY OVER!

This morning as I woke up, I was meditating on the journey of Abraham. Last night I was reminded of the resemblance of my own faith journey with Abraham’s. Those memories were triggered because of a post I had read yesterday. I wasn’t much in a reflective mode recently because I was all raring to move forward. I could not wait to see what the new season holds. 

 

But I felt that God seemed to be telling me not to rush this process, for it hadn’t been just a year or two that passed. It was an entire chunk of 13 years of my life, with the past decade spent in preparation at home. I really didn’t expect to embark on such a journey in Jan 2008 when I sought the Lord for the next season of my life. 

 

On 18 Jan 2021, it would be exactly 13 years since God told me to trust Him for what He was doing in my next season when I last sought His will. God told me that it was a faith test for me. I didn’t know I was about to enter a long season of wilderness after God led me out of Egypt (my old workplace). But thank God that I have passed the faith test. An entire chunk of my life had been completed. 

 

At that time I was just hoping to hear from the Lord when I could leave my company and stay home to take care of Joshua. It had been my heart’s desire to be able to stay home. Well even though I knew that returning to work was only temporal after I gave birth, I still had to be patient and wait upon His timing to leave. Only if He gave the green light to resign. 

 

I so very much wanted to jump on an opportunity to resign in Oct 2008. There was a door to part time work that had opened. But after I sought the Lord, I decided it wasn’t a good time to leave yet. I had unfinished business in that place. So I had to stay on and cooperate with God on whatever He wished to accomplish in that place.

 

And the days became months and years. I ended up staying there for another 3 more years before God led me out. Later on I understood the reason why God had me stay on. He wanted to do a restorative work before He took me out of corporate world. He had to cause me to leave with my head lifted up. He had to drown those enemies in the Red Sea.

 

Towards the end of that season, things heated up and I almost lost my bearing during the shaking in my workplace. But thank God I kept focusing on Jesus and cooperating with Him. That was how God caused me to conquer and stay afloat when the others were all sinking. It was like going through the fire. But thank God the tough times didn’t linger. 

 

When God did what He wanted, He wasted no time to move me out of that place. It came to a point when I didn’t think that I was going to leave that place because my new season had begun there. After all it seemed like I was stuck there indefinitely. What I thought was temporal actually lasted for three years. I didn’t expect it to take so long. 

 

But God is faithful. He is really not a man who changes His mind. When His plan for that season was completed, He really moved me out. I was glad to have cooperated with Him when I saw how I left that place in honour. The enemies I saw in that season, I saw no more. It was on hindsight that I realised what mattered most wasn’t the length of time taken for His word to come to pass. What was more important was to close each chapter well. 

 

In that way, the enemies of my past couldn’t come and haunt me in the new season. Because they were all drowned in the Red Sea. During that time, my enemy was the taunting of my defeat in another company, how I left that place in shame. But God restored my honour and lifted me up. It was a glorious finish to my corporate life. After all I really wasn’t sure if I was ever going back to the workforce. 

 

At the start of my stay-home season, it felt like days of heaven on earth. I was finally living my dream life. Staying in a beautiful condo environment, not having to work yet still receiving passive income. I was not only able to spend more time with Joshua, I could spend unhindered fellowship with the Lord. This was really a luxury. I couldn’t be more grateful to Him for His wonderful plan.

 

But as the days turned into months and years, with no sight of a promise God gave me in Feb 2008, I began to get restless. Honestly I really had no idea when this promise would manifest. I also didn’t know what God was doing in my life. How long I would remain at home and whether I would go back to the corporate world. Or whether there would be a change in my vocation. My life was so dependent on the doors God opened for me. 

 

Back then I was just so happy to jump into the stay home season without much thoughts about my future or even our finances. I figured out that since God has called me to stay home, then He would provide for our family. In fact, just like Abraham during his sojourning, God prospered us a lot. He caused Heng to rise up to the top in his career. He prospered us along the journey with Him, not knowing where He was leading us to. 

 

In many ways our lives mirrored Abraham’s. Even in the area of relationships, there was much strife at the start when I was still very much attached to my mum’s family. I had a lot of trouble with my ‘Lot’ until I had no choice but to separate ourselves from them. After that I had some peace in my life. But the emotional ties with my mum’s family were only cut off last year. It took many years for God to do that. 

 

Even my ministry was similar to Abraham. I was praying and interceding for others, helping them out in their times of trouble even while waiting for my own breakthrough. We are blessed to be a blessing. God justified Abraham even when he lied about Sarah being his sister twice and protected her from being violated. Abraham also prayed for King Abimelech’s household to have children while Sarah was still barren. 

 

But now I am impressed upon the time In Genesis 17 when the three angels visited Abraham to bring good news of the arrival of Isaac. Before that God told Abraham to circumcise his household. Ishmael was 13 years old at that time. It reminded me of the time when God told Joshua to consecrate His people for tomorrow God is going to perform miracles. It was a time of consecration for Abraham before the promised child came. 

 

In Feb, I was given a word on Joshua 3:5. During the subsequent months, I too went through a time of consecration. God had to make sure that my heart was pure and my allegiance was solely to Him. He was performing a circumcision of my heart all these years. But at the appointed time, He came and told me to consecrate myself again. That was the when I saw the post about Joshua 3:5 on 3 Nov and 14 Dec. The time must have come. 

 

The reason for consecration is so that we could be presented as pure and sanctified vessels for God to pour out His glory through us to bless others. God can do miracles independent of us but He wants to partner us so that we can share in His joy. God is so good. He seems to be saying that there is a finality to a long-standing issue in my life. 

 

Just like the time when I really thought I was going to be stuck in that workplace forever, yet when my time came, God moved me out just as He promised. It didn’t matter how long I waited for my promise to manifest. It didn’t matter how it didn’t look like it was coming soon. It didn’t matter that everything seems the same in the natural for a while. If God said it, it is done. He does not lie. If He said your appointed time has come, then it has come. 

 

Just continue to press in, move forward and only believe. Rest in His faithfulness because the battle belongs to the Lord. Don’t even touch it. I have truly come to the end of this journey. It is going to be 13 years on 18 Jan 2021. I should know the times and seasons. My time and season. I should be aware by now that God has started releasing me from my prison and concreted my calling. That was the second wind. So don’t look back anymore.

 

This month, God began to show me how I have passed the faith test. How I have finished the race, crossed the finishing line. I have fought the good fight of faith and He said: Well done, my good and faithful servant! He began to impress upon me that my past season was finally done. He was closing the chapter. He pointed out the story of Joseph with the 13-year wilderness and said it wasn’t a coincidence that I have walked through 13 years of wilderness since Jan 2008. 

 

God also pointed out that for the past two years I had been in prison but now I am being released from prison. In 2018, Heng also likened me to Joseph being in prison, waiting for God to release me. As I looked back on hindsight, I saw that I had indeed walked through a long season of wilderness, wandering in the desert. But now it has finally ended. It wasn’t a coincidence that another sister who had been with me on this journey said she believed the process she had been going through in this season was complete.