Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Moved House - Finally!

First of all, a belated blessed Christmas and a happy new year to all!

We just completed our house moving on 27 Dec and thank God that we took only 1.5 days to unpack all our stuff. It was interesting because we took 3 months to pack everything but only a very short time to unpack. We thank God for the strength and the speed to complete the unpacking in such a short time.

This draws an interesting analogy for me: The preparation period might seem long and tedious but when God moves, everything is accelerated. And actually the preparation is as important as the actual move. Without the preparation of packing, we would not be able to complete the move in a day's time. So if you are in the midst of waiting as God prepares you for your next season, be encouraged. All these years of waiting and period of preparation are not wasted. If not for the preparation, we would be ill prepared to move on to the next season quickly.

And when it is time to move on, there is usually an urgency because God has already done all He needed to do in us.  This is like Habakkuk 2:3, the revelation awaits an appointed time and though it tarries, wait for it. It will surely come and will not be a second late.

When we started year 2010, all these blessings were not manifesting yet. Pastor Lian was saying during Chinese New Year that although it might not seem like we are blessed in the beginning of the year, by the end of the year, we will see that we are 10 times more blessed than other people.

I couldn't see how I was more blessed than other people in the natural.  At that time, I was struggling with waiting for another baby and with issues at work. I wanted to leave this organisation but there were no signs of open door. But within the last few months (Sep-Dec), God turned everything around with the purchase of our condo. The rest of the things fall into place and I could finally realise my dream of staying home as a happy mother of children!

And now as we stay in this beautiful condo, we see the manifestation of God's blessings come to pass. Indeed we are 10 times more blessed at the end of the year and though we are still waiting for the manifestation of our 2nd baby, we trust that our appointed time is here. We have even prepared the nursery for her. God is not going to delay her coming and God will not be even one second late. Praise the Lord!

  

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Finding rest in the midst of busyness

I can't believe it has been 2 weeks since I last blogged. Ever since taking possession of our condo, we have been busy preparing for renovation and buying stuff for our new home. Although it is an exciting period, our schedules are almost packed everyday. Besides, we are also having more viewings to our HDB flat as we are renting out our flat in Jan 2011.

But thank God this period is lull period at work, so I can focus more on preparing for my new home. Actually moving house really needs a lot of coordination, from renovation to curtains to furniture to packing, you can imagine how mammoth the task ahead is. In addition, we are also seeking to rent out our flat at the same time. And the fact that Christmas is coming and we need to shop for gifts for our loved ones and friends does add to the list of things to do.

Yet in the midst of the busyness, I am reminded to rest in our Lord Jesus. Being the planner at home, I am the type that needs to know exactly when the furniture are delivered, how to get the best deal, what things need to be packed early etc. But God tells me to rest in Him because everything that I needed has already been provided by Him.

It is really true. So many times I just flow with the Spirit. If the Spirit prompts me to rest, stop all the shopping for home stuff, I will follow. God is so good. We were looking for a dish drainer (those type that you put your dishes and bowls on) but we found the prices too expensive. Then we started our hunt rushing from place to place to compare prices. We couldn't find one suitable at the price we wanted. Then just yesterday, both Heng and I just felt like eating lunch at Tampines Mall. We really didn't plan to shop but there was a sale going on and we found the dish drainer at half the price we wanted! We really thanked God!

Only God can put us at the right place and right time. All our previous efforts, shuttling here and there didn't really help as we couldn't possibly know where the best deals are! Only God can and will lead us to the best deals. Usually we are not so price conscious but because we had to make a lot of cash purchases during this period, we desired to have the best deals so that our dollar can be stretched. God knows our desires and fulfills them.

So right now, even as I blog, there are so many things waiting for me to do but I remembered Matthew 6:33 'Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to me.' So this is what I choose to do...continue to rest in Jesus despite the loads of things to do. It has all been taken care of. Amen!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Burden Lifted Off My Back

Regarding my decision to leave my job in end Jan next year, the only people I haven't informed are my parents. You might find it weird that the whole world already knows except them. The reason was that I find it difficult to break the news to them.

I did that two years ago when I told them I wanted to leave my full-time job to do part-time teaching. They were so against it. Their rationale was that part-time job would not provide the benefits like annual leave, medical benefits and bonuses. And at that time in Oct 2008, I guessed it was also not God's timing for me to leave my job yet.

The government just announced that they would increase the maternity leave to four months. Not only that, I would also lose my year-end bonus and my performance bonus. Besides, one of my staff just left, her replacement had not been found and it would be disruptive to my boss if I leave now. So I stayed for good reasons but mainly because I didn't sense that it was God's will to leave my job then. It was tough to stay on but I made the decision to trust God.

Since then God has been preparing the way to provide for me to stay home. I asked God to do three things for me in order for me to stay home:
1) To provide for finances so that I can stay home in style
2) To put me in an environment so that I can fellowship with other stay-home mums
3) To let me find something meaningful to do so that I won't be bored (because after a while, taking care of kids can be quite mundane.)

God is so good. He fulfilled all my three requests. He provided for our finances through the rental income. He put me in a condo where there are many stay-home mums. He put an idea for me to write a book and blog so that I can still be connected to the outside world. Isn't God great?

Lastly, He also prepared the hearts of my parents so that they could take to the news well. When I told them last night, they were not so 'worked up'. I knew that the timing was right and they saw how God blessed them financially over the years. They had the assurance from God that though I might not be able to give them as much household allowance as I did, God would still find ways to provide for them.

Actually this was one of the issues that I had to grapple with before I came to the decision to leave. But once I made the decision, I trusted God to take care of my parents' family and to prepare my parents' hearts for this decision. Thank God that He took care of that and my greatest burden now has been lifted! Praise Jesus!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Faith is seeing from God's perspectives

I heard Pastor Prince's sermon 'Speaking God's Language of Faith' a few times because it is really such a fantastic sermon. But today when I heard it again, this message jumped at me.

You might have heard it before. Sometimes people say that faith is like this: when you believe or confess long enough, the thing that you desired which didn't exist will eventually materialise. Pastor Prince explained it like this. Actually it is not that the thing you desired never existed. The fact that you cannot see it with your physical eyes doesn't mean that it didn't exist. 

The truth is that long before we believe or confess it, God had already seen the reality come to pass in our lives. For example, long before Abraham had a child, God already saw him as a father of many nations. God lives outside of time. He saw the future in Abraham if it has already happened. It heartens me to know that when God sees me, He sees me as a happy mother of children at home long before I even had that desire.

So, when we believe and confess God's promise for us, faith is actually about seeing reality from God's perspectives. We are agreeing with what God is doing in our lives and rejoicing in faith before we see the physical manifestation. Pastor Prince also mentioned that when the manifestation comes, we are not as excited as before. The reason is that some time ago, we have already rejoiced and celebrated the victory in faith. That is really so true. 

Today, I would like challenge you to start seeing yourself as how God sees you - prosperous, healthy, strong, blessed, highly favoured and deeply loved!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Speaking to Your Mountain

Many of us want to see the desired results in our lives but how many of us are speaking what we want to see? I just want to quote an example in which I spoke to my mountain and saw the results manifest.

The completion date (the day we collect the keys) for our new home is on 1 Dec. Prior to that, we were expecting to receive a letter of approval from Central Provident Fund (CPF) to confirm the use of funds in our ordinary accounts to pay for part of our condo downpayment.  The use of CPF funds is very critical because we need to 'cough up' this amount equivalent in cash if this does not materialise. Of course I checked all the necessary conditions and even called up CPF Board to confirm we could use this money, after setting aside some Minimum Sum in our accounts.

I remembered opening our letterbox a few times expecting to see the CPF letter but the letter haven't arrived. Surprisingly, I was not disappointed. I just declared that 'The CPF Board has approved our request and our letter is on the way.' Each time I didn't see the letter, I would declare that it is on the way. As the completion date neared, I could have panicked, called CPF Board and worried about whether our request would be approved. But I didn't. I just spoke to my situation.

True enough, last Friday, the letter arrived! Praise the Lord! I was of course not surprised to see the letter because I had expected it to come all the while! But I was certainly relieved. I didn't even doubt the contents of the letter before I opened it. I assumed it would be approved and of course it was approved!

The interesting thing was another letter came along with this. It was not what I had expected though. This is a letter from Singapore Land Authority (SLA) to confirm that the caveat had been lodged on our new property, so that others could not lay claim to it. This letter was also important but I wasn't expecting it. But thank God it all came within the same day! I am really excited about the possession of our condo because it is just next week! Counting down to the momentous event!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

What Has Faith Got To Do With Lego

I am so excited to share from this book 'The Spirit of Faith' by Mark Hankins. I learnt about a very powerful spiritual principle that I needed to share with all.

The subtitle of this passage is 'Lego Bible Building Blocks'. In Mark 11:23, Jesus said 'Whoever says to this mountain, be removed and be cast into the seas, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.' Notice that Jesus said 'believe' once but he mentioned 'says' three times. We would have to pay three times more attention on the saying part than the believing part. The speaking part is vital to faith.

In Mark 11:23, Jesus used three different Greek words to explain the speaking part of faith. The first 'says' is the Greek word 'epo', which means command. It shows the authority of the believer. The second reference to 'says' was the Greek word 'laleo' which means to be bold and speak out with your own voice. The third reference to speaking is the Greek word 'lego' which means a systematic set discourse (conversation).

With reference to the Lego sets that contain building blocks for children to construct according to the diagram on the box, Jesus was in effect saying 'I am giving you a lego set of building blocks that you can use to frame your world according to the picture I have given to you in the Word of God.'

Oh to me, this is very exciting because this is a chance for me to re-construct my world according to what God says about me - healthy, strong, prosperous, fruitful, blessed and favoured. I can frame my future by putting the Word of God in my mouth. When I confess that I am the happy mother of children at home, I am actually framing my future to the picture that God has for me.

You have to recognise that your circumstances do not frame your future. Your words and confession actually shape and determine what you are and what you will become. Remember: epo, laleo, lego. So, what do you want to say about your future?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Joshua my beloved son

As a parent, there are so many examples we can draw from our feelings towards our children that reflect our heavenly Father's love and pride towards us. There are also instances when I see Joshua react to my love for him that causes me to reflect on how I respond to my Abba Father's love.

Recently we went to the 'Parent Teacher Conference' to hear what the teachers have to say about Joshua. Thank God it was a glowing positive report about how Joshua is learning very well and that he is one of the more outstanding boys in his class. His teachers say that now he can read on his own and is able to do the worksheets well.  The English teacher says that usually the girls are more advanced in their learning but Joshua seems to be not lagging behind. She has a higher expectation of Joshua because she feels that Joshua has potential and can be pushed to do better.

The Chinese teacher says that Joshua is also good in his Chinese but since the Chinese characters are more complicated, he needs more time to learn to recognise the characters. Then we asked about his conduct in school. We were actually more concerned whether he is respectful towards his teachers and friends. The teachers said Joshua is quite respectful to them and he is not rude in anyway. We were relieved because sometimes he was rude to us. 

My hubby said the main takeaway from this feedback session was that his teachers really loved Joshua and believed in him.  Thank God for loving and believing teachers! I know that makes all the difference in Joshua's learning experiences. It is also God's answer to my prayers, that God will place loving teachers who believe in Joshua.

Usually I shy away from talking about my son because I don't want to be seen as bragging. But the fact is that as a mother, I am truly proud of my son and I don't hesitate to tell him I am proud of him. Not only that, I also will speak well of Joshua in front of others rather than putting him down in an attempt to be modest. In the same manner, I believe my Daddy God is always proud of me as His beloved child and He never fails to brag about what I have done to the angels. He is always pleased with me and whenever He talks about me, I put a smile on His face, just like how thinking and talking about Joshua puts a smile on my face.

Last night I bought a book on Thomas for Joshua. He has asked for this book a few times already. I told him I will buy it for him when I see it. So when I bought it, I can't wait to present the gift to him and to see the look of joy on his face. You should see how happy he was! He really loved the book and kept showing it off to his cousin and his uncle. He said 'You see, my mummy buy this book for me!'

At one point, I was a bit uncomfortable about him showing off but the Holy Spirit spoke to me: 'A child does not know how to show off. He is just being honest about how elated he is regarding the love that his mum has showered on him.' At that moment I wondered how many of us are really comfortable to tell others about the Father's love for us and about the gifts (blessings) that He has showered upon us. This is not the time to be shy but to boast and shout about the love of the Father towards us. Yes, the motive is to cause others to also desire to experience the same closeness and love between me and my heavenly Father.

Monday, November 15, 2010

God is a God of Acceleration!

Some time ago I asked God what happens after restoration. Because I believed that in 2010, God has restored all that was lost in previous years and He has repaid me all the years that the locusts had eaten. Then I asked him, now what God? What happens next?

God revealed to me that transition time connotes God’s work of restoration (for me, I was in transition for the past 2 years). And transformation time connotes God’s work of acceleration. This analogy of a plane on the runway came to me.  

A plane has to travel a distance on the runway for some time before taking off (that is like transition, because this process only takes a while). It needs to accelerate but once it reaches a certain speed, the aerodynamic forces will lift up the plane into the air (that is acceleration).  In the same manner, in order for us to soar like eagles, God would accelerate what He is doing in our lives.

When we near the end of our runway (end of our transition period), we suddenly find ourselves being lifted by His Spirit and then we soar. It is effortless because there is a certain momentum built up already.  Like the eagles, they can fly long and high in the sky because they are not flapping their wings all the time. They could discern the thermal currents and ride on such currents, hence minimising their efforts to fly. We should learn to be like the eagles, to discern the work of the Holy Spirit and then to cooperate with God when there is a flow. 

The key is that when we near the end of the runway, we cannot afford to shrink back or to go into reverse gear or we would crash. We may not have it all together yet but when God brings us to that point, we just soar! Amen! All glory to God!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Restoration for marriages

I have a very dear uncle whom I loved very much and I looked up to him as a role model since young. He was always encouraging me to do well in my studies and would reward me with gifts and cash when I had good grades in school. He was always generous towards me. Actually my parents were not so concerned about how I do in school but my uncle was. He believed in the best in me and always told me that I could earn 'big' money in future and give my parents a better life. My family was very poor then.

Little did he know that the seed he sowed in me many years ago actually bloomed and blossomed. Today I grew up to be exactly what he had expected me to. I was the first in the entire family to have completed a university education and brought pride to my parents.  I thank God that I had such a loving uncle who believed so much in me when even my parents didn't seem to care so much in the past.

Many years later, he and his wife had some challenges in their marriage. They were on the verge of a divorce. It turned out that he had made some mistakes again and again. Now his wife was very disappointed with him.  But thank God that both of them are believers and that my auntie is touched by God's grace. Even how trying it was for her, she never gave up on this marriage. I really admire her for her love and dedication for my uncle.  The road towards restoration is not easy and sometimes they still struggle. I know my uncle is also trying his best to turn around. I thank God that it is not by his own efforts but by God's grace. That will take the pressure off self-performance.

But I truly believe that God's work of restoration in their family is complete because of the finished work in Christ. In my eyes, I still see my uncle as the loving and compassionate one.  No matter what mistakes he has done, he will still be respected by me. Even if no one believes in him, I still will. And I believe my faith that God will fully restore their marriage will cause a beam of light to pierce through unbelief all the way up to heaven and the anointing will follow the line of faith back to earth to release the power of God!  I know that God will turn the ashes into beauty and this family will emerge stronger and closer to the Lord! They would be a great testimony and blessing to many others who could be going through the same struggles! Amen!

Putting action behind my faith

I just had dinner with two of my colleagues, one of whom is leaving by end Nov. She didn't intend to leave so soon but God opened a way for her. She got a phone call by the prospective employer who eventually offered her a job. She was not even looking for a job but she was head-hunted! The offer was so good that she could forego her bonus and even a possible promotion within our company. God is so good. When He moves, He moves really fast!

During dinner, I made a few statements which I didn't even realise. I said something like I will leave this company with another baby and my colleague asked if I am pregnant. I said maybe and then I said yes, I have it! I own it! I am pregnant!  Then later on we talked about having dinner again sometime in the future. I said we should get together before I give birth, if not, I will be too busy to come out and have dinner. Another colleague then commented that I spoke like I am already pregnant.

It's amazing...sometimes I also don't know why I said certain things but it came to pass. There are 2 occasions which happened. First time was my boss and my staff asked me when I am leaving this company because I was talking about it for some time. At that time I felt pressured to give a date but then I told them I would leave by end of this year, definitely before the company moves to a new office in Jan 2011. I don't know why I said that but it happened. I am really leaving after the year-end bonus.

The other time was when I told Joshua (my son) after my 3 weeks long leave in July that mummy would definitely be back to take care of you in a few months' time. So, I wasn't sad to go back to work because I knew it would be temporary.  At that time I didn't know that I will decide to tender in Oct but I said what I wanted to see. And it came to pass.

There is another time that I spoke something and I am still waiting to see it come to pass. Whenever I celebrated Joshua's birthday (in early Aug), I would pine for another baby. Because I thought, oh another year has passed and Joshua's age gap with his sibling is getting wider. But this year, I was joyful when I celebrated his 4th birthday because I told my hubby this would be the last year we are celebrating as 3 persons in the family. Next year, when we celebrate his birthday, there would be 4 of us!

And as I was coming home, I suddenly had this sense that I would give birth by July next year, just before Joshua's birthday. That would confirm what I spoke about celebrating his birthday as a family of four. I am not glorifying myself here. All I am saying is I put action behind what I believe. Remember Jesus told the blind man in Matt 9:29 'according to your faith let it be to you.' In other words, you are what you believe. If I can believe, all things are possible to me. I don't even know why I have the boldness to pen this down but I felt that my faith level is on high. And God wants me to pen this down. All glory be to God! When it finally came to pass, then all would know that it is all God and not me! Amen!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Blessings from my dad

Some time ago I had this desire of being blessed by my dad. In the bible, there was a story (Genesis 27:27-29) about how Isaac wanted to bless his eldest son, Esau before he pass on. Rebekah the mother heard about it and asked the younger son Jacob to impose as Esau to obtain the father's blessings instead. So when Esau came back from his hunt, he asked his father to bless him but it was too late. Isaac said he has blessed Jacob and the blessing is irreversible. The rest is history - indeed Jacob (Israel) is blessed and cannot be cursed.

I always thought that such blessings from fathers could only be obtained before they passed on. But it is not true. The Jewish fathers still lay hands on their children everyday, to bless them. Recently I heard a sister from my care group share about she was estranged from her dad and finally reconciled with him after he became a believer. Now they could talk to each other like friends in the coffeeshop. Then one day she asked her dad to lay hands on her and bless her because she said the blessing of a father is very powerful. Her dad laughed but eventually he did bless her.

Yesterday I was talking about this to my parents and I boldly asked my dad to lay hands on my head and bless me. Thank God he agreed and he even told me to write down the prayer of blessing for me. I was thinking wow, I could have a blank cheque to request for my own blessings! I wrote down what I wanted God to bless me with. Most importantly, I wanted my dad to bless me with fruitfulness and for me to have another baby soon. I knew that when my baby manifest, my dad would also have a part in this blessing because he prayed for me.

When my dad laid hands on me, I could feel the strong anointing. When he spoke, it was like one of spiritual authority, very much like how my previous Pastor prayed for me. It was amazing! After he blessed me, I was moved to tears and I hugged him. It is really wonderful to have my father's blessings on my life spoken verbally over me. I literally felt like a princess, feeling so loved!

What was significant about this act of my dad blessing me was that he used to be so against Christianity and persecuted me for going church 15 years ago. How he was saved was another miracle story altogether. I can see how my dad was totally transformed by the love of Christ, so much so that he could take the position of the head of household to bless his children. All glory to God!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Signs of God's goodness

Have you ever waited for a promise to manifest in your life and sometimes gotten all weary waiting for it? Maybe you have waited for a long time and then you start to waver and ask if God's promise for you is ever coming to pass or whether you even heard Him correctly in the first place? God is merciful and He never fails to provide signs along the way to confirm you are on the right track and your breakthrough is coming.

During Christmas service at the Indoor Stadium last year, Pastor Prince asked the congregation to think of 3 wishes for the coming year. He said the anointing of the Lord is very strong and he encouraged us to bring these 3 wishes to the Lord. After he prayed for all of us, he said 'Your miracle is already conceived. In the months to come, the manifestation will be clear.' I prayed for 3 things: our 2nd baby, a condo and my writing ministry.

Through the course of 2010, I already saw two of my prayers come to pass. By God's grace, we bought our condo in Sep 2010 and in Oct 2010, I made a decision to be a stay home mum so that I can take care of my kids and write my book. God also gave me greater clarity on my writing ministry and though I had not started on my book, I am already blogging (which is great fun!)

I told God that even though we are nearing the end of 2010, I still believe that I will see the manifestation of my baby before the end of the year. Because I believe it is in this year that all my wishes would manifest as I heard Pastor clearly said 'in the months to come', not in the years to come.  Besides, two out of three prayers came to pass. So why not this one?

I was thinking about this on last Sunday service again. Then as I was reading the Solid Rock magazine by our church, I saw this testimony by a brother. He said 'For those of us who brought 3 wishes to the Lord on that Christmas service last year, I just want to encourage you that God has heard your prayers.'

He went on to share that he prayed for a closer relationship with God, a child and a job (he just resigned). Within 2 months, his wife was pregnant despite the fact that they were in their forties. Then in Aug 2010, he found a job in Qatar which was much better than the last job. Wow, it was amazing because he had struggled about finding a job and sometimes felt he could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. But he chose to believe that God will make a way when there seems to be no way.

Then one day, a phone call and an email changed everything. He concluded by saying that sometimes things seemed impossible but all things are possible with God. God answered all of his wishes within this year! Hallelujah! This was clearly a sign of God's goodness to tell me that it would be done to me according to what I can believe!   

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Baggage Draggers

Everyone of us has baggage. It could be an offence, a betrayal, an unfair situation which results in anger, doubt or bitterness.  Either way, such baggage is like junk. This past week had been tough for me because I had to deal with the issues of my work which I had handed over to another dept after the re-organisation.

I guess I felt indignant because I was not treated right. I had to keep casting my cares to the Lord. I had to drop those burdens. I had to tell myself to forgive those colleagues who treated me not so kindly. I struggled a lot about forgiving them. It was tough because many of them are my friends, my sisters in Christ. But I told God I don't want all these baggage to be dragged into the next season of my life. I don't want to be a baggage dragger.  I made a decision. I prayed for them instead. I asked God to bless them richly in their lives. The love that the Holy Spirit shed in my heart was the only way to help me forgive them.

Actually I can choose not to care about many of the projects so much since I have decided to leave this company. But a part of me just want to do my best to have a good closure. Again I need to remind myself it is not by my own strength that I close this chapter well. It has to be God's strength because He who started a good work in me will bring it to completion until the day of Christ (Phil 1:6).

I told myself that I am still going to leave this place with my head lifted high. I know I may have made mistakes or not done a good work in handing over my projects. Anyone from the old regime would have known that it was the best I could do in those times. Anyway, many of those who criticise my work don't even have a solution in the first place! So when we took the ball and ran, we got the flax! I told myself God can turn those unfair situations around. People may have hurt me and done me wrong but I will leave it up to God. I trust that my Daddy God will not only make my wrongs right, He will repay double for all these trouble.  I ask that God will give me the grace to see me through the remaining 2 months in this place. I shall go out in peace and be led forth in joy! Amen!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

When God Ran

Have you ever felt that sometimes God wants you to do something quickly? Like when He told us to obey, not only is our response important, the speed in which we respond is also very important. Many times we may not know why God has a sense of urgency to move things but we trust that He has our best interests. We may have been waiting for a long time and then God says to move on.

Recently I experienced this sense of urgency that God wants us to quickly move into our new home at Rio Vista and for my 2nd baby to be conceived. Even though I felt the urgency in late Sep, the manifestation of my pregnancy has not appeared yet. However, despite the natural circumstances, deep in my heart, I still believed that the time to conceive is NOW. Yesterday I asked God to confirm that what I had sensed is true.

Thank God He confirmed it in Pastor Prince's devotional today - When God Ran (http://www.newcreation.org.sg/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=25&Itemid=47) This passage talked about how God is usually cool and composed. The only time He was in a hurry and ran was when He saw the prodigal son who was still a long way from home.  I have never read any passage that says God is in a hurry. Those that I read was about how God has a perfect timing for everything, which is true. But this passage is different. The Father was in a hurry because He wants to reinstate our authority as sons of the Most High God, a position we had lost when Adam fell. So if the Father appears to be in a hurry, it is only because He is in a hurry to assure you of your position as His precious child and entitle you of all the blessings He has in store for you!

In my case, God is telling me that there is an urgency because He is eager to put back into my hands the authority to invoke Jesus' Name so that I can walk in dominion every single day. He is teaching me to invoke the Name of Jesus to command my body to conceive, to line itself up with the Word of God. In His mercy, He also reminded me in Luke 18:27 and Matthew 9:23 that all things are possible with God and if I can believe, anything is possible. What I didn't know was that God my Father was teaching me to keep the spirit of faith high to receive this miracle and to do 3 times more speaking than believing that I am pregnant. God couldn't wait to bless me with my heart's desire (my 2nd baby) and many other good things. He couldn't wait to see the look of joy on my face when these promises manifest. That is why He is in a hurry to bring this to pass. Wow! What a revelation! Praise God for such assuring confirmation!

Friday, October 29, 2010

My birthday celebration

28 Oct is my birthday. My hubby is sweet enough to take the day off to spend it with me. He didn't really plan anything and it is not our usual custom to surprise each other with programmes or presents...so we just decided to have a good buffet lunch outside. Just the two of us. Romantic right?

Turned out that when we woke up yesterday, Joshua was having a fever and we had to bring him to see a doctor. I was not worried because I know he is healed just that we could not proceed with our buffet lunch. I need to wait for my mum to return from work at mid-day before we could ask her to help take care of Joshua.

And because we need to pacify Joshua as to why he had to stay home while we went out, we promised to buy a train set for him. He gave specific instructions on what type of train tracks to buy. So the rest of the day we were busy looking for his toy, covering three places in total. By the end of the day we were so tired. Thank God we finally found the one he wanted!  I was confused though...it was my birthday but I was busy looking for a present for my son! My hubby said we have no lack and our happiness lies in seeing our children happy. This is so true of our heavenly Father.

At the end of my birthday, my best present from my Daddy God was this devotional from Pastor Joel. It talks about sudden breakthroughs. For me, I have been praying and waiting for God to lead me out of my company and suddenly this month, He gave me the green light.  That's a breakthrough.  And we were trying to look for a condo for 2 years but suddenly, within 2 months, we had 5 viewings and we bought our condo. That’s another breakthrough. God knows that the last breakthrough for this year that I have been waiting for is the manifestation of my pregnancy.

I am reminded that no matter what I’ve been facing, no matter how impossible things look, the God of the breakthrough wants to visit my house today. Get ready! I keep expecting, keep believing because the God of the breakthroughs is ready to overwhelm me with His goodness today!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Let go of the good before receiving God's best

I was reading my notes of past sermons by Pastor Prince. I was so encouraged by this message that says 'let go of the good before receiving God's best'.  How true this is! Many people are unwilling to let go of the current situation (be it a relationship, a job, a home etc) and sometimes this hinders them from receiving God's best. 

For me, it was clear that I had to let go of this current job before God moves me on to the next season of my life, where I see my career as home-based. Ironically, though I had cried out to God many times this year to let me leave this company, when the time came that God says 'Go', I was still reluctant. 

I was thinking about what I had chosen to give up.  I could have a good career path here. My bosses already told me they are grooming me for a higher management position and my career is all mapped out should I choose to stay.  However, this career advancement or promotion really wasn't my heart's desire, so it didn't excite me. Of course I was grateful to my bosses for granting me the opportunity to grow in this company but I told them this wasn't what I wanted in life. I told them I would quit after the year end bonus.  I can imagine how many people would have jumped at such opportunities and I gave it up!

In fact, what I had given up was not just the promotional prospects and the ability to earn much more in future.  I had given up my maternity benefits should I stay on the job till I give birth. Actually that was what was keeping me here all this while. I had thought God was keeping me here till I give birth to enjoy the maternity benefits then move me out. But when my pregnancy had not yet manifested, I thought maybe God has a better plan for me. A wild thought came to my mind. Maybe I don't need to work and still could be entitled to my maternity benefits... That was when I was open to making the decision to leave before I confirm pregnant.

I was leaving all my foregone benefits to God (performance bonus included) and believing that God will grant me double the amount that I had given up. He will not shortchange me.  This is, by far, one of the toughest steps of faith I took in my life as it entailed an entire career change.  But after I made the decision, I felt so light. In fact, all the burdens left me as I cast my cares unto the Lord. I told God my part is to believe you and speak out what I believe. Your part is to perform. What an easy role for me!

Friday, October 22, 2010

A Lesson on Faith

Recently the Lord has been teaching me a lot about faith. These are things that I have learnt before but somehow I had forgotten to put them to practice. Hebrews 11:1 says 'Now faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see.' There are so many important lessons about faith that I can share but one thing that jumps out at me was this in Mark 11:23 when Jesus said 'Whosoever says to this mountain, be removed and be cast into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.' Jesus is telling us in order to get from believing to the manifestation of our promise, we need to do 3 times more speaking than believing. Many of us do believe but how many of us hold fast to the confession of our faith?

While trying for this 2nd child, I have been confessing that I am pregnant since 2008. Every single month despite menses, I still believe and confess I am pregnant. I had done it for so many months that I had lost count of the months. But it is ok, I don't look back, I press on towards the promise that God had already given me another baby.  Was I disappointed at times? Did I get depressed? Of course I did, especially when the waiting took much longer than I expected. It is only natural but I choose to focus on what God said about me that I am a happy mother of children at home.

Sometimes people may think I am crazy but I know I am not. Because God always calls things that are non-existent as if they already exist. Like how He called Abraham a father of many nations while he was still childless at 100 years old.  Being the timeless God, He had gone ahead into Abraham's future, prepared this great blessing of a son for Abraham and came back to tell him. I know God has also gone into my future, prepared all the wonderful blessings for me, came back and told me 'It is very good.' 

I was not very comfortable to share about my profession of faith that I am pregnant before I confirm pregnant. But I sensed that God wants me to talk about this just before the manifestation comes. In the middle of the waiting just one step before my miracle appears, I need to say 'Hold it! I'd like to say a few things before this is over.' Anyone can say things after the waiting is over like how people will say 'I just knew everything will turn out fine.' But why didn't they say it in the middle of the struggle?

In the middle of the waiting, the Lord wants me to say 'The victory is mine. My baby is here.' The Word spoken to me must be spoken through me. Just this week, the Lord impressed upon me to think about what I planned to do when I confirm my pregnancy. So here goes:
1) Praise God and thank Him for His faithfulness
2) Go out and celebrate, have a good dinner with my hubby and son
3) Tell my parents and in-laws about the good news
4) Arrange appointment with the gynae (to see my baby on ultrasound)
5) Start taking antenatal vitamins
6) Bring out all the maternity clothes (to prepare to wear)
7) Tell my care group and a few good friends
8) Writing about my pregnancy process on my blog
9) Buy my baby's clothes, toys etc
10) Continue praying for my baby (which I started 3 months ago) and talk to her

A toast to mothers!

I used to be quite active in ministry, serving in cell group and prayer ministry before I became a mother.  Though having kids was my heart's desire, the reality was that I still had to adjust to motherhood. I knew I had to change my role from frontline ministry to home ministry (where I took care of my son, Joshua) while my hubby took on leadership position in the church.  I must say it wasn't that easy especially when my baby was smaller.  Motherhood is a 24/7 vocation, as in there is no time off like you can take leave from work.  It is a continuous task and very intensive as your baby needs your full attention. It could be disruptive in a sense that you couldn't even have a proper conversation with another sister in church on Sunday (mothers: you know what I mean).

Sometimes when I am caught up with the mundane tasks of motherhood, I lost perspective of my calling and my role in the process. I remember feeling rather jealous that my hubby could continue to serve in church while I had to take care of Joshua while waiting for him to finish his meetings. I had become wearied, tired and restless. What was worse was that I couldn't even have a healthy intake of God's Word on Sunday as my time was spent chasing after my toddler in nursery (back then in my old church). When I am under-nourished, how then can I pour out God's love into my son?

Thank God He revealed to me that He cares for mothers so much that He doesn't neglect our needs. He knows how important it is to nourish the mothers with His word, to fulfill their needs, grant them rest and refreshment. He knows the strategic role that mothers play in the lives of the kids and at home. Disarm the mother and you have a dysfunctional family. Remember someone once said 'When momma ain't happy, everyone ain't happy!' What the enemy wanted to do was to keep the mothers in the physical realm when he can make them feel tired, unrefreshed, dry or bored. Sometimes even doubting the power of prayers for their kids.

But God is so good. He loves us mothers very much and wants us to celebrate our lives as beautiful individuals with our divine destinies. We are afterall still individuals with needs and He wants to meet those needs. Whether it is the need to still look good, to be involved in ministries, to have a healthy intake of God's Word or maybe just to have a good rest at the feet of Jesus. 

Our identity is separate from our kids. He sees us as glorious looking, not troublesome or naggy. He sees us with great worth because we are children of the Most High God. If you think that God is done with your life after you became a mother, then be challenged with this thought: God is going to bring you to greater heights than you have soared before.  He still has a way to bring those latent dreams and desires in your heart to come to pass. Your best life has yet to be.

In Apr 2008, God gave me an idea of starting a mothers' fellowship in my old church - a time for the young mothers to share, pray and encourage one another with God's Word, without the distraction of the kids.  I reckon that as a mother of one child then, if I am struggling, then the rest of the mothers must be struggling more with more children. Some mothers had even 'resigned' themselves to the fact that this is just a phase they needed to endure when their kids are small.

Although this idea did not materialise, the seed was already planted in my heart. I knew my ministry was to reach out to the mothers. This ministry will be a great blessing because it is birthed out of God's heartbeat for the mothers.  He wants us to see ourselves with a strategic role: raising champion kids, 'movers and shakers' and leaders of God in the next generation. He wants us to leave a legacy in our children's lives that would impact even future generations.  He intends for us to play a part in the fulfilment of our children's divine destinies while He is also working on our divine destinies.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

God is truly faithful!

Today I got to know a piece of news that is so wonderful! In fact, I have been waiting for this piece of good news for many years! One of my friends told me that she is pregnant with a baby girl and will give birth next Feb! I remember in 2005 she was already trying for a baby. But she is not the very intense type like me, she says sometimes she is lukewarm about it, sometimes she is very enthusiastic.

She and her hubby likes to travel, so sometimes she is ambivalent about having a child because they know life would not be the same. (Of course life would not be the same, life with children is 10 times better!)  Though I am sure she experienced disappointments, she eventually left this issue to the Lord. That is when she found herself pregnant in May this year. Indeed, God is so faithful. Even though its been 4 years, He never forgot about her and her desire to have a child.  I told her though I am also trying for a second child, this piece of news made me happier than when I found out I am pregnant! Ha ha!  Praise the Lord!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Moving House

Although we are scheduled to move into our new home at Rio Vista in Dec, I had requested for the boxes to be provided in early Oct.  I knew we should space out our packing because it would be stressful to cramp everything together in Dec. This proved to be a wise decision, thank God! We had just started packing from our study room and guess what, after two weekends of packing (counting only half a day each weekend), we still haven't finished packing the study room. And that is just the study room! We have yet to start packing the bedrooms, the kitchen, the storeroom etc. 

Well, I told my hubby I need to take one step at a time. As I think about all the other rooms that needed to be packed, I already feel exhausted. Being the task-oriented person, coupled with my planning skills, I can't help feeling overwhelmed. But I guess God is also telling me to rest even while packing...that I should enjoy the process and not be stressed out by it.

Actually as we were packing, we uncovered a lot of hidden things that hold fond memories of our past.  Like a file that contains the renovation works for this current home, our wedding preparations etc. These are so nostalgic. I remembered the times we spent in this home, the happy and sad memories.  When we first got married, my hubby said this home is special because it will be with us in the early years of our marriage and our family life (with kids). That's why he refused to sell the flat.

And that's how God gave him the desire to hold 2 properties. God is so good - He really accelerates things, in just 2 years' time, God not only enabled us to pay off the mortgage of our flat but provided the finances for us to pay the downpayment of our condo! With God, nothing is impossible! Who would have thought that we could pay off our flat mortgage so soon, who would have thought we could save enough money to buy another property but God in His grace, provided all these for us, without us labouring or toiling! Indeed this is a year of restful increase!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Of Dreams and Heart's Desires (Part II)

Other than preparing for us financially (so that I could stay home in style), God was also giving me clarity on my writing ministry. He knows I could be bored at home hence He also put this desire in me to be involved in ministry while at home. Just last year, God gave me a dream and a desire to write a book and to minister to the mothers all over the world.

At the work front, God was stretching me intellectually and emotionally. He was training me to be reliant on Him every step of my way. I had a very different portfolio that required me to plan and write policy papers. I was never good in writing and so I felt inadequate in my job oftentimes, yet I had to handle all the insecurities and depressive moods of colleagues around me. God is good. He gave me strength, wisdom and joy everyday. I had to learn to focus on His thoughts about me (that I am a champion, I have great value in His sight etc) and my strengths. 

God told me just to rest and flow with Him, doing what He wants me to do. For example, I had tons of information to process to do my job well and I don't like to work late because of my family, hence I asked God to give me the wisdom to know the information I needed to know to do my job well.  Slowly I learnt to gain clarity in my thought process and had a lot more rigour in the way I approach an issue. 

I also became more emotionally independent, as in I was still emphatic to my colleagues' problems yet I was able to release the burden to God. In the past I would get very depressed and affected by the negative emotions of the people around me. Slowly I learnt to detach myself from the negative environment so that I could focus and do my job well.  As I focused on what a blessing I am to the people around me, God was able to use me to be a blessing to my bosses, my department and my colleagues. 

I saw God do more than I can imagine! I then realised that with God guiding my steps, I can go anywhere and do anything (Phil 4:13 says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me). God was leading me through a confidence building process as He prepares to bring me out to a new season when I cannot look to the past for answers but keeping my eyes focused on Jesus would cause me to soar like an eagle.

Friday, October 15, 2010

Of Dreams and Heart's Desires (Part I)

Did you ever have a longing or a desire that refuses to go away even after many years have come and passed? I guess many of us do dream big when we were much younger, when we were not battered by life's realities and storms. Sometimes we are afraid to dream because we want to be practical. Sometimes we thought those dreams we had were just wishful thinking and could never come to pass. Or for some people, they were not even taught to dream because no one has ever planted seeds of greatness in their hearts.

I was one of such people. Though I loved God a lot, I wasn't really in touch of the dreams and desires that the Creator of the Universe had put inside of me. Simply put, the dreams were latent. But God is good. He intervened in such a way that He had to pull us out from our old church environment and put us into this church to teach us to dream. Joel 8:28 records the Lord saying that your young men shall dream dreams, your old men shall see visions.  You may find it weird that we even needed to be taught to dream but sadly, this is true of many believers.  God placed my hubby and I in an environment where we dare to dream big dreams. A place where we can trust God for more. In His grace, He has surrounded us with people from whom we can learn, people who will encourage us to believe His word. And so, a journey of lifetime dreaming began for me and my household.

I liked to journal my spiritual journey with my Abba Father. I believe these journals will prove to be of great value to many people, especially my dear sisters in Christ. In 2008, as I was reading my journals, I realised that even before stepping into New Creation Church (NCC), God was already preparing to lead us out of my old church. In Aug 08, God was telling me about Isaiah 55:12 (You shall go out in joy and be led forth in peace), Romans 12:2 (renewing of our minds) and Psalm 113:9 (The Lord makes the barren woman a happy mother of children at home). In Oct 2008, when God showed me Isaiah 54:2 (enlarge your tents, stretch out your tent curtains), He was actually enlarging my vision and teaching me to expect more good things from Him. At that point, God had put a desire for me to stay home as a happy mother of children. Hence I already knew then that my stay in my current company is only temporal although I didn't know when God will bring me out.  That dream didn't go away for the past 2.5 years. I knew I could do more at home than at work. I knew I was called to raise champion kids and to bring up my children in the way of the Lord. Even when I got so tired (sometimes to the point of desperation) of waiting for God to bring me into my next season, God was still faithfully working behind the scenes to bring me out of this company.

What God did was to continue to enlarge our vision by putting us in an atmosphere of faith in NCC. We were taught to dream big under Pastor Prince's grace-based teachings. Little did I know that God was not just preparing for me to stay home, He was providing all the finances for me to stay home in style. That answered prayer came in the form of additional rental income from our HDB flat as we prepared to move into our condo which we just bought. That was God's masterpiece on the home front.

Developing a Healthy Self-image

Today I will be sharing excerpts from Joel Osteen's devotional:
(Daily Readings from 'Your Best Life Now')

It is about how we see ourselves and how we feel about ourselves. Every person has an image of himself or herself. Individuals who see themselves as how God sees them are usually happy about who they are. They know they have been created in God's image and He has crowned them with tremendous honour (Gen 1:26-27 and Psalm 8:4-5). They feel good about themselves because they know God loves them and He feels good about them!

My reflection from this devotional is this. Many a times at work or in life, there will be always be people who will be displeased with you or make you feel that you have missed the mark (by not meeting their expectations). It is so natural for us to feel condemned or discouraged by the negative things that people say or think about you. But that is not what God says about you. In times like these, we really got to do like Apostle Paul said in Romans 12:2, not conforming to the patterns of this world but to be transformed by the renewing our our minds. How do we renew our minds? By hearing and hearing the Word of Christ. You got to keep hearing what God says about you - that you are a champion, you are the apple of His eyes, you are God's beloved and you can hold your head up high and walk with confidence knowing that God loves you unconditionally. God knows it is important for us to feel good because when we feel good, then we will do good.  

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The Genesis

I have never considered myself as a person who would even want to blog since I am technophobia. Just take facebook for example. I was accused by my friends of not logging in to check the updates or even to accept friends... so why would I even want to blog?

The reason is simple. I feel that I have something to say, something worthwhile to share with the world. I envisage sharing bits of my life in this blog...things like motherhood, work, family, church etc.

Actually I have to thank one of my friends who encouraged me to find my voice and my style in the literary world, since I shared with her I have plans to write a book. I don't really know how my book would turn out to be...I told her I wanted to share my experiences as a working mother, my marriage, my faith in God, my ministry etc.