Other than preparing for us financially (so that I could stay home in style), God was also giving me clarity on my writing ministry. He knows I could be bored at home hence He also put this desire in me to be involved in ministry while at home. Just last year, God gave me a dream and a desire to write a book and to minister to the mothers all over the world.
At the work front, God was stretching me intellectually and emotionally. He was training me to be reliant on Him every step of my way. I had a very different portfolio that required me to plan and write policy papers. I was never good in writing and so I felt inadequate in my job oftentimes, yet I had to handle all the insecurities and depressive moods of colleagues around me. God is good. He gave me strength, wisdom and joy everyday. I had to learn to focus on His thoughts about me (that I am a champion, I have great value in His sight etc) and my strengths.
God told me just to rest and flow with Him, doing what He wants me to do. For example, I had tons of information to process to do my job well and I don't like to work late because of my family, hence I asked God to give me the wisdom to know the information I needed to know to do my job well. Slowly I learnt to gain clarity in my thought process and had a lot more rigour in the way I approach an issue.
I also became more emotionally independent, as in I was still emphatic to my colleagues' problems yet I was able to release the burden to God. In the past I would get very depressed and affected by the negative emotions of the people around me. Slowly I learnt to detach myself from the negative environment so that I could focus and do my job well. As I focused on what a blessing I am to the people around me, God was able to use me to be a blessing to my bosses, my department and my colleagues.
I saw God do more than I can imagine! I then realised that with God guiding my steps, I can go anywhere and do anything (Phil 4:13 says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me). God was leading me through a confidence building process as He prepares to bring me out to a new season when I cannot look to the past for answers but keeping my eyes focused on Jesus would cause me to soar like an eagle.
As a friend, i wish u all the best avin in your pursuit. Do continue to pen down ur thoughts. A blog doesn have to be one that always has to be happy and perky. It is good that u had also pen down some of your most intimate thoughts about your work and feelings.
ReplyDeleteI wish u all the best my friend. And it's good to see that u are literally out of your shell or cubicle..and venturing into an area where your heart lies....cos that's when u will do very well.
Best wishes. :-) and i shall continue to follow u on this journey as well