OUR RELATIONSHIP WITH ABBA GOD

Yesterday some of us were talking about how to develop a closer relationship with the Father, how to talk to Him etc. Of all the topics this one is probably my favourite, more so than dreams and visions or prophetic. Because this relationship with my Abba is my vital connection, my life force, without which everything else is moot. One sister was saying that she could picture herself walking very closely with Jesus but somehow was distant with the Father. Previously I didn’t give much thought to it. 

 

I thought the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are one so there wasn’t a need to split hairs to find out who I am speaking to. The three are interchangeable. But yesterday the Lord showed me that our relationship with God has everything to do with our inheritance. Heng also said how we see the Father has to do with how we receive from Him. It was true. 

 

I saw how when believers seemed not to have such a close relationship with the Father, they probably weren’t as emboldened to reach out for their blood-bought inheritance. Last night as I was praying to the Father, it dawned on me why most believers had no issue talking to Jesus. Though Jesus came to show us how our Father is like, it was still hard for believers who didn’t have a good relationship with their earthly fathers to imagine how good our Heavenly Father is. 

 

It was easier for us to relate to Jesus because He is our Saviour, He died for us on the cross and He is our great high priest in heaven, always making intercession on our behalf. As for the Father, some believers still had the image of the harsh and just God in the Old Testament even though we are now in a new covenant. The name that Jesus came to reveal about God is Abba, Daddy God. 

 

Well, it wasn’t difficult for me to see God as a loving Father. Whenever I am downcast or discouraged, I would imagine myself climbing onto his lap like a little girl and curl up in His presence. I would find strength and encouragement by just being in His presence, looking at His face. Nothing else in the world matters when I sit at His lap. I would feel so safe, so protected and so loved by my Father. I know I am always His beloved daughter. 

 

All this points to our identity, which God has been impressing me recently. Without being rooted in who we are in Christ, how we are God’s beloved children, we would not be able to inherit all that He has for us. Galatians 4:7 says this: ‘Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son, then an heir of God through Christ.‘ As sons of God, we are no more His servants but we are heirs of God through Christ. 

 

And we are mature sons of God, having come of age to inherit His possessions. This topic came up at this time because we are about to be launched into our ministries and about to possess our inheritance. We need to know that the Father is well pleased with us even before we did anything. His approval isn’t in our performance but we are the beloved, well accepted in Christ. It takes a David (whose name means Beloved) to kill a giant. 

 

When Jesus was baptised at River Jordan, God spoke from heaven and said: ‘This is my Beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.’ This was before Jesus even started his ministry on earth. God wanted Jesus to know He is well pleased with Jesus not because He was doing His will but because He was the Son. Similarly it is all about our identity in Christ, which is something the devil can never take away. It is in our blood when we are born again.

 

I understand for some believers who had harsh earthly fathers, it was hard to imagine themselves approaching God in this way. God is the righteous Judge, He is the Supreme One, so we have to approach Him with utmost reverence. That is correct but this Judge is also our loving Father. Some believers approach the Father in a solemn manner because this is how they approach their earthly fathers. But God wants us to approach the throne of grace with confidence to find help in times of need. (Hebrews 4:16)

 

I believe it is the Father’s heart to draw near to all His children at this time, more so than ever before. In the midst of the conflict and confusion happening in the world, there is a safe refuge in His presence. Everything will be ok in His presence. There is also joy in His presence. When we come to Him with tears in our eyes, He will wipe them away and replace our sorrow with joy. We will also gain His perspective after an encounter with Him. We will have the peace to know that He is still in control and all shall be well. 

 

Not only that, we will be strengthened in His presence, emboldened to do His will and stand on His word because we know His heart for His people. Many people know God’s ways but they don’t know His heart. They see His power through signs and wonders but they still don’t see His heart. But when you see the Father’s heart, even in the absence of such signs and wonders, you will know what He will do next. This is very important because you know the character of the Father, how He is like from your walk with Him. 

 

Personally I also observe that my disappointments and doubts are all directed at God, not Jesus. I know Jesus fully understands and knows what I am going through but as for whether God sees and understands, at times I couldn’t be sure. Or even if He saw how I suffered, I would then wonder why He didn’t deliver from that when it is all His power to do so. But God is so good. At times He allowed Himself to be grossly misunderstood by His people in order to achieve a greater purpose. And I saw how it was me who limited Him, not God. 

 

But at the end of it, when I looked back, I would realise that He wasn’t just standing by the side, watching me suffer. He was right there in my suffering, like the fourth men standing with the three Hebrew teenagers in the fiery furnace. He was always there even when I didn’t sense His presence or when He was silent. Even when I don’t see it, He is still working behind the scenes, causing all things to work for my good. When He finally did the great reveal, I would always be in awe and repent that I had misunderstood Him. 

 

Suffering and pain is very real. But in the midst of it, many people think God has left them alone. He has forgotten them or turned His face away from our sufferings. Or that God no longer loves them. But this is far from the truth! We should never judge God’s love for us by our circumstances but on what Christ has done on the cross. That is already the greatest demonstration of God’s love for us. If He did not withhold His only begotten Son but sent Jesus to die for us, why would He withhold anything else from us? 

 

And so, what my own journey in the wilderness taught me is this: never judge God’s love for us by our circumstances. He has not forgotten about you in the wilderness. He is there walking with you every single step of the way. Remember how He was with the Israelites through a pillar of fire by night and pillar of cloud by day in the harsh wilderness. It was only when they crossed over to the promised land that the pillar of fire and cloud was no longer there. Instead they were told to follow the small ark of the covenant, which is a representation of Jesus. 

 

Beloved, it is not surprising that the enemy will keep trying to attack our relationship with our Father because he doesn’t want us to inherit our inheritance. The enemy will always try to cause our trust in our Father to be shaken. He will cast doubts on the absolute goodness of God. He will make us think that we are forsaken, like orphans, left to fend for ourselves. But in Christ, God will never leave us or forsake. The sun is still shining even when dark clouds cover our skies. 

 

Even for me, someone who has no problem picturing God as my loving Father, at times I would still be shaken in my trust of God. But God doesn’t hold it against me. He totally understands what I went through because Jesus already walked through it. I have learnt that in times of suffering and pain, seeking an answer from the Lord didn’t help. It wasn’t what I needed to hear. What I needed most is to be assured of the Father’s great love towards me and to just hide in His presence. It was His love and presence that carried me through the tough years of wilderness. Nothing else could. 

FINALLY PAID OFF CAR LOAN

Thank God for we finally paid off our car loan yesterday! The Holy Spirit prompted me to review the excitement over buying our BMW in Aug 2015. I didn’t even know that there was a mini recession at the end of 2015 and beginning of 2016. At the point of purchase we just knew that God wanted us to sow in a time of famine because the car plate number in Strong’s Greek concordance meant a hundredfold. It reminded us of Genesis 26:12. Isaac sowed in the land during a time of famine and reaped a hundredfold.  

The economic conditions in that year weren’t that good as there were speculations of going into a recession in 2016. But thank God it was only a mild recession. But back then we weren't holding back our purchase in view of a possible recession or crash in the economy. We didn't plan for that. We knew we were not confined to the world's economy but God's economy. People around us might think we were irrational to commit to such a huge purchase in such a gloomy economic outlook. But we weren't operating out of fear but out of faith in a big God. 

 

However there was a strain on our finances in 2016. We thought about selling the BMW to buy a cheaper car. We even went for a test drive for another car in Feb 2016. After that test drive, Heng was convinced that he was settling for second best if he sold our BMW. It was a faith lesson for us. What God ordered, He would pay for it. We decided to trust the Lord to provide the finances for our car though the enemy was attacking our finances ever since we bought this car. 

 

At one point, Heng thought about leaving his previous company in Jul 2016. I didn’t want him to be held back by the car loan instalments. So I told him that I was fine to sell our BMW if there was a need to downgrade should he quit his job. I had no issue with that. A car is a car. We didn’t want to be a slave to our car. Our finances got hit more badly in 2017 during the time when Heng was in between jobs. But thank God for seeing us through the lean times.

 

To be honest, there were many times in the past five years when I found coughing up the  car loan payments a stretch. I couldn’t understand why God led us to this purchase when it would stretch our finances this much. Wouldn’t we be better off if we settled for a cheaper car? Yet it was a faith test for us. God just wanted us to teach us how to sow a seed in the time of famine. 

 

That time what we couldn’t be sure was whether it was our vain desire to drive a luxury car or it was really the will of God. But we could not deny the great joy that owning this BMW gave us. We felt so loved by God when this luxury car dream was fulfilled. Like nothing was impossible for God. Yet when the attacks on finances and opposition came, we were tempted to sell the car, so as to have a more comfortable budget to work with. 

 

Well the fact that we made it through those lean years and that we finally managed to pay off the loan was testament to God’s faithfulness and goodness in our lives. It can only be God. If not, we would have already sold off the car many times. Though it was really tough at times, we gritted our teeth and pressed through, trusting that God would provide. That was really a faith journey. 

 

We have come to the end of the loan repayment and the economy is really in a big recession right now. Nobody knows how long this pandemic would last or when the economy would recover. In an uncertain climate where jobs are no longer secure or when there could be pay cuts, we are really thankful that we are released of such debt obligations. Not only that we learnt how God could really prosper us in a time of famine. 

 

Last night before I slept, I was still pondering upon the release of car loan obligations. I could not believe that the amount we paid for this car was enough to buy a Housing Development Board flat! Unbelievable! I was still wondering if we could have made better use of this money but that was all water under the bridge. 

 

The thing was not about whether we made a mistake in buying this BMW. It was about God’s goodness and faithfulness in our lives. So many times we thought of selling the car but God didn’t allow it to happen. Though it was tough at times, God gave us grace to see us through and provided us with the finances. We didn’t care about our reputation but God protected our reputation. After all it was His reputation at stake. 

 

Heng said that we finally crossed the finishing line! I believe in those lean years, God was also teaching me about financial planning. If we were never stretched in our finances, I wouldn’t have learnt to exercise financial discipline and live simply within our means. We might have gotten used to a lifestyle of spending what we earned. I might never have thought about how to invest to make our money work harder for us. So God works all things out for our good. 

 

I still feel that there are more nuggets to glean from this faith lesson. Something about sowing a seed in a time of famine. My question is whether we have reaped a hundredfold from sowing that seed in Aug 2015. God could be telling us that our harvest has now arrived after paying off our car loan. God could be testing us to see if we would hold on to His word all these years. If we didn’t give up, the seed would yield its increase. 

 

God could also be showing us how when we sowed a seed in famine, He would protect our seed and not let the enemy rob us of the harvest. In a way our seed is like the BMW. The enemy had tempted us to dig up all the seeds and eat it during those lean times. But if we ate that seed, there would not be a harvest later on. God is good to let us eat a part of the seed (through the enjoyment of the BMW) and sow a part for future harvest.   

Secure in God's Love

On Saturday, we celebrated my dad's birthday and at the restaurant, my youngest brother said he bought something for Aloysius, Joshua's cousin. It was a box of big lego blocks. Actually he bought an extra set to put in my mum's place so that the two boys would not quarrel over one box (I cannot understand why kids cannot share!) But when Joshua heard that the present was for Aloysius only and he had none, I could see that he was disappointed. Yet he did not ask 'What about me?' Then we explained that the present was for both of them to share and play in Grandma's house. He felt better.

Last night we were having dinner at my in-laws' place. My brother-in-law had just bought his son an iPad 2 which cost $600 and they brought it over to play. My mother-in-law was really nice...she kept asking if we wanted to buy an iPad for Joshua as she could sponsor the gift. But I politely declined for I said there was really no need for him to play with an iPad. I was concerned that Joshua would also ask for an iPad 2 since his cousin had one. My brother-in-law even told Joshua to ask Daddy to buy a similar one for him.

But I was surprised with Joshua's reaction. He did not seem so interested in the iPad and he did not ask to buy one. Though he liked to watch YouTube and play games in my iPhone, he did not say he wanted the iPad. I asked him whether he is envious of his cousin having an iPad, he said no. I was not convinced that he was not attracted to the iPad so I asked if he needed to buy one, he said no need. Wow! I was amazed because usually for kids of his age (5 years plus) they will want to have what others have.

I really thank God that He made Joshua so secure in His love. Joshua is not easily envious or jealous because other kids have toys that he don't. He knows he is already very blessed by the Lord and understands that his parents will not withhold good things from him. He is really set apart for the Lord and it shows in his character even at such a young age. This is taught by the Lord Himself...I cannot claim any credit for it. All glory to Jesus!

A Tribute to Whitney Houston!

I felt that I needed to blog about the passing of Whitney Houston because this news evoked much emotions in my heart. Firstly, I hold high regards for Whitney Houston as a singer because she really have a great voice. I still remember her songs 'I Will Always Love You' and 'Run to You' from the movie "The Bodyguard" and many other wonderful songs.

Secondly, I realised that her death was probably a result of her tumultous personal life and her addiction to drugs. Like Elvis Presley, it was again another glorious life cut short because of drugs. Then I found out that her mum was a gospel singer and Whitney Houston was destined for greatness, having born in a musical family and a voice that touches men's hearts. I not only thought of how God has gifted her with such a great voice, I also believed God has given her a great divine destiny. She was probably meant to sing for God just like her mum.

Anyway, I believed she hit rock bottom last year when she not only lost her gift (her great voice), she had to go for drug rehabitation. Yet God is so good. The last song she sang the day before she died was "Jesus Loves Me'. It was like God reminding her that no matter how far she wandered, how much she had fallen, Jesus still loves her and will always love her. The epic song that she sang (I Will Always Love You) was actually God's love song to her! Well, I am sure that Whitney Houston is now in the loving hands of Jesus in heaven right now. She will be always remembered as the queen of pop, soul, rock and classical here on earth.

心中的花园 (Ideal Garden)

好久没给大家介绍好听的歌曲。最近我看了一部偶像剧‘美乐加油’。剧情描述一位女孩名叫美乐。她是一个非常讨人喜爱的女孩。因为她非常能干并且热心助人。从小父母离婚，美乐的妈妈就对她说，长大后一定要做个有用的人才会有人要。与是，美乐很努力地做个有用的人，但她总是为着别人而活，忘了为自己而活。美乐甚至连自己的喜好和梦想是什么也不知晓。后来她认识了一名男生叫以烈。他简直是美乐的相反，如果美乐是天使，以烈就是恶魔。他们从冤家变情侣。以烈教美乐如何去发觉自己想要的人生，为自己而活。美乐却教了以烈如何去爱，也用她的真诚与爱心容化了以烈冰冻的心。这首歌是以烈写给美乐的歌‘新中的花园’：

喜欢看你傻傻的表情

好像全世界都很平静

或许是老天爷特别地疼你

果然爱情悄悄地降陵

这种快乐并不必怀疑

或许你只需要睁大眼睛

用心地体会 这种美好的滋味

有一天你会真的了解

*多么希望幸福在你身边

看你的爱情有个完美句点

再给我一点时间 要绘出一个画面

是你转身微笑的侧脸

多么希望祝福围绕你身边

像许多白鹤飞舞的蓝天

让你追逐的世界 变得那么切确

慢慢画着心中的花园*

Repeat**

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7yunS7sZis&feature=related

当我听到这首歌，我感动地哭了。我感受到天父对我的爱，尤其是那句‘可能是老天爷特别的疼你’，因为我知道我的天父特别的疼我。也因为有了祂的爱，我觉得幸福在身边，我的爱情有个完美句点。祝福总是围绕我身边，我的世界像许多白鹤飞舞的蓝天。对莫些人而言，这简直不切实际，但耶和华总是让我追逐的世界 变得那么切确。我心中的花园就是当初亚当与夏娃的伊甸园，因为在那里，他们可以天天与耶和华彼此相通。这就是人间天堂。

Called to be different!

In Oct 2008, God showed me His Word in Romans 12:2 'Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.' I did not fully understand what God meant but I knew that He was bringing me through a process of change. Around the same period, He also showed me Isaiah 54:2 'Enlarge the place of your tent, and let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings; do not spare, lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes.' This verse greatly excited me because I knew God was enlarging my vision.

When we started attending New Creation Church in Nov 2008, the process of transformation began. Then we came to a point when we needed to make a decision for we heard God saying to us like He did to Abram in Genesis 12:1-2 'Get out of your country, from your family and from your father's house, to a land that I will show you. I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing.' It was tough making that decision to leave our old church, our friends and all our growing-up memories. Yet it was the love of God that compelled us to move on to a new place where we practically knew no one and we had to start all over again. We did not even have a care group then.

But after 3 years in NCC, I must testify that God is so good to us. He never calls us to leave something without the intention of giving us something better. But we must make a decision to let go of our past for God is always doing something new. God gave us spirit-filled and like-minded brothers and sisters in our caregroup in NCC. He gave us a new family, people who really cared for us and whom we cared about. Not only that, we could feed on the teachings of Christ by our beloved Pastor every week. We loved the worship, the sermon and the leaders in the church.

I never knew that God was setting us apart by calling us into this church. In the process of renewing our minds, He also enlarged our visions. He taught us to dream big dreams and pray bold prayers. Slowly, we just began to separate from the crowd. I did not fully feel the effect of this change until recently. I thought it was because I stayed home for too long that I could not really connect with the outside world. I actually felt rather cut-off from my old friends & colleagues because my main connection was with God, then with Heng, then with my caregroup brethen.

But God opened my eyes to see that some friends are with us for a season. There is nothing bad or disloyal about moving on and leaving our past behind. As Pastor Joel explained, some friends are like 'scaffolding'. God put these friends for a period of our lives to minister to us but at some point we grow and move on. If we continue to hold on to these friendships, we might be held back from our divine destinies. So we have to learn to understand these changes in seasons in our life and move on.

I always pride myself as someone who could talk to anyone about almost anything. Yet recently I find that the topics I used to talk about no longer interest me as much. I felt energised only if I could share God's Word, the goodness of God, the love of Jesus or testimonies of God's glory. But not everyone could share in this excitement with me (thank God I still have a group of brothers and sisters I could relate to). Hence, slowly I found that I do not share many common topics with them and I cannot relate to them as much as before. The more we knew about the gospel of grace, the more distant we grew from our old friends and even our family members.

For a while I really felt sad because I loved my friends and I did not want to drift away from them. But when I saw that this was all part of God's good plan, I was at peace and relieved that I am not the oddball. God opened my eyes to see that I should rejoice because the transformation of my mind has yielded results. This is the right path in God's plan to increase our greatness. He has begun to separate us from the world in the area of our beliefs and thinking.

And in the process, we may feel lonely and think that we are in the minority. God showed me that with Him on my side, we are the majority. I did not realise that I was called to be different until now. And being different takes courage because the world wants people to conform, to be similar to them. Friends like you when you are similar to them but when you become different, they start to feel uncomfortable before you and think that you have changed.

I have a choice: to go back to where I was before or to keep moving forward with God as He takes me to scale greater heights. The choice is obvious. I will surely move forward on the path to greatness for He has called me and set me apart! All glory to Jesus!

很安静

有一部台湾偶像剧‘桃花小妹’的故事真的很单纯，很可爱。故事描述了一名叫桃花的女子爱上了一名叫史郎的男生。桃花背着四个反对这恋情的哥哥，不顾一切，勇敢地追求她的挚爱。反而是史郎犹豫不决，不敢接受桃花的爱。但他始终还是被桃花感动了，并接受桃花的爱。

剧里有一首歌让我非常难忘。这首歌就是飞轮海 (Fahrenheit)的‘很安静’：

要说的多动听   才能证明      最亲密的关系

云绕着天空     什么也没讲     已是最美好的约定

要说的多华丽      才能说出最默契的默契

我在你身边     呼吸都沉默      你却懂我每个情绪

这世界太热闹     怎么倾听    一颗心呼唤另一颗的声音

这世界再热闹     还好我们    刚好在这里    刚好很安静

Love you, love you

要说的多肯定     才能肯定两个人的心情

风遇上风筝    还没有邀请     已经一起愉快旅行

要说的多用力    才能留下最坚定的决定

每一个路口      你不用开口      我已经重合你脚印

这世界太热闹     怎么倾听    一颗心呼唤另一颗的声音

这世界再热闹     还好我们    刚好在这里    刚好很安静

所有感受不用形容      已经那么懂

所有的感动是安静的心动

这世界再热闹     也没关系     每一个眼神我们就能感应

这世界再热闹     我们已经    在彼此心里所以很安静

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXy_-ClaIQc&feature=related

这首歌的词写得真漂亮！它描述了我和耶稣之间的关系。我在耶稣身边，呼吸都沉默，但祂却懂我每个情绪。这世界真的很热闹，但每天还是有人觉得很孤单。生活过的忙忙碌碌，叫我们怎么倾听一颗心呼唤另一颗的声音，尤其是耶稣呼唤我们的声音？对我而言，这世界再热闹，还好我在这里，安静的聆听祂对我说的每一句话。我所有的感受不用形容，祂也已经那么懂，我所有的感动都是安静的心动。这世界再热闹，也没关系，因为我们已经在彼此心里住下来，所以很安静。

默默的爱

前阵子又有一首歌深深的感动了我。它让我想起天父对我默默的爱。这首歌就是飞轮海 (Fahrenheit)的‘默默’：

这是一个没有答案的问题

我感觉我变了    谁让我变了

原本这是一个没有答案的问题

却被你解开了     简单的解开了

你走过来     带着和别人不同的对白

你甚至不让我知道       你对我有多好

*慢慢的这份爱    悄悄地住下来

深深的   在心里   没人看的出来

安静的    但却一直都在

是你   默默的爱

慢慢的这份爱    已经变成依赖

浅浅的   笑容里   却让我充满期待

不用说    我就能够明白

你默默的爱*

未来的每一天     不管发生什么

能不能交给我吧

我要永远陪着你

守护着你直到最后

重复**

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0un0_9JV9U&feature=related

我觉得如同歌词所形容的…我感觉我变了。是神的爱让我变了。祂总是在我最无助时给了我简单的答案，而祂的对白总是与别人不同。神的爱在我心里深深的住了下来。祂的爱是不喧哗或夸张的；而是一份安静与默默的爱。这份爱已经慢慢的变成我的依赖，正如约 翰 一 书第四章十六节所写的‘神对我们的爱，我们已经明白了，而且相信了。’我每天所期待的是看到天父的笑容。而即使祂不说，我也能够明白祂对我默默的爱。我是多么的被宠爱！

这就是爱

对一些人而言，罗曼蒂克的爱是一种奢侈；是不切实际；是幼稚与愚昧的事。即使我有过一段甜蜜的恋情，我曾经也是这样想。谈恋爱这事，不就是专属年轻人的特权吗？但我就是这样幸福。因为神让我在度深深体验恋爱的感受。已婚十年的我本来不敢渴望这种罗曼蒂克的爱。相信很多情侣都是这样：啪托的时候总是甜蜜与激烈的，但结了婚后，随着时间的流逝，孩子的到来，生活的担忧，两人的情感已不如往日。我原本以为这是理所当然的，但就因为我体验了耶稣对我的爱，我渐渐地发现其实这不是神的旨意。祂是希望我们能够再度享受啪托时那罗曼蒂克的感觉。

最近我又听到一首歌词优美的歌：王心凌的“这就是爱”，所以想跟大家分享。

漂流在爱情的海域　你我也曾有过伤心
因为相信让两颗心贴近了距离

当我靠在你的怀里　所有话题都是多余
眼前的风景都是你给我的美丽

月影遥　天都亮了　星星睡不着
我在你耳边轻轻唱着　你笑了

Oh 爱　两颗星星一片海
牵着的手都明白　再也离不开
Oh 爱    轻轻飘進我心海
你是甜蜜的意外　我却逃不开 Oh 爱

当我靠在你的怀里　所有话题都是多余
眼前的风景都是你给我的美丽

月阴了　天都亮了　星星睡不着
我在你耳边轻轻唱着　你笑了

Oh 爱　两颗星星一片海
牵着的手都明白　再也离不开
Oh 爱    轻轻飘进我心海
你是甜蜜的意外　我却逃不开 Oh 爱

开始不懂爱　到现在才明白
恋爱中的人都像個小孩
情愿被宠坏　每一天都充满期待　这就是爱

Oh 爱　两颗星星一片海
牵着的手都明白　再也离不开
Oh 爱    轻轻飘进我心海
你是甜蜜的意外　我却逃不开 Oh 爱
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlcxW8I5IdI

不知道为什么这首歌深深的吸引我。可能是它表达了我对爱的想法。因为爱会让人伤心，让人脆弱，让人像个小孩，所以恋爱是可遇不可求的。可是，一旦爱飘进你心海，你就是逃不开。歌词写着‘情愿被宠坏，每一天都充满期待，这就是爱’但对我而言，神就是爱。不是我们爱神，而是神爱我们，差遣他的儿子为我们的罪作了赎罪祭，这就是爱（约翰一书第四章第十节）。

等待的秘诀

曾听过有人说：‘不知道真正的幸福是什么时候降临。人们往往在流逝中看见瞬间，而那一刻是最真实的。’人是矛盾的动物。当你在等待某件事实现或某个人到来的当儿，你的注意力全都放在这件事上。在等待的过程中，往往会产生强烈的感受。无论是不耐烦，愤怒，无奈或者失落，大多数都是不愉快的感受。

我原本是个天生急躁的人，不擅长等待。但是，神在这等待的过程教了我一个宝贵的道理。毕竟在这人生的路途中少不了等待，与其辛苦地等，不如享受这过程，并从中吸取宝贵的经验。对我而言，能够享受等待过程的秘诀是：放手，并陶醉在耶稣的爱河里。这个道理一点都不深澳，但却不容易实践。

当我体验到耶稣对我的爱时，我感觉到无比幸福。在我的世界里，只容得下我和我的爱人，其他的人或事都变得不重要了。多么希望时间能停留，让这么美好的一刻变成无尽的永恒，让我永远活在这甜蜜的意境。我不希望当真正幸福降临时，却有所不知，更不想只在时间的流逝中看到瞬间。

Hooked on love

Recently I came across a few songs by Fahrenheit (a popular Taiwanese group) that are very nice in melody and meaningful in lyrics. I liked them so much that I put the songs on my previous blog posts. I apologise for my English-speaking audience that I posted them in Chinese and did not offer any translation. The reason I kept them in Chinese was that these songs were better expressed in Chinese and any translation would dilute its original meaning.

In summary, I just wanted to share that these are all love songs. Even though they are all commercial pop songs, I could actually feel Jesus' love and His protection over me through the songs. I felt so pampered by His love. That was why I got lost in this romantic love. It is really beautiful. I felt that I am slowly being changed by His love. I also realised why I did not indulge myself in this love before. It could be the fear of being too obsessed with this love, fear of being so reliant on His love and becoming so vulnerable, fear of being rejected should He find out that I am actually not loveable, fear of being so childish and inward-looking.

But now I know these are all lies. The truth is, when you really experience His love intimately, when you cast yourself totally to His love, enjoy intimacy with Him and let him love you extravagantly, you cannot help but be transformed in glory. Indeed love makes one feel like a small girl and though I know I am spoilt by His love, I am still looking forward to more of His love. For the first time in my life, I decided to be 'selfish' for once and allow myself to be loved indulgently by my Lord. 1 John 4:16 says 'And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.' I don't rely on my love for Him because it goes up and down all the time. But I know I can surely count on His love for me, especially during difficult and confusing times in my life.

This love of God has slowly come to stay in my heart; deep in my heart where no one could see it. Yet it has always been there. This love has caused me to be so reliant on God. I longed to see God smile, to see Him happy and excited. Even if God does not say a word, I can still understand His quiet love for me. I am truly blessed to know this everlasting love of God. My friend, have you known His love intimately?

A Tribute to Steve Jobs

The passing of Steve Jobs is truly a loss to the world. Here is a man whose creative work has a tremendous impact on how people think, feel and live their lives. You could say that his work revolutionised the way people live, which is magnificent. I am not sure if he was a believer but he is certainly God's gift to this world.

What Steve Job said at the 2005 Stanford Commencement Address really ministered to me. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=UF8uR6Z6KLc) He shared three stories which talked about the high and low points of his life and his values.

His first story was about connecting the dots. He said you cannot connect the dots by looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. This is really so true for me. When you are going through a seemingly senseless trial in your life, it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward. It was only when I recently reflected on my life for the past few years that I could see what God was doing. Even now, sometimes I do not fully understand what I am going through or why God tells me to do certain things but I trust that the dots will somehow connect in my future. Everything God allowed you to go through is for a good purpose and it would never go to waste.

His second story is about love and loss. He said you've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. The only thing that kept me going on was the love of writing and the thought that somehow someone in this world would be blessed by my sharing. I loved to put into words what I think or feel and see the satisfaction of a finished work. Can you imagine how pleased and satisfied God was with the finished work of His Son: the Masterpiece amongst masterpieces!

His third story is about death. Remembering that he will be dead soon is the most important tool he has ever encountered to help him make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure — these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. To him, that is the best way he knows to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. I agree with him that we should not let the noise of others' opinions drown out our own inner voice. And most importantly, we should have the courage to follow our heart and intuition (no matter how bizarre it is). After all, these desires come from our Father. God placed such intuition in your heart to guide you to what you truly want to become. Everything else becomes secondary.

心疼你的心疼

前天我又看了另一个飞轮海 (Fahrenheit)的music video＂心疼你的心疼＂，觉得超爱它的旋律与歌词, 所以想与大家分享。

总是在夜深人静想一个人
你留给我的回忆  映着月光更深刻
如果说后悔可以杀一个人
我已经为你死掉  多少次了呢
合唱 （chorus）:

你的泪痕  你默默忍耐过的寒冷
我现在才懂得

心疼你的心疼  想紧紧把你抱着
去弥补从前所有不完整
让我让你快乐   为你的微笑负
责承诺过的未来还在等  等我们的爱重生

时间是一道不能反锁的门
那时的年少轻狂  如今想来多惨忍
只不过这世上没有一本
能够教我们如何 相爱的手册

重复合唱 （chorus）

http://youtube.com/watch?v=pz3TZ0ZM3TA

这首歌让我发现到当一名男生深爱着女生时，他会超想带给心爱的人快乐于微笑。他也会心疼女生的心疼。总觉得身为女生是幸福的，因为女生是被男生呵护和心疼的对象，就像我被天父心疼一样。对祂而言，我的快乐就是祂的快乐，我的心痛是祂的心痛。祂是如此的心疼我。而我的泪痕，我默默忍耐过的寒冷，祂一直都懂得。但不像世人，祂真正有能力弥补我从前所有的痛失。

歌词里写着这世上没有一本能够教我们如何相爱的手册，但我不以为然。其实，这本手册就是圣经。圣经其实是一本情书；是我们的天父写给我们的情书。书里包含了天父与耶稣对我们的爱，它也教我们如何去爱。圣经说：我们爱因为神先爱我们。对我而言，是天父深深爱着我才给我这能力去爱别人。