Some time ago I was pondering upon certain things that people said regarding their past failures. They were asking themselves, which part of it was their responsibility and which part was God’s. Have they missed God? Why did God set them up for failure? If God already knew that the venture would not work, why tell them to do it anyway? It was incredulous to think that God will set anyone up for failure. Well, that depends on how we see failure. Our failure to God is not failure, it is fermentation.
Such experiences served the purpose of changing us from one state to another. God had to deal with our impurities and much of our flesh, the old man inside us before He could do a great work to us. Before He could bring us to the palace or put us in prominent positions. We had to be prepared in our hearts that when we faced our transgressors, that we still could have compassion on them, rather than to take revenge since we are in a position of power.
Not many people went through as many failures as Joseph did in his life. And these were not mistakes of his making. Not intentionally anyway. Yet God used these painful experiences to build his character which was able to withstand the temptations of being in high position. In the end God restored more than double back to Joseph. He came to a place where he could see how others meant it for harm, but God turned it out for good. And everything that happened was all part of God’s plan.
Well, Joseph could blame God for not protecting him from being sold as a slave to Egypt. But he didn’t. Even while he was being favoured in Potiphar’s house, he still had the fear of God to not commit adultery. He could have just done it, having cared less since this God that he served didn’t even stop the bad thing from happening to him. But Joseph was still honouring God in spite of his circumstances. He knew that the Lord’s presence was with him hence he was prospering.
Once again Joseph could blame God for not justifying him before Potiphar. Or angry with Potiphar for not standing up for Joseph when he probably knew the truth. There in the cold prison cell, he probably wondered why he had to suffer when he did nothing wrong. It was all so unfair. But yet he did not give up his faith in God. He kept a good attitude and God caused him to prosper even in prison. How amazing can that be! When he interpreted the chief baker and chief butler’s dreams, he was again forgotten by them.
He probably thought the opportunity had come for him to be restored to freedom and vindicated but who knew he had to wait another 2 more years? Well, it was only on hindsight that we can see it was all according to God’s timing. If he had been released 2 years ago, he wouldn’t be in position to interpret Pharaoh’s dreams. He would have missed the opportunity to become the prime minister of Egypt. But more importantly God’s plan of raising Joseph up to store up grain to prepare for the coming famine would probably not happen.
Which was why I now begin to understand more that these seeming ‘failures’ in our lives were all part of God’s plan. It wasn’t that we missed God or failed because we didn’t obey Him. We wondered why we stepped out in faith many times only to fall flat on our faces. Perhaps our ultimate ‘failure’ was our inability to understand God’s timing for our lives. Or that the right connections were still not in place yet. But if we are honest, we did see a measure of success in the venture God told us to do at first.
Think back to the experiences and anointing God has given all of us. They blessed and helped us but in most cases they were only a forerunner or first fruits of the Lord’s full intention. This is not a matter of failure on our part. Nor is this a matter of not fulfilling an assignment. Rather, it is a matter of the fullness of God’s timing. Just as Elisha told the Shunammite woman to leave and come back at the right time, God is now bringing us back to those experiences. Or bringing those experiences back to us. Why now? Because now is the fullness of time. Now is the time of full harvest.
So yes, I felt so heartened knowing that it was a matter of God’s timing, not a matter of me not fulfilling my assignment. Because all I wanted to know is if I had obeyed the Lord as I did not want to miss His voice when He told me to step out to do something. The important thing is that I need to do my part. As for the outcome, I have no control over but just to entrust it to Him. Whether it succeeds or fails it is not my responsibility at all. It is His. All I wanted was to cooperate with Him to close each chapter of my life well. To finish well and move on.
I may not understand why that season didn’t work out the way I expected but I still trust that God will work all things out for my good. And at the right time, He may choose to show me the big picture. If not, it is ok. I still trust Him. The past is no more but what I don’t want to do is to miss the time of His visitation now. The kairos moment. The fullness of His timing. I don’t want to be so bitter or hopeless or bruised that I don’t dare to try again. To dream again, to hope again when He comes to tell me to fan into flames those dead dreams in my life.
I want to be in position when He calls. I want to receive the fullness of whatever He has prepared for my life. I want to lay aside all those disappointments and heartaches in those years. I want to let Him heal me of my soul wounds. I want to be made whole again. I want to be restored to a childlike faith in Him. I want to believe that He has come in the fullness of time to bring to pass those dead dreams. To give me resurrection life. And I know that this time, I will not be disappointed because the fullness of time has come. Yes, it has truly come.
