WHAT FINANCIAL FREEDOM MEANT FOR ME

I was reading the book ‘The Abundance Code’ from Julie Ann Cairns and I just wanted to do some reflections. Before that I thought of bringing out some good points the author mentioned. The money myth is that work = worth. You have to work hard for your money. So the prospect of risking our hard-earned money on a venture can easily fill us with a sense of anxiety and fatigue. Because if we lose the money, the only way to get those funds back is by working hard.  

The idea of working hard for money is not a bad one but we can fall into the trap of thinking that money which comes easily is somehow dishonest. That could be akin to cheating or pure gambling. We don’t want our minds to be closed and reject an easier path to wealth creation. If you make a lot of money relatively easily, without working hard for it, then the question of whether of not you deserve it will be raised. 

 

Others may be critical of you and they may feel that you don’t deserve financial freedom without working hard for it. You may even feel that you don’t deserve it. It can be quite tempting to stay where you are and not upset the beliefs, knowing that the beliefs and judgements of others can have a powerful effect on you. If you want to be different from the rest, you need courage to get to a place psychologically where you can handle being different. 

 

This was what happened to me. In fact when I came out of the rat race at age 36, I was financially free in a way. We had a good rental income while my personal expenses was way below that income. Granted that though Heng wasn’t earning that much back in those days, we were still quite comfortable compared to many families with only one breadwinner. Of course my decision to quit and stay home wasn’t well-received. 

 

Many people including my own parents felt it was such a waste for me to stay home after going through university education. My own brother even compared my job to a maid. My previous boss and colleagues all felt that I might regret my decision as I gave up a good career path. Some people probably felt I was lazy and selfish, enjoying my life while my hubby was slogging at work. 

 

Well, you see, after I resigned, I was very happy for a while. It was a huge relief not having to work and not facing deadlines. Plus the freedom to spend as much time with God as I liked. It was heaven on earth. But after a while I became bored and I needed to find some sense of significance and contribution to society. I knew the value of spending more time with Joshua but deep down I kept wondering if I could do more than just that. 

 

Besides back in those days there weren’t that many stay-home mums like me. And at times I also wondered if I should go back to the workforce. While I was swimming in the pool, enjoying the leisurely afternoon, many times I questioned: Was it right for me to live the good life? Did I deserve such a good life while others are slogging away? I couldn’t even accept luxury gifts from Heng because I didn’t feel like I worked hard for it. 

 

You see, I used to be so stingy about spending money on myself. After 15 years of working, I finally convinced myself to buy an LV bag as a reward. You can imagine how guilty I felt when I received those luxury goods without working for them. God had to show me what is true grace. This goes against the grain of what I believe. In the past I will feel more satisfied about what I had achieved if I had to work hard for it. 

 

This sense of satisfaction applies to things I do for money and things I put effort to even if I don’t get paid. I used to attach my personal sense of significance and worth to what I do for work and how hard I have worked for something. But after a season of practically doing nothing, I had learnt to put my self-worth in my identity and not what I do for a living. God told me that even if I do nothing, I am still His beloved daughter. He is still proud of me. 

 

The author had a similar experience as mine. She quit her high paying job in a top bank at the peak of her career because she wanted to disconnect from the time = money equation. She didn’t want to commit herself to a life on the hamster wheel. Of course she faced much criticism from her family and friends. They felt like she was making a stupid mistake by quitting. 

 

This was exactly what I faced when I announced my decision to quit, even though the reason was to stay home for my son. Well the fact is we both know this: even if a job didn’t feel quite the right thing for you, time can just get chewed up in the daily grind. You get up, go to work, come home, fix dinner, do some housework, watch some TV then go to bed. You go to church, catch up with friends on the weekends, go for holidays and before you know it, a few years passed. Nothing much has changed in your life. 

 

It was exactly what happened to me. I knew my last workplace was a transitional place as early as Oct 2008 but it wasn’t time for me to leave yet. Then life happened. We changed church, CG, got caught up with parenting Joshua and settled into a routine. It was only because of the shaking, the re-org in my company that pushed me out of that nest. At one point I even tried to convince myself that my new season had started in that place. I was becoming delusional because I couldn’t see a way out of my stuck situation. 

 

That was why God pulled me out of work for three weeks to speak to me at length and give me clarity over my next season. I didn’t want to just get stuck in that pattern. I knew I had to break myself out of that endless cycle. It had been almost two years since I had the strong desire to leave the company. So I quit. But thank God for providing us with the rental income before I quit. He made it easy for me to take that step. 

 

Well, like the author described, initially it was fun and she loved it. But what came up emotionally as the weeks turned into months and months was something unexpected. Giving up my sense of significance and contribution for such an extended period of time, with nothing really concrete on the horizon, was actually very challenging for me. Soon I was facing a mid-life crisis. What was I doing with my life? Was I idling it away? The whole world seemed to be passing me by.

 

Well, looking back I was glad I did it. I never regretted this decision. It was an important season of reflection for me. I couldn’t continue working in the corporate world, and I had to do things differently moving forward if I wanted to get ahead as much in the next season. Yet at times I felt like a ship without a compass. I couldn’t really see the next step, let alone God’s plan for my life. All I looked forward to in those early years were family holidays, which were a break from the mundane and routine. 

 

And yes the questions other people ask like what do you work as are awkward for me. In some way it became a dreaded one because I was concerned about how people looked at me back in those days. Thank God I am much better now. But yes deep down I still do care about what people think. After a decade I am used to the look on these people’s faces.

 

Well, now that I have found my purpose and calling in life, I am no longer lost for direction. Besides my self worth doesn’t come from what I do but who I am. Yet God knows my need for a sense of significance or purpose in my life. So He had been preparing me for this ministry in the past decade. I must say it did boost my confidence as I felt more fulfilled doing something bigger than myself or my family. 

 

Back to the question about do you believe you deserve to be financially free. Do you feel worthy of it. Do you feel it in the core of your being. Because if you don’t, then most likely you won’t have it. If you are planning to have a paradigm shift about God’s grace, to escape the rat race and attain financial freedom, then pay attention to the way in which you derive your sense of significance and contribution. That would also determine if the shift would be permanent or whether you will lapse back to the old ways of thinking.

 

The author said the great news is that financial freedom means we can get our personal sense of significance and contribution from wherever we want. Freeing ourselves from what we have to do is what gives us both the opportunity and the need to find out what we want to do. By freeing ourselves from the game that everyone else is playing, we can discover a new and more fulfilling way to play the game. 

 

I fully agree with her. I thank God for the luxury of time. If I was stuck to a nine-to-five job, coupled with parenting demands, I would never have the time to read widely and think about how life should be lived from God’s perspective. I also wouldn’t have the courage to allow myself to think independently without any influence from the world or people around me. To form my own judgement about how my life should be lived and not how others want me to live my life. 

 

And precisely because I was free from the demands and burdens of earning a living, I could get creative about my work. I was able to have a lot of time to journal and reflect on different aspects of life. I thank God for putting some of those insights into books and my blog. Eventually I see myself as a pioneer and trailblazer. I took the road less travelled. 

 

While it was tough, it had been a most fulfilling journey. I learned so many things along the way and whatever I experienced didn’t go to waste. By daring to be different, I was able to challenge the norms and not take things for granted. I wasn’t afraid to step out of my comfort zone to explore the uncharted territory. Even if I made mistakes, it was ok because I learnt the lessons and moved on. 

 

These experiences just enriched my life and made me a better and stronger person overall. As such I realised that I developed understanding beyond my age, with the wisdom of God not the wisdom of the world. My thinking is usually shaped by what the bible says or God’s revelation from heaven. Hence it is untainted and out of this world which makes it all the more precious and refreshing. All glory to Jesus! 

 

 

 

 

 

A TRIBUTE TO THE HOMEMAKERS

I was just watching a video broadcast by Lana Vawser and they were talking about the topic of motherhood. I felt it was so apt as this Sun is Mothers’ day. Specifically how a women in full-time ministry is able to juggle ministry-related assignments and raising children. I would encourage you to watch it if you are interested. I was really blessed by their sharing. https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=316998269794164&id=100044519792813&anchor_composer=false

During the broadcast, Lana said something that shifted my perspective. It was the word ‘homemaker’. God spoke to her about her being a maker of home not just for her own family but also in the family of God. Wow! God just expanded my job definition! God said a homemaker is someone who makes a home comfortable and welcoming not just in our own family but also for the body of Christ.  

In a way this is so true. In the Joseph ministry I am making a home for the brethren to be comfortable in the family of God. A place where they can be vulnerable, to be loved, to love and pray for one another, to share in each others’ dreams and visions, to support and encourage one another in this journey of faith. I am like the connector who connects various members of the family to one another, who sees where their role fits in the kingdom of God. 

 

Once I used to think of a homemaker job as a lowly task, that which was relegated to a maid, now I see it so differently. A homemaker is such a key and important role in the family. One that cannot be underestimated. She is not just a wife, a mum but also the hub that connects the spokes. Suddenly the Holy Spirit gave me this perspective of the seven mountains that just sits so well with the notion of family. You know the Father’s heart is all about family. His family. 

The mountain of business is like the breadwinner’s role. The one who brings in the bacon. The mountain of education is like the role of a coach or tutor in the family. One who teaches the children in the ways of the Lord so that when they grow up they do not stray from that path. The mountain of media is akin to the role of the communicator, be it within the family or to the outside world. This person will need to have the wisdom to know what to say and how to put a certain message across. 

 

The mountain of church is like the role of the homemaker in a sense. Her primary role is to equip the family members for their calling and their work in the kingdom. This role is different from the mountain of education in that this is more about discipleship. It is a lifelong process. The mountain of arts and entertainment is like the role of the entertainer. Someone who plans out the leisure activities and fun things in the family. 

 

The mountain of government is likened to the head of the household, the one who makes the key decisions and sets the direction in the context of a nation. There needs to be certain structures and boundaries at home in order to have godly order. Last but not least the mountain of family is exactly what it is. In a smaller context it is the family unit or the household. In a larger context it is the family of God or the Body of Christ. I see this role more of an intercessory one, as someone who lifts up prayers for the family. 

 

In the natural sense, many of such roles are fulfilled by the mother, whom indeed is like a ‘superwoman’. She is the coach or tutor, the one who equips her kids and disciples them for their calling. She is often the entertainer, thinking of activities for the family so they can have wholesome fun bonding together. Most of the time she is also a communicator, as she is like the epicentre of all communication within the family, even outside of it. 

 

Then she is also the faithful prayer warrior who offers up prayers for her hubby and her children. She is like the glue in the family, connecting everyone together. The only roles she probably didn’t take on is that of the breadwinner and governor. Well in a way she is helping her hubby to earn some side income through good investment choices. She is like a business woman too. Even in the area of setting up rules for the family, she might not be the face of the governor but she certainly has influence over her husband’s decisions. 

 

In closing I just like to pay a tribute to all the homemakers. May the Lord bless the work of your hands, may He give you joy in the midst of the mundane tasks, may He give you meaning and purpose in the seemingly thankless job you are doing, may you find favour with your hubby and children, may your hubby and children arise to call you blessed, may you see yourself as the Lord sees you as one who excels them all, may He show you the fruits of your labour in your family during this new season and may you find joy and fulfilment in Jesus always! 

 

 

 

IS THIS REALLY GOD’S BEST FOR US?

I came across a post in my 2015 journals and felt ministered by it. Hope this will bless you and cause you to meditate on what is God’s best for your life. 

I just read a chapter of a book in the library and I was so ministered by it. The author talked about this lady who is happily married to a believer, has three beautiful kids, lives in a beautiful farmhouse, has a close group of women fellowship, serves in church and is well off financially. She seems to be very contented and grateful in life. She enjoyed those play dates when she would interact with other mums like her in her neighbourhood. All seems well and good except for one thing, she isn't really growing in her relationship with the Lord.

The author said her happiness is build upon the fulfilment of the things she wanted for her little Kingdom. She is glad to see that she is able to fulfil her dreams and desires easily. Everything in her life seems to be going her way, well under control. She doesn't have much challenges in her simple and contented life. She is thankful to God for a nice hubby, beautiful kids and her life as it is. But it never crossed her mind to desire or want more. 

Her life is limited by the size of her life and expectations. Her close female friends are happy to talk about everything under the sun like weather, politics, activities, recipes, how the kids are doing etc. But they don't go deeper into the things of God. Of course there is nothing wrong with such things but if they impede us from growing in the Lord, then it isn't good. Sometimes the very thing we hated like our weakness or challenge or frustration is the thing that drives us to God. It became a good thing in His hands, when we surrender it to Him. 

Obviously she isn't one of those who is groaning, always waiting for dreams and desires to be fulfilled in her life, who travail like a woman heavily pregnant and about to give birth. She might not know what it means to wait upon the Lord for His timing when she seemed to have no problem fulfilling her own desires and needs. She wouldn't have struggled in such areas of heartaches and pains, of hopes deferred. She couldn't relate in areas where one has to press on for the goal set before us. The problem with her is she is too easily contented.

Is her life considered joyful and happy? On the surface yes but it could be dangerous because if her happiness is predicated on external things then it could easily be shaken. All it takes is a bad thing to happen to her family and she will be devastated. Of course the Lord will still turn all things for her good but sometimes it may take certain shaking in our lives to realise that there is a bigger dream for our lives than what we think we want or need. 

Have you seen such believers in your life? I have and there are many of such examples. I don't know is it because of the calling and purpose of their lives or they chose to think of life in that way. One sister used to tell me that if having a great calling in her life meant great trials and tribulations, then she rather not have it. She would pray to ask God for a simple, uneventful but peaceful life. She wanted her life to be smooth sailing. But is that even a prayer that God will honour? I really don't know. After all we cannot choose our calling right? It's all by His grace. 

But of course we can say we don't want His calling. We want our lives to be led in our ways. Sure, God will not force anything on us but does it mean that this will exempt us from all the trials, challenges and difficulties in our lives? Absolutely not! Wake up and smell the roses! We live in a fallen world. By the mere fact that we are made in the image of God, we are already in a war with the devil. Plus the fact that we are saved. Do you think the devil will just leave us alone? I don't mean it to sound scary but these are things that are out of our control. The only place that is really safe is in the refuge of His wings. 

The only way out of this challenges is not by avoiding them but by facing them headlong and overcoming them with God's strength. We cannot be running away from problems all our lives. This is not how God wants us to live. He has given us His power and authority and we are to take dominion of this earth. The devil won't have mercy on us, make no mistake about that. Remember that he hates us as he hated God. Only God loves us and is long-suffering towards us. He is the only One who always longs to do good to us, not harm us. 

So sometimes when I hear of people who are so incredibly blessed and contented with their lives, I don't know whether to be happy for them. It isn't that I am jealous of their blessings or cannot believe that all is too good to be true. On the contrary, I am wondering if such blessings are keeping them from seeking His kingdom rather than their own little kingdoms. And oh yes, the superficial talk about weather, kids, recipes, motherhood, activities...I have been there and done that. Years ago after I gave birth to Joshua, I was engaged in such conversations and I realised long ago that such things don't satisfy me. 

I don't know if it was me or my calling was different from others. I just couldn't relate to them, I couldn't get excited about these things. For a while I was ok but very soon there was a hunger, a discontent in my spirit that craved for more. Except that I didn't know what was it, I had to discover it for myself. Later on I realised that I craved for a deeper relationship with God. For a while I didn't like who I was and why I behaved this way. I wondered why I couldn't be similar to other women. Why I couldn't be easily contented with my life? Why do I have to be so difficult on myself by craving for more? 

Why was I often in travail, experiencing birth pangs, struggling, waiting, pressing on, pressing through when others seemed to achieve their dreams easily? Why do I always have hopes deferred that made my heart sick when others are enjoying their answered prayers? Why do I always have to be the last one to receive my miracles? (Actually I am not the last...) Why do I struggle so much with heartaches and pains, always having to deal with disappointments? It seemed so unfair. I am not being ungrateful to God because I know I am already very blessed. But deep down there was always a yearning for more, not that I am not contented with what God has blessed me with. 

Many years later and only recently I realised it wasn't a bad thing, it was actually very good in God's eyes. Now I am thankful that I was made differently. Honestly I really could kid myself and pretend to be very engrossed and contented with such things in my life but it would all end up in a bubble. I would go around in circles chasing for things that couldn't satisfy and end up in the starting point. Thank God Jesus didn't allow me to do that. Thank God He gave me perspective in knowing my divine calling and why I went through things others didn't all because of my calling. In order that my experiences could bless many others in future. 

So friends, be encouraged that if you are one of those who have suffered great losses or been through many hopes deferred and disappointments, God will not let these experiences go to waste. The reason why you go through such trying challenges is closely associated with God’s calling on your life. Even before you knew your purpose, the enemy already saw the spiritual activity in your life. That was why he attacked you first. You might be in the dark, wondering why such things happened to you and not other people. You might thought God has forsaken you or played a cruel joke on you. But no, this is not God’s doing. And God will restore to you the years the locusts had eaten. He will make the enemy pay you back seven times more!