Lost and Found

Today I had made plans to go downtown to a Christian bookstore in the morning but I needed to leave latest by 11am so that I could pick Joshua up at 1.30pm today. I was rushing to take the condo shuttle bus at 10.30am when I realised that my wallet was not in my bag just before I leave the house. It was rather frustrating because I had wanted to leave as soon as I could because I only had a short window of time to shop. As I frantically searched high and low for my wallet, still hoping to catch the 11am shuttle bus, I realised God was teaching a few lessons.

Lesson No. 1: Don't box God into our time schedules

I got frantic because I was trying to beat the clock...I wanted to hop on the shuttle according to my schedule and my plan. When I could not find my wallet, I was frustrated because I didn't want to be late for the shuttle. Besides I had wanted so badly to buy some Christian books today that I could not bear the thought of postponing my trip to tomorrow.  Yet how could I even step out of my home with no wallet?  I learnt that when we are waiting for God' promise, we often put God on our schedule rather than His. The fact is that Jesus' time frame and the world's time frame do not function the same way. He has the power to accelerate things like how He miraculously condensed the time needed to turn water into wine. We may think that we will miss the boat because we are so late but God is never late. And at the end of it, like Heng said, God will ensure that I will make it back on time.

Lesson No. 2: Don't say what we see, say what we want to see

After I called Heng, I was relieved for a while because he said he did see my wallet this morning. In fact, he put a $50 note into my wallet (which was so sweet of him) and put my wallet into my bag. I thought, since he was so sure, I should be able to find my wallet soon. But after searching through the area where we put our bags, near the sofa and still no sign of my wallet, I started to doubt what Heng said. Did he really see my wallet this morning? And so I started saying 'So frustrating! Where could my wallet go? How ridiculous for someone to lose her wallet in her own home? Why I can't find my wallet? Oh dear, I cannot go to the Christian bookstore because I am so late! Besides, what if my wallet is really lost? It would be so troublesome!' In the midst of it all, I finally said some words of faith. I said 'In the name of Jesus, you will not stop me from going to the Christian bookstore today, devil!'

Lesson No. 3: Don't doubt God's goodness

When I still could not find my wallet after I made that positive confession, I began to question why Heng had to put the $50 note into my wallet this morning; it was not as if I did not had money. Okay, I knew I had crossed the line when I had this thought. Out of the goodness of his heart, my dear hubby gave me more money to spend since I was going shopping and yet, here I was complaining about why he touched my wallet...how ungrateful I was! I even shifted all the blame to him! I suddenly realised this was how I might have viewed God when the waiting got difficult. I questioned His goodness when all He wanted was to bless me richly...it was the evil one that perverted this, not God. I had focused too much on the natural circumstances and I had let go of the Word in the process...

Finally after half an hour of searching at all the wrong places, I found my wallet! Guess where it was? It was hidden behind the day curtain (made of chiffon) near to the place where we put our bags. Actually if it was just one layer of the day curtain, I could have easily spotted my wallet. But it was hidden behind multiple folds of the day curtain which made it totally opaque!

I had this revelation that when the veil was put in front of our eyes, the gospel became hazy or unclear to us. This was when we read the Word but could not totally understand it. But in this case, when multiple folds of the veil were cast before our eyes, we could easily become blind to the truth of the Word.

For me, I had allowed the size of my problem and my own reasoning (of I think my wallet could be) to block my view of the answer, though it was just right before me the whole time, staring me at my face. If my wallet could speak, it would be screaming 'Look over here! Lift the curtains, dumbo! I am here all this while, waiting for you to find me!' 

Thank God I finally made it to the Christian bookstore, bought 8 books at 30% discount and picked up Joshua from his school in time! Through it all, I could have condemned myself for not keeping my cool and not believing that God already had settled this issue for me but I know it was never about my performance. The truth is: God is faithful even when I was faithless...God provided a way out for me even though I was complaining the whole time. And all because God loved me so much.