Monday, May 19, 2014

Condemnation kills!

Last week I was caught up with some issues and became easily agitated. One evening Joshua came back and I saw that his Chinese mini test was not so good. He had a few careless mistakes in my opinion and these could be avoided. Because I was already restless, I flared up at him. I started to get anxious about the English mini test the next day. Usually when he got home, he would ask to play my hand phone for a while before dinner, just to relax. But that day I refused to let him play and told him to start doing the assessment papers even before dinner. I knew he was upset but I didn't care. Then after dinner and his bath, I made him do even more assessment papers. He was having a runny nose which seemed to get worse after I made him do all that. After that I gave him some flu medicine and let him play the handphone for a while before he went to bed. That night he went to bed early but he woke up a few times because he was feeling uncomfortable, maybe due to the blocked nose. Every time he woke up, it seemed like he was having a nightmare and woke up wimping.

Guess what? After all the preparation for his English test, the next day Joshua woke up with worse symptoms of runny nose, stomachache and even a mild fever. He couldn't go to school and had to give the test a miss. But thank God because Heng was also on leave that day, he spent some time playing chess with Joshua in the afternoon. It was the first time Joshua played English chess and he caught it after his daddy taught him once. Joshua was even able to defeat his daddy in a few rounds. Heng praised Joshua and told him that he was smart and quick to learn new things. I could see Joshua starting to beam with joy. Even though the doctor said Joshua may have viral infection, hence the mild fever, we trust that Jesus has healed him. And true enough, the next day, Joshua was well enough to go back to school.

After he went to school, the Lord showed me something from this incident. Firstly He showed me that I was frustrated because I had unknowingly put myself under the law. I forgot that it's not about my works but I am the righteousness of God in Christ. I allowed myself to be bullied by the devil through his attempts of condemnation on me. As I was feeling lousy under condemnation, I found myself giving my son the law too. I started to demand this and that from him. Actually his daddy said he has done quite well in the Chinese test but I was still not satisfied. And as I put him under the law, forcing him to do many assessments even though my spirit was feeling uneasy, I saw the effects on Joshua. His spirits became quite down and it manifested in the symptoms of flu and he couldn't sleep well that night. I don't think he purposely willed to fall sick and miss his English test but that was the result of me putting him under the law. But thank God for his spirits were restored when his daddy showed forth his approval and good opinion through the chess game. And as he became happy again, he was able to recover very quickly. The bible says a merry heart does well like good medicine. How true this it!

The Lord also gently reminded me that as I too had put myself under the law and hence under condemnation. Condemnation really kills. It not only makes my life miserable but it makes the lives of my loved ones miserable too. Similarly it was only when I hear my Daddy God told me He is pleased with me, He is proud of me and He approves of me that I was restored. When I come under His loving grace, condemnation has no power over me. I know I am His beloved and my righteousness is from Jesus, not my works. I see Jesus standing in front of me asking 'What do you want Me to do for you?' I was so touched that I cried. God is so good to me. He is always supplying, never demanding. This is grace. I had been so focused in the demands expected of me and what men think of me that I forgot it's not about me. It's all about Jesus. Whatever I ever needed was already supplied by Him. With this, my heart was restored to peace and joy once again. Thank You, Jesus!

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Impregnated

I came across this word in the definition of stronghold. It's a mindset impregnated with hopelessness that leads us to accept as unchangeable situations which we know are contrary to His will. Well, I have always known what is a stronghold but this definition gave me a new level of understanding. It's related to what Pastor Prince always said about how right believing leads to right living. It all starts with the mind, with a simple thought. It is like inception.

Somehow somewhere along the way, the enemy planted a lie in your mind, telling you that your situation will never change. That you are forever stuck in that rut, kept in that bondage. That no matter what you do, how you cry out to The Lord, He won't be able to hear you and save you. As you begin to believe this lie, the enemy starts to have an open door into this area of your thought life that is vulnerable. He will then cause situations to happen according to what he said. Then he will come back and reinforce his message that nothing is ever going to change. And you become more deeply entrenched in this lie, enforcing a viscous cycle. Soon you find yourself feeling hopeless about your situation, wondering if it would ever change.

But the good news is, just as this stronghold starts with a simple thought, it can be overcome by another simple thought. Just as the enemy can impregnate your mind with his lies, God can impregnate your mind with His truth. It is the thought that Jesus saves to the uttermost and there is nothing impossible to Him. But this process of turn around has to start with your act of will. Choosing to think what the word says, what God says about your situation. Whenever you begin to do that, there will surely be resistance from the enemy because he knows if you introduce Christ into your situation, that is the start of his downfall in the area of his lies. He will fight back with a ferocity in your thought life and sometimes in the circumstances of your life. He will cause a storm to rise up and make the situation seem worse than before, making you wonder if the word of God really works.

As you choose to replace those lies with God's word, the process of renewing your mind begins just as the bible says in Romans 12:2. It will not happen overnight but slowly and surely, as you continue and persist on focusing your thought life with what God can do, then you will start to witness His power in your life. When your thoughts are made pregnant with His word, you will conceive incorruptible seed and bear fruit. This fruit will eventually manifest as there will be signs of turn around in your life. Your circumstances will begin to line up with His word. When this happens, hope and faith will rise up within you because God has already proven that nothing is unchangeable. Everything you can see is temporary and subject to change. And you are starting to see these changes in your life which you used to believe are unchangeable.

As God reinforced His message that He has come to change and shift your season, and He backs up His word with the circumstances, your beliefs that there is hope for your situation and that you will see the manifestation of your promise are more deeply entrenched. Soon, you will no longer focus on the enemy's lies about your situation but choose to believe and declare God's word for your life. As time goes on, you will find that the enemy's lies get weaker and less convincing. Every area of your life that glistens with hope in God is an area which is being liberated by Christ, the hope of glory. Eventually the word of God in your heart will bear fruit and that's when you see a breakthrough in your thoughts. One day, you will realize that you are no longer enslaved by negative and hopeless thoughts in that area. The stronghold has already been torn down and you are set free from that bondage.

Very soon, the deliverance in your thought life will manifest in the physical realm. That's when the thing you hoped for came to pass. It has become a reality, no longer just wishful thinking. Your circumstance finally aligned itself to the word of God, which is also His will for your life. Joy has come to abide in places where you used to mourn. Light has penetrated the area of your thought life that was once dark. Hope has replaced the hopelessness that you once felt and change has occurred in the very area of your life which you once thought was unchangeable. Christ has caused you to overcome that area you were repeatedly defeated in and the enemy no longer has any hold on you anymore. Praise Jesus!

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Times of transition

Recently I am reading a book called 'Possessing Your Inheritance' by Chuck D. Pierce and Rebecca Wagner Systema. I was thinking about what I experienced during times of transition. I read this book in end 2008 and I believe it is no coincidence that I am reading it now. As I read it, I was reminded of those times of transitions and noticed there were similarities so I decided to journal down.

1) Times of transition usually come after a time of wilderness where nothing seems to be happening and you are still waiting for God to bring you out. You will feel as if God has forgotten you or that you are stuck at one place. It's a time when it seems like God is hiding His face and He is not really telling you what is happening, showing you His will for next season or when you will move on. It's usually a time of testing where you feel that you are in a fiery furnace. A difficult place.

2) You have been crying out for the Lord to bring you out of that place and move you on. You don't want to be circling the same mountain year after year. But it seemed like your prayers went to the ground. Yet God is working something behind the scenes. He is turning things around and preparing you for a season of restoration. He will remind you of the restoration promises like Isa 66:12, Isa 61:3, Isa 61:7, Ps 30:5, Est 9:22 etc. The deeper we experience sorrow, the more capacity we have for joy. One reason that God brings joy after a season of sorrow or heartache is to bring a new wind of strength to our spirit. Joy brings a new vitality and strength. Joy produces the kind of strength we need to move into our next season.

3) Then one day, God visits you and starts giving you instructions for your new season and tell you to get ready to move on. This is when the transition starts. It is a narrow place like between the Red Sea and the marauding armies. God may prompt you to take a step of faith to close the door behind you before the manifestation comes. It totally doesn't make sense in the natural. After doing it, you will feel like you are stuck. The door has closed behind you but the door ahead is not open yet. Transition is also likened to a time just before a woman gives birth. It is usually a very intense period when you feel vulnerable, overwhelmed, restless, frustrated, disoriented, discouraged and reaching the end of your rope. It's when the opposition is the fiercest and you feel like giving up the most. Because you have traveled a long way and waited a long time, you feel like you really don't have the strength to press on. Yet this is the time you really need to press on, wait for God to grant you the second wind and give a final push to deliver the baby. Don't focus on the pain, the discomfort. Focus on the hope of the baby coming forth. Set your face like flint for the joy set before you. Verses like Phil 3:13-14 usually appear to encourage you to press forward.

4) During transition, The Lord will also show you what are the things you need to let go of, namely all the excess baggage because you cannot bring these over to your new season. Weights of the past, friends of the last season, past disappointments, past heartaches, old mindsets, even what had worked out well in the past. God redefines and adjusts whatever rules are necessary for us to get to the new place. It's a time when He 'deconstructs' whatever past achievements and strips off anything you can hold on to for security. You cannot return to the comfort of the past, yet you don't know what lies ahead. The only stability and security is His immovable nature. Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and forever. It's a time you need to focus on Him alone, carefully listen to what He is saying to us. You can reflect on His faithfulness, on how He has brought you through such times of transition and hold fast to that. As He has done before, He will make sure you cross over to the other side.

5) At the same time, He will show you that a season has passed, a chapter of your life has ended. God will bring you through a short journey of reflection on the past season and tell you that you have finished well and show you how much you have grown. He knows you have little faith but you have kept His word and not denied His name. You will also have the feeling that you have fought the good fight of faith, you have finished the race and kept the faith. Then He promises you the rewards, the crown that come with passing of that test, the completion of that assignment. You will have the abiding peace that you have done the will of God and He will surely do His part. He affirms that season is over with Phil 1:6 'He who started a good work in you will bring it to completion.' God will also prepare you for the new season ahead with verses connoting divine shifts (Isa 48:6, Isa 43:19). You will sense a new beginning on the horizon.

6) The other thing I noticed before the manifestation came was that God reminded me to remember Him, that He is the One who multiplies our numbers and gives us power to gain wealth as in Deut 8:18. Just before I conceived Joshua, God impressed upon me to build memorial stones, as a testament of His goodness to our future generations. Eventually these memorial stones were translated into my book 'Beauty out of Ashes'.

7) Suddenly, you will realize that things are starting to fall into place, exactly how God has predicted or said. And you will be amazed at the speed of how God moves. This is usually a time of revelation when you will see His beautiful plans unfold. During such times, your faith will be greatly boosted and you will start to feel the joy coming. It's like the second wind that gives you the strength for the final push to deliver the baby. From my experience, transition period lasts only a few months. It starts when God gives you instructions for the next season or when He tells you to get ready to move on. The move could be seen in a change of physical location. It could be a change in vocation...it could be dramatic or imperceptible. Sure enough, one day we will find that the shifting had occurred and we have moved solidly into the new season.

8) Nearing the end of the transition, you will find that certain issues that used to bother you so much did not affect you now. This is because the bondages and strongholds are already destroyed and the Lord has caused you to overcome where you could not in the past. There is a certain freedom when you realized that you have truly overcome such issues, no longer bound by the taunts and tortures of the mind. By now you will have also gained a new perspective to how you view certain issues. That's when the renewing of your mind is complete and old ways of thinking are gone. You will find it silly  when you think about how you have allowed such issues to keep you bondage in the past, causing endless heartaches. The Lord will also open your eyes to see how blessed you have been all along and you will break forth in praise and thanksgiving. What a great deliverance! And the end result is you are more hardened to difficulties than before.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Finishing well

Recently I felt like reading the book on 'Finishing Well' by David Wong again. I have read this book several times but I still felt that the message offered me new perspective every time I read it. We are so prone to forget what we have learnt in the past and the Holy Spirit is the One who brings to remembrance. God reminded me with Isaiah 48:6 'You have heard; see all this. And will you not declare it? I have made you hear new things from this time; even hidden things, and you did not know them.'

Then as I read my journals from July 2011, I saw that God was leading me through a review of the past three years in my old company. It was like looking back before God moved me on to the next stage. I knew He was doing a new thing and He also assured me that I have closed the previous chapter of my life well. What I didn't know was that new thing is not about having another baby but about my care group (CG) ministry work, which He has embarked me on. As I read those, I really felt like deja vu. The messages He told me then was exactly what He has been telling me for the past few months. I knew the importance of closing each chapter of my life well because of the impact it would have on the next chapter.

I know too well that many started well but few finish well. I want to be amongst those who finish well. It's not hard to start something but it's difficult to finish well. It takes patience and endurance to finish well. Patience is better than pride. The end of a matter is better than its beginning. Closure is as much a part of life as change. Whenever change takes place, there is usually some form of closure. Each change brings with it a new beginning but each beginning is preceded by an ending. That's why when God comes to me with a message that He is doing new things (like verses connoting divine shifts), I am excited. I know that He has also come to complete the good work that He started in me. How we end one chapter is important as how we begin the next.

What is the definition of finishing well? Towards God, it means faithfulness to our calling. Our focus is how we live in order to finish the race and complete the assignment God has for us. As much as I wanted to move on to my childbearing season in those years, I put His will above mine. I don't know and I don't want to speculate when my appointed time will be. All I know was that I have to shepherd my sheep and care for the sheep entrusted to me well. I just did what I knew to do and leave the childbearing issue to the Lord.

Secondly towards ourselves, it means a clear conscience. To know that we have discharged our responsibilities with integrity so that we have no cause to feel guilty at unfulfilled obligations and unkept promises. I remember telling the Lord not to put them through the pain of feeling abandoned like they did when our previous CG leader had to step down suddenly. And the Lord did it. I held on to the mantle until another person was ready to step up. I wanted to finish well so that they would give me their blessings when I move on.

Finally, finishing well involves relationships. Towards others, it means the value we place on people and the difference we make to their lives. What we have accomplished in this world will be measured by the lives of people we have touched. I want to be known as a leader who has been faithful to the end. You know, when I saw that the CG is functioning well without me, when the legacy of God's love and care is passed down to them, my heart is so relieved. And that was when I knew that should God move me on from this CG, all will be well with my sheep for He deeply cares for them.


Praise God for the open door!

On 1st May, I received an email from a sister in New Creation Church (NCC) whom I didn't know. She wrote to tell me that she saw my book while browsing through the Biography session at Tecman, a popular Christian bookstore in Singapore. She was surprised that the author was actually someone from NCC. She bought the book, read it and found it to be a blessing to her. Hence she wrote to tell me all that. I was pleasantly surprised by this piece of good news. My book was published in mid 2012 and ever since the initial excitement, I have not been actively marketing it.

It was amazing because I didn't even know my book was carried by Tecman until I saw the email from her. There was a time I used to frequent this bookstore to buy Christian books but somehow I have not visited Tecman for a long while. I remember calling them to ask if they could carry my book in Sep 2012 and they replied they only retail books straight from distributors. It was a closed door then but I was not discouraged. After all, I tried. And so all this while I thought my book was sold only in USA and through on-line bookstores like Amazon. Unbeknownst to me, the Lord has been working behind the scenes to open the door for my book to reach Singapore shores! I really can't believe it. A door that was previously shut to me is now opened by The Lord. Wow! I felt so loved.

Last Sat, we went to Tecman to check out my book. It was displayed in quite a prominent place in the bookshelf under 'Biography'. I don't know how to describe the feeling but I was just dumbstruck when I saw my book sold there along with other books. I really couldn't believe my eyes. It's like is it really my book??? I have never dreamt that one day I would actually publish a book, let alone for my books be sold in Tecman! I am a lover of Christian books and I used to frequent Tecman to check out the books by different authors. But on that day, I was there checking out my own book! It was really a wildest dream come true!

Seeing my book on the shelves made my heart beam with joy and pride. Yet I know it has never been me in the first place. God was the One who put the desire in me to write a book, inspired me to actually write it and He also opened the doors for publishers. Now He even opened the doors for my book to reach Singapore shores! The sister from NCC told me that my book was a new addition. I was meditating on the fact that when God opens a door, no one can shut it. It was the power of open doors.

Until today I still feel awed by the fact that God has been working behind the scenes all along. It's like I didn't even have to labour or toil or force open the door. Everything was effortless because I didn't even know about it in the first place! So how could I even sweat about it? I didn't even ask God for this open door. Since the launch of my book in 2012, it has gone all quiet after the initial buzz but I knew God has not forgotten about my book. It was just maybe the season was not right. Now that He has done this wonderful thing for me, I felt like the season to market my book again has come. After all, God made it easy for my local friends and supporters to purchase my book from Tecman, instead of having to order it on-line. Praise God for open doors!