Remember the Lord (Part I)

I realised I have not been blogging for nearly 3 weeks. Recently I have been busy re-tracing the journey for the past 3 years: 2008-2010. I kept a handwritten journal for those years and I have been typing these entries in my laptop. It seemed like God was telling me to remember Him in the journey that He walked with me. In Deut. 8:2, the scriptures say 'And you shall remember that the Lord your God led you all the way these 40 years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not.'

I have always thought that this process of waiting for my second child was a timing issue. Now I saw it clearly. It was not a timing issue. It was a faith issue. In fact, God told me in Jan 2008 when I asked Him about His will for my next season, He said 'Can I not show you? I want you to trust me. This is a faith test.' Indeed this whole journey had been a faith test rather than a timing issue. God 'chastened' me in these years so that He might make me know that man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the Lord. (Deut. 8:3)

Honestly I do not think that the Lord does not know what was on my heart - just that He needs to show me what was on my heart when being tested. Joyce Meyer said that many people think that they are godly but they will never know how they respond until they passed the faith test. Indeed these few years of waiting were likened to the wilderness for me and thank God He was merciful to cut short the wilderness period! It was truly a humbling process and I came to the end of myself many times. I came to the point I thoroughly experienced that I am nothing without Christ and I can do nothing. Yet on the other spectrum, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

God wants me to walk in His ways and to fellowship intimately with Him because He is bringing me into a good land, a land flowing with milk and honey. I learnt that the Lord was testing me to do me good in the end as the whole process of chastening, though painful at that time, yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it (Heb. 12:11) He never meant to destroy my faith in the process but to bring it to a higher level where my heart is established in righteousness.

God also wants me to remember that it is the Lord who gives me power to get wealth (Deut. 8:28), so He may establish His covenant He swore to Abraham. It would be really heart-breaking for Him to see me proud, thinking that the power and the might of my hand have gained me this wealth. He is such a good God. He doesn't want all these material things to draw me away from Him because He knows that without this vital connection with Him, all I have will be a form of godliness yet denying its true power.

Oh, how mistaken God is, especially when believers go through the wilderness, the chastening! They might be disappointed with God, thinking that He is callous and heartless but He allowed all that to happen for a good cause. It's just that at the point of testing we cannot see how things will work for our good. I have been through the desert and now I thank God I am out of it finally. I can testify that He is faithful and He will work things out for our good. I see it now, on hindsight. Thank you Lord. Thank you Jesus.