THANK GOD FOR HENG'S PROMOTION!

This has been a long awaited thanksgiving. In fact during last July, there had been talk about Heng taking over the Finance Director SG portfolio from his colleague. His bosses took a while to sort things out but eventually on 23 Aug 2017, they decided to let Heng try out the position. Hence he was made Acting Finance Director on 1 Sep 2017 and put on probation until end Dec 2017. If he proved to be competent for the job, the company would then confirm his appointment.

Thank God that they confirmed his appointment on 10 Jan 2018 but his employment terms and conditions remained the same until the annual salary review in April. Just yesterday he received his promotion letter with the salary increment. In addition to that, God surprised us with a bonus payout this year as the company was doing better. Last year the bonus was very little but thank God this year it was much more as Heng also got a good performance grading.

It was a restoration as Heng didn't receive any bonus for the past two years. Not only that our finances were under attack and we had been feeling the stretch for the past season. There were times when we had to dip into our savings. Yet God never failed to provide us when the need arose. Heng's dad won lottery a few times and blessed us with some of his winnings. God is so good to us. We were never in lack though our finances were stretched.

Heng's appointment as Finance Director was really the favour of God as he had only been in the company for less than six months before he was given the opportunity to take on this position. Previously he was just a senior manager. Yet God already had plans to promote Heng as early as May 2014. There were talks of putting Heng up as regional Finance Director in his old company but this was met with much opposition. Thank God that His plan always prevails!

Nearly four years later, Heng finally came into position. It hadn't been an easy four years for Heng in terms of his career but God is faithful. He promised that after we have gone through the fire and the water, He will bring us to a broad place of abundance (Psalms 66:12) and He really did so! We are now seeing the after math of those storms and attacks we had been through in the past season. It had been such a tough season but finally it had passed. God is now bringing us into a season of harvest, of restoration, of dreams come true. He is making the enemy repay us for the injustice and troubles brought into our lives.

WHAT PLEASES GOD?

Recently I was impressed upon this thought. What are our actions that will please God? I realised it when Joshua responded in a certain way and I felt very pleased. Then I remembered how God must have felt when I responded in the same way to Him.

For example, when Joshua asked me for advice for his science exam, like any tips for him, I was pleasantly surprised. Of course I was more than happy to share some tips with him. Then I saw that when we humble ourselves like a child and ask God for wisdom, He is very pleased with us. He never fails to answer me when I go to Him at the end of myself, saying 'Lord I don't know what to do but my eyes are on You.'

Another thing that pleases God is having a heart of thanksgiving. I am very pleased when Joshua shows appreciation for the things we do for him. Be it big or small like cooking a meal for him. I love it when I see his eyes sparkle when we plan a staycation for him or bring him on a holiday. I love to see him happy and giving thanks for the things we blessed him with.

God is so good. He always reminds me to do good to myself and to pamper myself. He isn't afraid that I will become a selfish spoilt brat. He knows I am not like that. He is very pleased when He sees me happy, enjoying my life, without having a care in this world. Just like any parent would do for their kids, God also loves to surprise me. He loves to hide certain things from me and then pop that surprise to see how I react.

I also noticed that God loves interaction or fellowship with us. Like when we ask Him questions or be bold with Him. Bible tells us that we have not because we ask not. Many of us may have placed obedience on a higher importance than fellowship so when God told us to do certain things, we dared not ask Him why. Actually we are not undermining His authority when we ask Him questions. Know that God isn't intimidated by our questions.

Joshua loves to ask questions. Although I cannot give him an answer all the time, I still encourage him to ask. It is through his questions that I understand how he thinks or feels about certain issue. Sometimes it would be hard to get him to talk when I ask him questions. But when he asks me questions, I will take the opportunity to also ask him certain things. It was more fun this way. More interaction.

I also think that God is pleased when we carry His heart. When we think of Him. Just like some of you, when a particular child does something really sweet for you, your heart will be endeared to that child though you love all your children the same. God really loves it when He sees the hunger in our hearts for His presence, more than anything else in the world. There is nothing He won't do for people who can tug at His heartstrings like that.

Another thing that pleases God is having a teachable spirit. It is ok to make mistakes but when God disciplines or corrects us, we have to be willing to accept it and change our mind. That is repentance. Not going to the other extreme of feeling so condemned and guilty about making that mistake. If that was the case, we would not be able to change our ways. I always tell Joshua I will not be too hard on him if he makes mistakes. But if he is stubborn about his ways, still thinks he is right and keeps arguing with me, I will be very upset. I told him I wanted him to have a teachable spirit. 

Last but not least, God is pleased when we give Him the glory. He is so good. He always gives us the credit when it is all Him. He first puts the desire in our hearts, then gives us the grace and strength to do the thing He placed on us. When the desire came to pass, He thanked us for doing it when it was all Him. I found it pleasing when I asked Joshua whether he thought it was his own smarts that got him the good grades and his answer was 'no, it wasn't my own smarts but God helping me and mummy coaching me.'

LEARNING TO BE ROYALTY

I was so drawn to this book 'Supernatural ways of royalty' by Kris Vallotton when it was first launched. I read the preview of it on kindle. Since it was only USD9, I decided to buy it. I had always been drawn to topics on royalty. This was what God was teaching me all these years. More than just the spirit of sonship, God also wanted us to think and live like royalty.

He kept telling me that I am a princess. And all these years God has been changing my mind from a poverty mindset to one of abundance. I read in this book many things that bear witness with my heart. It was like putting into words what I always felt. There was so much life when I read this book.

It's true that a poverty mentality is the primary attribute of a pauper. They always believe that there is never going to be enough for them. They live in constant fear, struggling with the feeling that the well is about to dry up. But God never intended for us to live in poverty in any area of our life.

Paupers always feel that resources are limited. When someone else receives something, they think it takes away some of their provisions. People can have a lot of money or things but still feel insecure inside, fearing that something could happen and they will lose it all. The pauper acquires money or things and tends to get their identity from those things.

Princes don't get their identity from what they have because they know their identity isn't dependent on their performance or possessions. Princes own things but they never let things own them. The result is they are able to enjoy the worry free life Jesus promised.

This was exactly how I felt at times. I was raised in a poor family. At times we hardly have money to put food on the table. This didn't give me much security when growing up but I learnt to save up and live frugally. I also learnt about delayed gratification and spending within my means, not incurring debts.

Growing up I didn't have many toys or clothing but I didn't seem to mind it. I was still grateful for the hand-me-downs. At a young age I knew how to encourage myself to study hard, get a good job in future then I could have the money to buy the nice things. My family background, my past didn't disqualify me from having a good life in future. Hence I wasn't resentful of my background or ashamed of my parents. If they had a choice they also wouldn't choose such a life.

I wasn't a child of God then but deep down inside me I knew I wasn't defined by what my parents had or what I had. I was searching for the purpose of life at a young age. Surely Someone put me here for a reason. I must be significant to Him enough to be born on this earth. Because of this knowing, I was a secure child. I wasn't jealous when other kids had toys or stuff that I didn't have. This didn't bother me.

But I was a self-driven person, even after knowing Christ. I studied hard and worked hard to have a decent living. I didn't want to rely on others or borrow for food. So I had to learn to save up at a young age. My reluctance to spend was sometimes disguised under a justification of being good steward of God's money. But it was far from that reason. Deep down the poverty mindset was still in operation.

What if I spend so much now and later I don't have enough? What if I need the money for a rainy day as it happened one day to my mum's family? What if something happened and I lose it all? It showed up my insecurity, that my trust was never fully in God's provision. That's the reason why I save and shrimp every single dollar I received.

Like a squirrel I hoard and hoard. Even when God blessed us financially there will be this voice that tells me not to buy this dress as it isn't worth so much. My heart is drawn to the lovely dress but my head tells me that I can get better deals elsewhere. Sometimes it could be because I felt like I didn't deserve such an expensive dress. The money was better spent elsewhere. Or on someone else.

Then I experienced hopes deferred because I would go on a futile hunt for something less expensive but I didn't like as much. At times I would end up buying something cheaper or more 'worth my money' yet I didn't feel fulfilled as it was a compromise. I would then wonder if I bought the expensive dress would I feel more fulfilled. The value I place on the dress was often determined by whether I felt like I deserved to be pampered.

Of course there would be those rare times that I didn't think so much and I just bought what I liked despite the price tag. Mostly I would feel very happy for my longing was fulfilled, yet there would be this niggling question of whether it was really worth the money. Yes, even after I bought it I would still wonder if I made the right choice! How contradicting I am, right!

This was all a pre-conditioning since I started working. That voice from my mum that nagged at the things I bought for myself, questioning if I really needed that many pieces of clothing for work and making me feel guilty for not spending my money on her instead. But really what was so wrong with me spending my own money? It wasn't as if I didn't give her any allowance.

Later I felt indignant when I saw how my mum could allow my brothers to not give her allowance after they spent the money on themselves. I was sure that she too nagged at them but the guilt trap didn't work on them. Not in the least bit. They rationalised that since my parents had the money to travel so frequently they must still have some money. So the constant lament that they have no money was a hoax.

Years later, after I became a stay-home mum, I started spending other people's money. Heng's money. It was money that I didn't even deserve to spend since I did not work for it. So what was I to do? That was when God began to transform my mind. To understand and know what is His grace. To be able to receive something that I don't deserve. It was not easy for a person like me to not work for something and spend it.

I am still in the process of mind renewal. I am not exactly there yet but I am getting better. At least nowadays I am not so stingy on myself. I will make an effort to buy things that I set my eyes on, provided the prices are not too extravagant. Once in a while I will splurge on myself if I find things I really like. It will be like a treat from my Abba God.

HOW TO GET OUT OF A RUT

I came across this question in Doug Addison's book 'Flipping Your Financial Future'. How do people get a breakthrough when they have been stuck in a rut for a really long time? Doug replied that usually someone who is stuck almost always have a negative atmosphere around them. And a negative spirit which is always complaining. All that you say bounces off them, such as there is no use, nothing I do will help.

They should come into agreement with someone. Get someone to agree with them in prayer. They need to get around positive faith-filled people who are like spiritual explosives in order to get this thing unstuck. Also to take a step. Start taking holy communion every single day. Doug did this when he was sick and he suffered for two years. But he didn't fall into the sickness and gotten healed eventually. Begin to ask God to show you what the enemy does not want you to see and then take steps forward.

This topic struck a chord in my spirit because there was a time when I was stuck. I knew I was circling the same mountain year after year but I couldn't help it. I totally hated the long wait and got frustrated each time my hopes were raised then dashed. The disappointments were beginning to lodge into my spirit and I started to become bitter. Upset with God. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired yet I was helpless. I didn't know what to do. It seemed like nothing helped. No amount of praying, binding, loosing, decreeing and confessing worked. It was a downward spiral.

Things became worse as time passed. The longer the time elapsed, the deeper the stronghold. It was true that someone stuck in a rut almost always have a negative spirit or atmosphere around them. At one point I was so disillusioned about this issue that I would have heartaches and pain just thinking about this promise.  I even asked myself numerous times if it was worth the wait, worth the heartaches. I really wanted to give up waiting for the promise.

When my thoughts were so negative you can imagine my speech. It was all negative confessions of why we had to wait so long for this promise. Even Joshua corrected me saying if I kept saying wait so long then the longer I would have to wait. It was a self-defeating cycle. Deep down in my heart I really didn't want to wait but my heart was too calloused to have a positive confession of faith. I just could not believe that anything could work, not even faith.

So where was my turning point? I guess it was in 2014 when I pressed the reset button. I told God I was willing to go back to square one regarding this issue and start all over again. To put the past disappointments and heartaches behind me and to have a new beginning. Because the stronghold was deeply entrenched I had to renew my mind with His word. Going back to the word of God regarding this promise was a must.

The other thing which helped a lot was a change of environment. When God said He is coming to change the season, do something new in our lives, we have to align ourselves with His word. That means finding ways to do things differently. Be it a change of environment or making new friends. Even a change of hairstyle will help, just anything to get out of the routine. It also involves deliberately letting go of things from the past. This part is going to be tough because the past will always try to entangle you. Stop you from moving forward, being unstuck.

God also showed me who are the people in my life I should associate less with and who are the positive ones I should surround myself with. For the past two years He has been trying to get me to cut the ties with a friend but I was reluctant to let go of my comfort zone of sharing my life with her. I was afraid that I had no one else to share my life with. Eventually I had to let this friendship go last Dec. It wasn't as bad as I thought because of the new things God has been doing in my life.

I also tried to get out of the house more often and keep myself occupied. And I kept an open mind to try out new things this year. I knew I had come out of winter and spring was arriving so I decided to try new things. Like parent volunteer work and getting plugged into Joshua's school, his friends etc. I also got to make new friends with his classmates' mothers.

As I did so, I realised that strength was coming back to me. I felt less and less lethargic as spring kicked in. Little by little my season began shifting and things of my past slowly became a faint memory. Since last Christmas, I started taking note of how things were different for New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day, CNY and even our wedding anniversary. God was beginning to restore things in my life. Things really didn't look the same anymore.

As God shifted my season, I felt like my hope was also restored and I could dream again. Things that felt impossible to change in the past had began to change one by one. My thinking also got renewed. Slowly I no longer felt hopeless or heart pain when I think about this promise or the long wait. God began to fan into flames the dream by restoring hope in my heart. I slowly regained a faith picture of holding my promise in my hands.

Besides God convinced me that the long wait was finally over and I made it to my destination. I passed the test and I would be promoted. My appointed time has come so I wouldn't have to wait anymore. Time is now on my side. Guess what happened to my speech. It was no longer negative but I was aligning my words with the word of God, decreeing what He said about my situation. Barrenness was slowly being changed into fertility.

Another thing that God told me to do was to start taking communion on a daily basis like what Doug suggested. When He told me to do so in Aug 2016, I did it because I was sick and tired of seeing relentless attacks on my body. I wasn't thinking of getting unstuck or moving forward. I just wanted relief from those attacks. But I recalled Pastor said holy communion is a door of hope in the valley of trouble. It is God's ordained solution to provide a way out for us when we were tempted.

Coming into agreement with someone to contend for my breakthrough was also important. Other than Heng, I had another sister to stand in faith with me over this promise. At times she would have visions of God giving me this promise. This confirmation from a third party encouraged me greatly for I know I am not alone and I am not hearing God wrongly.

Praying in tongues helped us to go on the offensive instead of reacting when things happened. Doug advised us to ask God to show us what the enemy does not want us to see and then take steps forward. I found that when I prayed in tongues, my spirit was sensitised to what God was trying to say. It kind of opened up the heavens. Many times I averted the enemy's attacks when I prayed in tongues that I didn't know of. And there were times when the Lord showed me in advance the enemy's devices so I could pray against it.

I also think that having a thanksgiving heart also helps to get me out of a rut. Worship and thanksgiving always puts our focus back on Jesus, creating an atmosphere of faith that God can work in our lives. When our praise goes up, the answer comes down. Whenever God prompts me to praise Him, I would get excited because I know my breakthrough is very near.

Lastly God kept telling me to do good to myself, deny myself not the pleasures of life and to pamper myself. I experienced the power of a longing fulfilled instead of hopes deferred all the time. God put new desires in my heart and then fulfilled them. Each time my longing was fulfilled I felt like joy was being restored as well. My heart was so grateful because I felt the Father's love. I saw how it brought much joy to Him when He saw me happy. Joy is a powerful spirit. Like faith, it creates an atmosphere where we can easily receive from God.

Another thing I did to be good to myself was to stop forcing myself to do things I don't like. I learnt not to put myself under demands and obligations especially from others. I only do things when I am led by the Spirit or when I have the desire to do so. There is so much life when I obey the Spirit's prompting. And I stopped feeling guilty or condemned when I say no to such demands. It was a much more freeing way to live. In doing so I also became less affected by man's opinions.

Not only that the Lord taught me to speak up and stand for what is right even when it was very tough. Learning to do so was not easy but it really liberated me in so many ways. I used to be intimidated by fierce people and scared of confrontations. Now I am no longer the same. Giving vent to my standpoint allows me to be the person God made me. I don't feel lousy all the time because I constantly suppress my feelings and words. I am set free to speak my mind. This is a great liberation! I am not a victim but a victor. No pushover or doormat.

A MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH

I really want to thank God for a major breakthrough that occurred recently, during the Passover week. This matter was about an overdeduction of Heng's pay for Central Provident Fund (CPF) when he was still in the previous company. The company was required to make restitution in Nov 2016 and they did so for one entity. But for the entity that Heng was in, the payment was supposed to be voluntary as this matter had not surfaced to the CPF Board. The good thing was the company decided to also pay the employees in that entity. However the payment was delayed for a long while.

Even after Heng left the company in Feb 2017, this payment was still not made. Now we know this was a repayment for the overdeduction in Heng's salary so we didn't want to let it go. This money had Heng's name on it. There was a delay as the company had cash flow issues and asked to pay up only by end Mar 2018. There was a time during the wait when I felt this issue was immovable and I could not see how they would pay up. Hopes were raised and then dashed as there were further delays. Many times we felt so frustrated and upset over this issue.

Heng later found out that some employees had already received the restitution in Dec 2017. So we waited patiently till end Mar even though we hoped that God would expedite the entire process. On 26 Mar, Heng received news from the previous company. We were elated to hear from them finally! We thought that the contending, the fight of faith was finally over. But it was not over. On 30 Mar, which was the start of Passover and also Good Friday, something cropped up so Heng still could not receive the repayment. We were so pissed and frustrated.

It felt like the meat was already at our mouths but we still could not eat it. But we knew the enemy was desperate. It was a last ditch attempt to make Heng give up on the repayment. Heng likened this situation to the time when Pharaoh and his armies pursued Israel. If they didn't pursue, they wouldn't have perished. But because they did, they died a horrible death. So we prayed and bound the opposing forces in Jesus' name and asked God to loose the solution from Heaven. The next day God gave Heng a strategy to recover the money, which Heng set about doing.

I then realised that it was a good place to be in because shortly after that, God would open the Red Sea to let us cross over. Not only that God also would drown our enemies by closing up the Red Sea. The enemies we see today we will see no more. After our enemies perished, we could them plunder their spoils. It was a double win. Double restoration. I told Heng it wasn't a coincidence that this thing happened on Passover.

I was singing the song of deliverance from the cartoon movie 'Prince of Egypt' during those few days. I was telling Heng we should watch this movie again to remind us of how God delivered the Israelites and destroying the enemies. It was no coincidence that this movie was showing on TV that evening. God was reminding us that He is fighting our battle as we watched how the Egyptian armies were drowned by the Red Sea.

It was brought to my attention that Passover this year fell on Good Friday. It was again no coincidence. Something is very special this Passover. We are really crossing over to a new season, a new level. In fact, the Holy Spirit already alerted me to such opposing forces two weeks ago and had me pray in tongues more frequently last week. The Lord has already released strategies to getting a breakthrough this Passover.

So this recent event shouldn't come as a surprise to me. After all God had prepared me in advance for this opposition. He has given me the strategies to break this cycle of delay. Even so I was still feeling weary. At the end of the church service last Sunday, I told the Lord the battle belonged to Him. It had been such an intense weekend. We had come such a long way for the issue yet at the final stage the enemy was still trying to keep us from our restoration. At this point I was too tired to fight the enemy. I had already done what I knew to, so the rest was up to God.

Of course we would not give up as we were so close to breakthrough. But just the thought of having to press on for a while more, to handle another delay was unbearable. Yet we had come so far, waited 1.5 years, endured such a long delay so what was another few days of waiting? The end was already here. Besides it wasn't as if we needed the money. God is so good. During our Resurrection Sunday service, there was an video of a lion roaring which stuck in my mind. God was assuring me that the Lion of Judah was roaring over our roadblock so all would be well.

What happened on Monday was nothing short of a miracle. Heng did exactly what God put on his heart, said what he had to say to the company and God resolved it for him in that same day! So there was no more delay! Heng received the cheque on Tuesday and we happily banked in the cheque, giving thanks to the marvellous work the Lord had done for us. Indeed it was a tremendous breakthrough. What had seemed like an impossible mountain was finally removed by the Lord! 

Praise Jesus for His resurrection power!

RESURRECTION SUNDAY

Yesterday we celebrated Easter or Resurrection Sunday. The service was fantastic. Pastor showed the video on what happened at the cross. At the closing Pastor showed the video about Jesus cleansing the leper and healing him. I cried whenever I saw this video. So touched by Jesus' love and compassion.

One thing that struck me during this Easter was the power of His resurrection. How dry bones come alive. How the dead things get resurrected and bring forth new life. Ezekiel 37 prophecy. I had been seeing this prophecy spoken over 2018 since the start of this year. I believe Passover is the time this all begins to come to pass. Passover is a time of new beginnings after God delivered us from bondages.

Last night I couldn't sleep. I was thinking about the story of Moses and the exodus of the Israelites. I thought about how much opposition they had to go through before they were set free. And even till the last minute, Pharaoh still didn't want to let them go and chased after them. It was despicable. Serves the Egyptian army right to be drowned in the Red Sea!

I always thought the opposition only arose towards the end of their deliverance but last night the Lord showed me that wasn't the case. The resistance already began when Moses was born. Some 80 years ago. Remember how Pharaoh had the babies under two years old killed. Moses' mum had to hide him and give him away. It was a twist of fate that Moses grew up in the Egyptian palace.

He could possibly be swayed by the comfort and riches of the palace, forgetting about his calling. Nevertheless because he was nursed and taught by his birth mother since young, Moses didn't forget the sufferings of his people. Later on, the enemy tried to stop Moses from rising up to be the deliverer when he killed an Egyptian. He had to run away.

The 40 years in the wilderness was a real test for Moses. He could have given up all hopes of delivering his people. After all he was cut off and isolated for so many years. Maybe God has forgotten about him. But God didn't. All this while God was preparing Moses not to go in his own strength but the power of God. Well when the time came and God said Moses was ready, He came to Moses in a burning bush.

Moses totally didn't expect it and didn't feel adequate for the task. It was too enormous for him. Once again the enemy tried to stop Moses from rising up to his calling by pointing to his weakness and his guilt of murder. But God is greater than the opposing forces. He sent Moses to speak to Pharaoh with his brother Aaron. Aaron would be his mouthpiece. Moses could not say no to God.

Well I thank God that the enemy is a defeated foe. He has no power to stop us from reaching our destiny. Even though I might feel so overwhelmed at times by the attacks and resistance, the truth was the enemy was losing his grip with each attack and opposition. He is a defeated foe. He cannot stop us from gaining ground. He cannot stop God from breaking those chains and stronghold in our lives.

Besides I am really grateful that my family is with me in this journey. My hubby is a God loving man and we are in agreement regarding the things of God. Bible says that where two can agree on anything on earth, it will be done by God in heaven. Such is the power of agreement. Two is better than one. One can put a thousand to flight but two can put ten thousand to flight.

When challenges come our way, we stand together as one to face those challenges together. The unity and power of one heart and mind. Besides we are confident that God is on our side so we cannot lose. In fact we always have the upper hand because God will turn all things out for our good. I was reminded of how resurrection power is greater than power of creation. How God and man had become a gainer through Christ's sacrifice and resurrection.

We now have a sure foundation for salvation even when we sin as we know Jesus' blood always cleanses. We can have peace with God and have the peace of God. Or else if Adam didn't sin, the entire world would be hanging on a thin thread. We could be enjoying paradise on earth but based on Adam's obedience which was so shaky. Christ is the perfect man who died to pay for all our sins. God is forever satisfied. No wonder Pastor said Resurrection Sunday is the most important day in his view.