When the stars align

Sometime ago I asked the Lord why when nothing happens, there is not a single ripple. But when God spoke the Word, something starts moving and then everything (that was stuck for a long while) seems to happen all around the same time. When God pours out His blessing, it will not just manifest in one area of your life. It will overflow to other areas. So when you see things starting to move in one area of your life, get ready because other areas will follow suit.

I asked the Lord why not space out the fulfillment of His promises so that some seasons are not so boring, just plain waiting...and some seasons are so full of action and excitement, sometimes a little too overwhelming for us. God showed me the answer in an encyclopedia that I was reading to Joshua. The question is 'How does a key unlock a door?' The answer is simple yet profound. A lock has a number of tiny bolts with springs and pins on them. When the right key is inserted, the pins all come into line (reminds me of the stars aligning) so that the key can be turned. That releases the lock mechanism holding the door shut. When that is done, the door opens. Each key must be cut in such a way that it will make the pins align precisely with the shear line.

Isn't it amazing? God even hides His truths in man's inventions! When you see things start falling into place, it is because God has already spoken. When He speaks, He acts. When He acts, things move fast and supernatural door opens. Signs and wonders follow the Word. Hence certain things must happen because God is aligning things so that the 'pins' can come in line at His precise timing and location. When this alignment happens, there is a powerful force that is loosed. The key can then be turned and the lock mechanism that was holding the door shut had to be released. When that is done, we see an open door. This door is the gateway to His avalanche of blessings and for some of us, it is the door to our divine destiny. For others, it could be God positioning you nearer to your divine destiny.

Success is when God places you at the right place at the right time. When that happens, you will give birth to all your dreams and desires. Bondages fall off and the desires of your heart manifest. You start to see fruits manifesting in your life, especially in areas that used to be barren for a long time. When the stars align, something remarkable is going to happen. It means that you should watch as the days unfold because things are going to get more interesting. Things that are impossible in the natural happen right before your eyes!

Worship Anointing

In mid-Aug, my aunt gave Joshua the keyboard that her daughter had been using. They have now bought a piano for her so she had no need for the keyboard anymore. We are intending to send Joshua for piano lessons so that he can learn how to play music since now there is a keyboard at home and neither Heng nor I know how to use it. Thank God that Joshua has also indicated his interest in learning piano! We don't want to force him to learn music if he doesn't want to.

Anyway, when we brought the keyboard home, I was fiddling with it, trying to make some 'joyful noise' out of it. However, I am a total music nuts. You won't believe that I was in the school band for 4 years and I played the trumpet without knowing how to sight read. Amazing right? By the grace of God I got by those years but I totally hated music after that. I joined the band because my gang of friends all joined the band in Secondary One and I did not want to be left out.

I remembered not paying attention during music theory lessons and now I regret it. As Heng passed me the worship music scores, those notes were staring at me, maybe they know me but I certainly don't know them! But I remembered years ago in my old church, there was a worship musician who was very good in playing the piano. She could play the melody of any worship songs just by listening to it. Wow! I was secretly asking the Lord if I could have that anointing to play music. I did not think it was possible then...how could a music illiterate person like me play like that!

Well, as I fiddled with the keyboard, God reminded me of this prayer. Hence I asked the Lord again for His worship anointing. I know that with God, all things are possible. The amazing thing happened! I started to recognise the sound of each note and was able to play a simple tune like 'Jesus loves me'. Then I tried to sight read and play the worship songs. Even though I still did not know which note is A, B or C, I found out that it did not matter so long as I could recognise the sound that note made on the keyboard.

And so, playing the music with the music scores became instintive to me. I started to 'feel' the keys on the keyboard and learnt to play accordingly. After a while I did not even have to look at keyboard while playing. I just focused on the music scores. I really cannot describe my joy when I found that I could play the melody of songs like 'Here', 'I See Grace' and 'I Sing Hosanna'. (These are all songs by New Creation Church). Not only that, I realised I could roughly play the tune of 'How Great is Our God' without looking at the music scores.  God really did the impossible! I know I have just begun in the world of worship but God said 'Don't despise the day of small beginnings!'

Music is such a powerful vessel to reach people. It really can touch the hearts of people without them realising it. When I worship, I cannot be distracted by worldly things. I am totally wrapped up in the presence of Jesus. It is so consuming that even after I stopped playing, the songs lingered in my head. And I find that as I worship, I made myself very happy in the Lord. The Lord has brought me to a whole new level of fellowshiping with Him and I look forward to times of greater intimacy with my Jesus through worship. God is really so good to me...He is faithful, He remembers prayers that even I have forgotten! To God be the glory!

Balancing Motherhood and Work (Part II)

In my previous post, I talked about the difficulties that mothers faced in balancing work and parenting. I also mentioned that the root cause of this issue of declining fertility rates is about the value systems of the individual and the family. In this sequel, I just wanted to share more about my personal experiences in balancing motherhood and work.

I remembered I used to laugh at one of my Junior College friend when she said God has called her to be a homemaker. I felt that it was a total waste of her university education but she said it would not go down the drain. She could use what she had learnt to pass on to her children in future. At that time, young as I was, I certainly did not think too much about parenting. I don't remember that I wanted to have children back then. I just graduated and the world was my oyster.

After I gave birth to Joshua, I took maternity and no-pay leave for a year to take care of him. When I went back to work, I always felt there was a struggle. I liked my job and the interaction with colleagues but sometimes the work stress got into me and I allowed myself to be affected. At times I felt like I was physically with my son but my mind was miles away. Even going on part-time employment did not help much because the responsibility and the work stress was still there.

It came to a point I really missed those times I could stay home and take care of Joshua. Afterall, they are small only once and if I missed his growing up years, there would be no turning back. For me and my hubby, having children is not just a natural progression after marriage or because other couples are having children. From the scriptures, we see that it is God's will for us to be fruitful and multiply. We also know that it is His desire for us to have godly offsprings. And so, we felt that the mother is in the best position to bring the child up in the ways of the Lord.

It never crossed my mind to be a full-time mum but slowly my desire to be a stay-home mum grew each day... I found out that God has called me to be a happy mother of children at home in the next season of my life. I don't know how long this home-staying season would be but I certainly know that staying on in the workforce would be a constant struggle for me. And so I prayed for God to speak to my hubby to be supportive and for the correct timing to resign.

It was certainly not an easy decision because it would mean that our household income is halved. But I know that when God calls, He will provide. In fact, He provided exceedingly and abundantly through the form of additional income from our flat rental, just in time before He prompted me to resign. He also took care of my parents, who were initially against the idea of me staying home to look after Joshua. Afterall they found it a waste for me to stay home after completing a university education.  I assured them that it was only for a season but I could not say when I would be going back to work...

And so, it has been more than 1.5 years that I have been a happy mother at home. I must say that it is the most fulfilling time of my life. Even so, sometimes I have to deal with my parents and relatives asking me 'Don't you think it is a waste for you not to work?' My hubby was sharing with his colleagues the other day that he is very appreciative of the fact that I am staying home to take care of Joshua. He felt that it was a sacrifice on my part because I could definitely make a mark for myself in the corporate world. He told his colleagues he would not take me for granted.

I really thank God that my hubby appreciates me for staying home. But really, I do not feel it is a sacrifice at all. I felt it is a privilege to not work and stay home to take care of my children. I know of some mothers who envy those who could stay home. Of course, from the economic perspective, it is certainly not productive for graduate mothers like me to stay home and not contribute to the economy.  But if one confines the contribution to full-time employment, then the definition would be too narrow. This period of staying home has been a turning point in my life. I would never have written and published my book if I was still holding a full-time job. I would never have realised my dream of being an author.

So you see, staying home opens up other employment opportunities for mothers. I know some have started their on-line businesses or done freelancing work or turned to writing like me. But this would not have happened if I had not taken the step to quit full-time work to stay home. People may think that once you stay home, that is the end of your career. Well, not for me...it is the beginning of another wonderful vocation that God has planned for me!

Balancing Motherhood with Work (Part I)

Recently this topic about increasing the fertility rate of Singaporeans has been hot. This is because the total fertility rate has dropped to 1.2 child per woman, far below the replacement rate of 2.1 children per woman. Singapore is facing an issue of an ageing population and the government has been scratching its head to find ways to encourage citizens to get married and have more children.

Of course it is not an easy task for the government to hit the jackpot on the right policy...if past policies had been proved successful, it would have worked ten years ago. The government tried many different ways to encourage its people to have more babies. Over the decade, baby bonuses, longer maternity and childcare leave had been dangled to achieve this end. However, the results are not forthcoming in that the fertility rate still did not improve much.

Thus it goes to show that perhaps the issue is much bigger than that of financing and maternity/ childcare leave. Because this issue of balancing motherhood with work existed ten years ago and today women are still struggling with that. It is not just about having children. It is about bringing them up and hoping to give them the best education so that they can have a good start in life.

There needs to be a mindset change. Not only with the employers and also with the couples. Though the mindset towards women needing to take time off to give birth and take care of their young babies is changing, I would still say that the overall working environment in Singapore is not very conducive for working mothers. I certainly believe that many employers are trying their best to provide a good work-life balance for mothers but in reality, this is hard to practise.

As a result, mothers are often faced with the constant guilt of not being able to put in 100% of their time in their work and also not giving their children 100% of their time. With the exception of those families with very good support system (grandparents taking care of their kids), many mothers struggle in this area. Of course, having good childcare services help but when the child falls sick, the parents have to scramble to take leave of absence to take care of the child at home.

The parenting and household responsibilities could be lightened with the help of a maid or domestic helper. In fact, many households with young children engage a maid...yet for some parents who are uncomfortable with maids minding their kids or with the notion of a stranger living with them, this option is not available. Afterall, there are simply too many horror stories about maids and a good, trustworthy maid is really hard to come by.

Hence the decision to have children is not an easy one. Because it is not just about giving birth but bringing up the child for the next 20 years. It is a long term commitment. And most couples want the best for their kids so they plan this carefully. Some women do not wish to give up the career they love for their kids and hence they decide not to have any children or they stop at one child. On the other hand, some women want to be able to stay home to take care of their child but that would mean the household income is halved, so it became tougher to plan for a second child.

So it seems like part-time employment is the best solution for mums. It offers them the ability to be financially independent, to socialise with others apart from their kids, to continue with the job they love etc. At the same time it offers them flexibility to spend time with their kids when it really matters. However, not all companies and not all types of work are structured in such a way that part-time employment could be offered. Besides, the supporting systems still need to be present for this to work: supportive bosses, colleagues, good childcare arrangements etc.

In the final analysis, it all boils down to personal and family value systems. I really don't see how childbearing is a national issue to most couples. People don't just have kids to raise national fertility rates or in response to a government policy. A couple has to decide what is best for their family. They have to weigh the pros and cons of their decision.

Not every woman is suitable to stay home. While it is heaven on earth for one, it could be hell on earth for another. And even for the woman who desires to be a stay home mum, she still needs the support of her hubby. Staying home could be for a season when the kids are small but there is no guarantee that she could integrate into the workforce in future. For the one who chooses to stay in the workforce, she has to remember not to blame herself for that decision because it is a collective family decision.

For the government, I feel that while it is a tall task, it is worthy to re-look at the value system that our country has been inculcating in our education systems and at home. That to me, is the root of the issue.

The differences between law & grace

Law	Grace
·         Law demands. When you are married to Mr Law, he expects everything to be done to perfection but he never lifts a finger to help you.  Every 'i' must be dotted and every 't' must be crossed.	·         Grace supplies. When you are married to Mr Grace (represented by Jesus), He does not place any demand on you because He loves you. Yet He does everything for you so that you don't need to lift a finger to do it yourself.
·         Law puts the focus on yourself and your efforts. When you feel that you got to do it if not everything will crash, it means you are under law. Law makes you responsible for your own success or failure. Do good get good, do bad get beat.	·         Grace puts the focus on Jesus and His finished work on the cross. Grace takes the pressure off you. As you look at Jesus’ finished work, you will realise that all you need to do has already been taken care of by Jesus.
·         Law makes you labour and you cannot rest. The effects of being under law are toilsome labour, constant worry and restlessness. Yet after all the effort put in, the results are not as forthcoming.	·         Grace causes you to be at rest and peace. The result of righteousness is quietness and confident trust (Isa 32:17). You can rest knowing that our Almighty God is fighting the battles for us and victory belongs to us.
·         Law is natural. Because of Adam’s sin, we are bound to this fallen world that constantly rejects Jesus. We want to do everything by ourselves. Flesh is second nature to us and there is this strong lure to do something to save ourselves. You can hear the gospel of grace 10 times but the law once and you are back under law.	·         Grace is supernatural and goes against the grain of this world. Grace is undeserved and unmerited favour of God. It is about all of God and none of our efforts. Grace is a Person. Grace is Jesus. John 1:17 says that the law was by Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus.
·         It is difficult to love the law: cold hard tablets of commandments. The law condemns you when you fail to meet its standards but never praises you when you do well. Law is impersonal: it is about following a set of 'do's and 'don't's.	·         It is difficult not to love grace (Jesus) for grace forgives the worst sinner. Jesus never condemns us for all our sins are paid for at the cross. Even when we fail, Jesus still tells us ‘it is ok’. Grace is about a relationship with our loving Saviour.
·         Law may seem to yield immediate results but the results are not enduring.	·         Grace may seem slow but the results are sure and the fruits are lasting.
·         When you are under law, you feel insecure because you will never know when you miss the mark and come under judgment.	·         Grace makes you secure in Christ because it is not about our performance that matters. It is who we are in Christ and what Christ has done for us that matters.