Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Balancing Motherhood with Work (Part I)

Recently this topic about increasing the fertility rate of Singaporeans has been hot. This is because the total fertility rate has dropped to 1.2 child per woman, far below the replacement rate of 2.1 children per woman. Singapore is facing an issue of an ageing population and the government has been scratching its head to find ways to encourage citizens to get married and have more children.

Of course it is not an easy task for the government to hit the jackpot on the right policy...if past policies had been proved successful, it would have worked ten years ago. The government tried many different ways to encourage its people to have more babies. Over the decade, baby bonuses, longer maternity and childcare leave had been dangled to achieve this end. However, the results are not forthcoming in that the fertility rate still did not improve much.

Thus it goes to show that perhaps the issue is much bigger than that of financing and maternity/ childcare leave. Because this issue of balancing motherhood with work existed ten years ago and today women are still struggling with that. It is not just about having children. It is about bringing them up and hoping to give them the best education so that they can have a good start in life.

There needs to be a mindset change. Not only with the employers and also with the couples. Though the mindset towards women needing to take time off to give birth and take care of their young babies is changing, I would still say that the overall working environment in Singapore is not very conducive for working mothers. I certainly believe that many employers are trying their best to provide a good work-life balance for mothers but in reality, this is hard to practise.

As a result, mothers are often faced with the constant guilt of not being able to put in 100% of their time in their work and also not giving their children 100% of their time. With the exception of those families with very good support system (grandparents taking care of their kids), many mothers struggle in this area. Of course, having good childcare services help but when the child falls sick, the parents have to scramble to take leave of absence to take care of the child at home.

The parenting and household responsibilities could be lightened with the help of a maid or domestic helper. In fact, many households with young children engage a maid...yet for some parents who are uncomfortable with maids minding their kids or with the notion of a stranger living with them, this option is not available. Afterall, there are simply too many horror stories about maids and a good, trustworthy maid is really hard to come by.

Hence the decision to have children is not an easy one. Because it is not just about giving birth but bringing up the child for the next 20 years. It is a long term commitment. And most couples want the best for their kids so they plan this carefully. Some women do not wish to give up the career they love for their kids and hence they decide not to have any children or they stop at one child. On the other hand, some women want to be able to stay home to take care of their child but that would mean the household income is halved, so it became tougher to plan for a second child.

So it seems like part-time employment is the best solution for mums. It offers them the ability to be financially independent, to socialise with others apart from their kids, to continue with the job they love etc. At the same time it offers them flexibility to spend time with their kids when it really matters. However, not all companies and not all types of work are structured in such a way that part-time employment could be offered. Besides, the supporting systems still need to be present for this to work: supportive bosses, colleagues, good childcare arrangements etc.

In the final analysis, it all boils down to personal and family value systems. I really don't see how childbearing is a national issue to most couples. People don't just have kids to raise national fertility rates or in response to a government policy. A couple has to decide what is best for their family. They have to weigh the pros and cons of their decision.

Not every woman is suitable to stay home. While it is heaven on earth for one, it could be hell on earth for another. And even for the woman who desires to be a stay home mum, she still needs the support of her hubby. Staying home could be for a season when the kids are small but there is no guarantee that she could integrate into the workforce in future. For the one who chooses to stay in the workforce, she has to remember not to blame herself for that decision because it is a collective family decision.

For the government, I feel that while it is a tall task, it is worthy to re-look at the value system that our country has been inculcating in our education systems and at home. That to me, is the root of the issue.

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