MY BLOG'S EIGHTH ANNIVERSARY

For the past few months I had been busy preparing Joshua for his primary school leaving exams (PSLE) in end Sep and early Oct. What a great relief it was when his exams finally were over on 3 Oct! It had been so intense for the past few months, especially the few weeks leading up to the exams. Once the written papers started, things moved even faster. But towards the end of the written exams, we were out of steam and could not wait for the exams to end. Thank God that it had been a relatively stress free year preparing for PSLE. If not for the grace of God, it would have been so much worse and stressful.

After the exams, we went on a cruise holiday last week. It was a busy but fun-filled trip. So it was only today that I was reminded by a dear sister that my blog turned eight today. I haven't even been tracking it for the past few years. The last time she reminded me was when my blog turned five in 2015. How time flies! I had not been active blogging especially this year. I was busy internalizing what the Lord had taught me for the past year. So much revelation that He has poured into me. Maybe it is about time that God wants me to start blogging about these revelation. 

In fact, some time ago I read Doug Addison's book on dream interpretations and I started getting understanding about my dreams. I always had dreams since I was young but I didn't understand what they meant. Last year I began having dreams more frequently and some of them were warning dreams. As I received revelation from the Lord about my dreams, I became more in the flow. I learnt that God also speaks to us in our dreams, though not all of them symbolised something. But if a dream was recurring, then most likely God is trying to get a message across to you.

And so for the past few months, I had been practicing dream interpretation for people around me. I believe that their dreams hold the key to their breakthrough. The interpretation from God about their dreams bore witness with their spirits. Some of their dreams pointed to a deeper root cause of bitterness or unforgiveness. It was always so exciting to hear of dreams and receive the understanding of it. As such, I was prompted by the Spirit to share this gift with my viewers. If you have a dream that you cannot understand yet you feel it is important, you can email me and I will ask God for the interpretation. Remember I am here to help you. My email is avinlee77@gmail.com

KOREAN DRAMA: CHIEF KIM

I thought about the Korean drama titled 'Chief Kim' that we just finished watching. It was such a good drama of justice and repayment. As I was going through the plot, I felt there was such a similarity to the spiritual warfare that we had fought. Initially the evil forces seemed all too formidable to oppose as this guy Chief Lee tried to expose their evil deeds and got framed instead. He nearly lost his life and ended up in a coma.

Then this crazy guy named Chief Kim came on the scene. He was not righteous in the beginning as he had been helping thugs evade taxes by manipulating the books. He was engaged by this guy named Seo Yul to help cover up the crimes in a company named TQ Group. Later through a series of accidental twists, Chief Kim ended up as the good guy. The righteous streak in his DNA was awakened as his dad was a poor but righteous guy.

Initially the fight was between Seo Yul and Chief Kim. Seo Yul tried to get rid of him under the orders of the Chairman. But Seo Yul was not totally evil at heart. He just didn't like to lose so he would use underhanded means to deal with Chief Kim. In the first round Chief Kim lost because he tried to fight using the orthodox way. After that failure, he decided to revert to his 'thug' ways to deal with Seo Yul.

Seo Yul used the people whom Chief Kim cared about, his colleagues to get at him. Chief Kim initially felt guilty that his colleagues were implicated because of him but after they supported him, he got back on his feet. It was quite a low blow which he nearly gave up doing the right things. After this rebound, Chief Kim became stronger and more resolved to see that justice was served to the weak and powerless.

The very first breakthrough they obtained was that of the payment of wages to the part-timers in mini marts. The Chairman had to apologise to them in public in addition to making restitution. The key to this victory was they had alliances and access to important evidence of fraud that allowed the part-timers to sue the company. But this victory pissed the Chairman off who then ordered Chief Kim to be killed.

It was a good thing that Seo Yul overheard the conversation and saved Chief Kim's life. He was despicable but not to the extent of evil. He could not watch while a man dies. Even though they were still on opposing sides, this event marked the beginning of Seo Yul's turning point. Later on Chief Kim obtained strategic evidence from the cues that Chief Lee left behind on how the previous audits were fraudulent. This was a big blow to the enemy.

Yet the battle to defeat the enemy was far from over. They had made much progress, gained much grounds but now they were going on the offensive. They were trying to nail down the Chairman with decisive evidence. However the Chairman sought help from an influential political figure who was able to stop the prosecution. He tasked his manager to cover up the fraud. So Chief Kim and his team were dealt with another blow when their efforts seemed to be in vain.

Yet they didn't give up and sought to find out the person behind all these opposition. They had to break the evil alliance. Once they did that, they could render the Chairman without a strong backbone. So the Chairman had no other way out but to flee. Seo Yul and Chief Kim managed to catch him at the nick of time. Even in jail, the Chairman was still trying to wash himself off the crimes by threatening and cutting deals with others. He wanted to make them scapegoats.

The prosecution still could not convict him because they needed evidence of his slush funds. The Chairman gave the secret bank account in Switzerland to his son who then provided the information to Chief Kim. Not only that he transferred $100m from the slush fund to help the company which was facing a crisis. That helped to turn the situation around and prevented hundreds from losing their jobs. And the Chairman was sentenced to 22 years in jail. The team could finally celebrate their success.

So what did I learn from this drama? Firstly never give up. Even when you made a mistake and there was some negative consequence, don't condemn yourself. Just dust it off and move on. Get back on your feet. It is not the end. It is not over until you have the victory. Secondly, be wise as a serpent when dealing with the enemy. Don't be naïve and don't show mercy for the enemy will never show you any mercy. Give the enemy a taste of his own medicine.

Thirdly you need to have divine alliances. Chief Kim could never have been able to do it all by himself. The enemy is too formidable for one person and requires us to form alliances to defeat him. It is a teamwork. Fourthly you have to obtain strategies and key information about the enemy's next move. I have observed in this drama and Empress Ki that success lies in anticipating and counteracting the enemy's next move. Usually there are precedents to how the enemy would react so it won't be a surprise.

Fifth, there is always a fight of faith. Don't expect the enemy to sit around and do nothing after your first few victories. Always be on the alert and pray even after victory. The enemy likes to counter attack especially after your first breakthrough. In fact at some point the enemy will try to take you down. But if he can't, he will try to cut deals with you. Don't fall for his trick. He will not make good on his promise.

When you begin to gain momentum on your advances, go on the offensive. Continue to attack the enemy with your spiritual weapons and don't relent. Go all out, cooperate with God and totally annihilate the enemy if possible. Don't show him any mercy. He never did when he tried to take your life remember? It is important to seek the Lord for strategies to deal with the enemy. Such strategic information will help you preempt and prepare for the enemy's next move and your counterattack.

In the past you might be often caught off guard and left confused by his attacks. But no more in this season! The Lord cleared the fog so you could see more clearly and He is downloading heavenly strategies to you so you can be always one step ahead of the enemy. You will no longer be caught unaware. Go forth in the power of the Lord!

THANK GOD FOR HENG'S PROMOTION!

This has been a long awaited thanksgiving. In fact during last July, there had been talk about Heng taking over the Finance Director SG portfolio from his colleague. His bosses took a while to sort things out but eventually on 23 Aug 2017, they decided to let Heng try out the position. Hence he was made Acting Finance Director on 1 Sep 2017 and put on probation until end Dec 2017. If he proved to be competent for the job, the company would then confirm his appointment.

Thank God that they confirmed his appointment on 10 Jan 2018 but his employment terms and conditions remained the same until the annual salary review in April. Just yesterday he received his promotion letter with the salary increment. In addition to that, God surprised us with a bonus payout this year as the company was doing better. Last year the bonus was very little but thank God this year it was much more as Heng also got a good performance grading.

It was a restoration as Heng didn't receive any bonus for the past two years. Not only that our finances were under attack and we had been feeling the stretch for the past season. There were times when we had to dip into our savings. Yet God never failed to provide us when the need arose. Heng's dad won lottery a few times and blessed us with some of his winnings. God is so good to us. We were never in lack though our finances were stretched.

Heng's appointment as Finance Director was really the favour of God as he had only been in the company for less than six months before he was given the opportunity to take on this position. Previously he was just a senior manager. Yet God already had plans to promote Heng as early as May 2014. There were talks of putting Heng up as regional Finance Director in his old company but this was met with much opposition. Thank God that His plan always prevails!

Nearly four years later, Heng finally came into position. It hadn't been an easy four years for Heng in terms of his career but God is faithful. He promised that after we have gone through the fire and the water, He will bring us to a broad place of abundance (Psalms 66:12) and He really did so! We are now seeing the after math of those storms and attacks we had been through in the past season. It had been such a tough season but finally it had passed. God is now bringing us into a season of harvest, of restoration, of dreams come true. He is making the enemy repay us for the injustice and troubles brought into our lives.

WHAT PLEASES GOD?

Recently I was impressed upon this thought. What are our actions that will please God? I realised it when Joshua responded in a certain way and I felt very pleased. Then I remembered how God must have felt when I responded in the same way to Him.

For example, when Joshua asked me for advice for his science exam, like any tips for him, I was pleasantly surprised. Of course I was more than happy to share some tips with him. Then I saw that when we humble ourselves like a child and ask God for wisdom, He is very pleased with us. He never fails to answer me when I go to Him at the end of myself, saying 'Lord I don't know what to do but my eyes are on You.'

Another thing that pleases God is having a heart of thanksgiving. I am very pleased when Joshua shows appreciation for the things we do for him. Be it big or small like cooking a meal for him. I love it when I see his eyes sparkle when we plan a staycation for him or bring him on a holiday. I love to see him happy and giving thanks for the things we blessed him with.

God is so good. He always reminds me to do good to myself and to pamper myself. He isn't afraid that I will become a selfish spoilt brat. He knows I am not like that. He is very pleased when He sees me happy, enjoying my life, without having a care in this world. Just like any parent would do for their kids, God also loves to surprise me. He loves to hide certain things from me and then pop that surprise to see how I react.

I also noticed that God loves interaction or fellowship with us. Like when we ask Him questions or be bold with Him. Bible tells us that we have not because we ask not. Many of us may have placed obedience on a higher importance than fellowship so when God told us to do certain things, we dared not ask Him why. Actually we are not undermining His authority when we ask Him questions. Know that God isn't intimidated by our questions.

Joshua loves to ask questions. Although I cannot give him an answer all the time, I still encourage him to ask. It is through his questions that I understand how he thinks or feels about certain issue. Sometimes it would be hard to get him to talk when I ask him questions. But when he asks me questions, I will take the opportunity to also ask him certain things. It was more fun this way. More interaction.

I also think that God is pleased when we carry His heart. When we think of Him. Just like some of you, when a particular child does something really sweet for you, your heart will be endeared to that child though you love all your children the same. God really loves it when He sees the hunger in our hearts for His presence, more than anything else in the world. There is nothing He won't do for people who can tug at His heartstrings like that.

Another thing that pleases God is having a teachable spirit. It is ok to make mistakes but when God disciplines or corrects us, we have to be willing to accept it and change our mind. That is repentance. Not going to the other extreme of feeling so condemned and guilty about making that mistake. If that was the case, we would not be able to change our ways. I always tell Joshua I will not be too hard on him if he makes mistakes. But if he is stubborn about his ways, still thinks he is right and keeps arguing with me, I will be very upset. I told him I wanted him to have a teachable spirit. 

Last but not least, God is pleased when we give Him the glory. He is so good. He always gives us the credit when it is all Him. He first puts the desire in our hearts, then gives us the grace and strength to do the thing He placed on us. When the desire came to pass, He thanked us for doing it when it was all Him. I found it pleasing when I asked Joshua whether he thought it was his own smarts that got him the good grades and his answer was 'no, it wasn't my own smarts but God helping me and mummy coaching me.'

LEARNING TO BE ROYALTY

I was so drawn to this book 'Supernatural ways of royalty' by Kris Vallotton when it was first launched. I read the preview of it on kindle. Since it was only USD9, I decided to buy it. I had always been drawn to topics on royalty. This was what God was teaching me all these years. More than just the spirit of sonship, God also wanted us to think and live like royalty.

He kept telling me that I am a princess. And all these years God has been changing my mind from a poverty mindset to one of abundance. I read in this book many things that bear witness with my heart. It was like putting into words what I always felt. There was so much life when I read this book.

It's true that a poverty mentality is the primary attribute of a pauper. They always believe that there is never going to be enough for them. They live in constant fear, struggling with the feeling that the well is about to dry up. But God never intended for us to live in poverty in any area of our life.

Paupers always feel that resources are limited. When someone else receives something, they think it takes away some of their provisions. People can have a lot of money or things but still feel insecure inside, fearing that something could happen and they will lose it all. The pauper acquires money or things and tends to get their identity from those things.

Princes don't get their identity from what they have because they know their identity isn't dependent on their performance or possessions. Princes own things but they never let things own them. The result is they are able to enjoy the worry free life Jesus promised.

This was exactly how I felt at times. I was raised in a poor family. At times we hardly have money to put food on the table. This didn't give me much security when growing up but I learnt to save up and live frugally. I also learnt about delayed gratification and spending within my means, not incurring debts.

Growing up I didn't have many toys or clothing but I didn't seem to mind it. I was still grateful for the hand-me-downs. At a young age I knew how to encourage myself to study hard, get a good job in future then I could have the money to buy the nice things. My family background, my past didn't disqualify me from having a good life in future. Hence I wasn't resentful of my background or ashamed of my parents. If they had a choice they also wouldn't choose such a life.

I wasn't a child of God then but deep down inside me I knew I wasn't defined by what my parents had or what I had. I was searching for the purpose of life at a young age. Surely Someone put me here for a reason. I must be significant to Him enough to be born on this earth. Because of this knowing, I was a secure child. I wasn't jealous when other kids had toys or stuff that I didn't have. This didn't bother me.

But I was a self-driven person, even after knowing Christ. I studied hard and worked hard to have a decent living. I didn't want to rely on others or borrow for food. So I had to learn to save up at a young age. My reluctance to spend was sometimes disguised under a justification of being good steward of God's money. But it was far from that reason. Deep down the poverty mindset was still in operation.

What if I spend so much now and later I don't have enough? What if I need the money for a rainy day as it happened one day to my mum's family? What if something happened and I lose it all? It showed up my insecurity, that my trust was never fully in God's provision. That's the reason why I save and shrimp every single dollar I received.

Like a squirrel I hoard and hoard. Even when God blessed us financially there will be this voice that tells me not to buy this dress as it isn't worth so much. My heart is drawn to the lovely dress but my head tells me that I can get better deals elsewhere. Sometimes it could be because I felt like I didn't deserve such an expensive dress. The money was better spent elsewhere. Or on someone else.

Then I experienced hopes deferred because I would go on a futile hunt for something less expensive but I didn't like as much. At times I would end up buying something cheaper or more 'worth my money' yet I didn't feel fulfilled as it was a compromise. I would then wonder if I bought the expensive dress would I feel more fulfilled. The value I place on the dress was often determined by whether I felt like I deserved to be pampered.

Of course there would be those rare times that I didn't think so much and I just bought what I liked despite the price tag. Mostly I would feel very happy for my longing was fulfilled, yet there would be this niggling question of whether it was really worth the money. Yes, even after I bought it I would still wonder if I made the right choice! How contradicting I am, right!

This was all a pre-conditioning since I started working. That voice from my mum that nagged at the things I bought for myself, questioning if I really needed that many pieces of clothing for work and making me feel guilty for not spending my money on her instead. But really what was so wrong with me spending my own money? It wasn't as if I didn't give her any allowance.

Later I felt indignant when I saw how my mum could allow my brothers to not give her allowance after they spent the money on themselves. I was sure that she too nagged at them but the guilt trap didn't work on them. Not in the least bit. They rationalised that since my parents had the money to travel so frequently they must still have some money. So the constant lament that they have no money was a hoax.

Years later, after I became a stay-home mum, I started spending other people's money. Heng's money. It was money that I didn't even deserve to spend since I did not work for it. So what was I to do? That was when God began to transform my mind. To understand and know what is His grace. To be able to receive something that I don't deserve. It was not easy for a person like me to not work for something and spend it.

I am still in the process of mind renewal. I am not exactly there yet but I am getting better. At least nowadays I am not so stingy on myself. I will make an effort to buy things that I set my eyes on, provided the prices are not too extravagant. Once in a while I will splurge on myself if I find things I really like. It will be like a treat from my Abba God.

HOW TO GET OUT OF A RUT

I came across this question in Doug Addison's book 'Flipping Your Financial Future'. How do people get a breakthrough when they have been stuck in a rut for a really long time? Doug replied that usually someone who is stuck almost always have a negative atmosphere around them. And a negative spirit which is always complaining. All that you say bounces off them, such as there is no use, nothing I do will help.

They should come into agreement with someone. Get someone to agree with them in prayer. They need to get around positive faith-filled people who are like spiritual explosives in order to get this thing unstuck. Also to take a step. Start taking holy communion every single day. Doug did this when he was sick and he suffered for two years. But he didn't fall into the sickness and gotten healed eventually. Begin to ask God to show you what the enemy does not want you to see and then take steps forward.

This topic struck a chord in my spirit because there was a time when I was stuck. I knew I was circling the same mountain year after year but I couldn't help it. I totally hated the long wait and got frustrated each time my hopes were raised then dashed. The disappointments were beginning to lodge into my spirit and I started to become bitter. Upset with God. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired yet I was helpless. I didn't know what to do. It seemed like nothing helped. No amount of praying, binding, loosing, decreeing and confessing worked. It was a downward spiral.

Things became worse as time passed. The longer the time elapsed, the deeper the stronghold. It was true that someone stuck in a rut almost always have a negative spirit or atmosphere around them. At one point I was so disillusioned about this issue that I would have heartaches and pain just thinking about this promise.  I even asked myself numerous times if it was worth the wait, worth the heartaches. I really wanted to give up waiting for the promise.

When my thoughts were so negative you can imagine my speech. It was all negative confessions of why we had to wait so long for this promise. Even Joshua corrected me saying if I kept saying wait so long then the longer I would have to wait. It was a self-defeating cycle. Deep down in my heart I really didn't want to wait but my heart was too calloused to have a positive confession of faith. I just could not believe that anything could work, not even faith.

So where was my turning point? I guess it was in 2014 when I pressed the reset button. I told God I was willing to go back to square one regarding this issue and start all over again. To put the past disappointments and heartaches behind me and to have a new beginning. Because the stronghold was deeply entrenched I had to renew my mind with His word. Going back to the word of God regarding this promise was a must.

The other thing which helped a lot was a change of environment. When God said He is coming to change the season, do something new in our lives, we have to align ourselves with His word. That means finding ways to do things differently. Be it a change of environment or making new friends. Even a change of hairstyle will help, just anything to get out of the routine. It also involves deliberately letting go of things from the past. This part is going to be tough because the past will always try to entangle you. Stop you from moving forward, being unstuck.

God also showed me who are the people in my life I should associate less with and who are the positive ones I should surround myself with. For the past two years He has been trying to get me to cut the ties with a friend but I was reluctant to let go of my comfort zone of sharing my life with her. I was afraid that I had no one else to share my life with. Eventually I had to let this friendship go last Dec. It wasn't as bad as I thought because of the new things God has been doing in my life.

I also tried to get out of the house more often and keep myself occupied. And I kept an open mind to try out new things this year. I knew I had come out of winter and spring was arriving so I decided to try new things. Like parent volunteer work and getting plugged into Joshua's school, his friends etc. I also got to make new friends with his classmates' mothers.

As I did so, I realised that strength was coming back to me. I felt less and less lethargic as spring kicked in. Little by little my season began shifting and things of my past slowly became a faint memory. Since last Christmas, I started taking note of how things were different for New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day, CNY and even our wedding anniversary. God was beginning to restore things in my life. Things really didn't look the same anymore.

As God shifted my season, I felt like my hope was also restored and I could dream again. Things that felt impossible to change in the past had began to change one by one. My thinking also got renewed. Slowly I no longer felt hopeless or heart pain when I think about this promise or the long wait. God began to fan into flames the dream by restoring hope in my heart. I slowly regained a faith picture of holding my promise in my hands.

Besides God convinced me that the long wait was finally over and I made it to my destination. I passed the test and I would be promoted. My appointed time has come so I wouldn't have to wait anymore. Time is now on my side. Guess what happened to my speech. It was no longer negative but I was aligning my words with the word of God, decreeing what He said about my situation. Barrenness was slowly being changed into fertility.

Another thing that God told me to do was to start taking communion on a daily basis like what Doug suggested. When He told me to do so in Aug 2016, I did it because I was sick and tired of seeing relentless attacks on my body. I wasn't thinking of getting unstuck or moving forward. I just wanted relief from those attacks. But I recalled Pastor said holy communion is a door of hope in the valley of trouble. It is God's ordained solution to provide a way out for us when we were tempted.

Coming into agreement with someone to contend for my breakthrough was also important. Other than Heng, I had another sister to stand in faith with me over this promise. At times she would have visions of God giving me this promise. This confirmation from a third party encouraged me greatly for I know I am not alone and I am not hearing God wrongly.

Praying in tongues helped us to go on the offensive instead of reacting when things happened. Doug advised us to ask God to show us what the enemy does not want us to see and then take steps forward. I found that when I prayed in tongues, my spirit was sensitised to what God was trying to say. It kind of opened up the heavens. Many times I averted the enemy's attacks when I prayed in tongues that I didn't know of. And there were times when the Lord showed me in advance the enemy's devices so I could pray against it.

I also think that having a thanksgiving heart also helps to get me out of a rut. Worship and thanksgiving always puts our focus back on Jesus, creating an atmosphere of faith that God can work in our lives. When our praise goes up, the answer comes down. Whenever God prompts me to praise Him, I would get excited because I know my breakthrough is very near.

Lastly God kept telling me to do good to myself, deny myself not the pleasures of life and to pamper myself. I experienced the power of a longing fulfilled instead of hopes deferred all the time. God put new desires in my heart and then fulfilled them. Each time my longing was fulfilled I felt like joy was being restored as well. My heart was so grateful because I felt the Father's love. I saw how it brought much joy to Him when He saw me happy. Joy is a powerful spirit. Like faith, it creates an atmosphere where we can easily receive from God.

Another thing I did to be good to myself was to stop forcing myself to do things I don't like. I learnt not to put myself under demands and obligations especially from others. I only do things when I am led by the Spirit or when I have the desire to do so. There is so much life when I obey the Spirit's prompting. And I stopped feeling guilty or condemned when I say no to such demands. It was a much more freeing way to live. In doing so I also became less affected by man's opinions.

Not only that the Lord taught me to speak up and stand for what is right even when it was very tough. Learning to do so was not easy but it really liberated me in so many ways. I used to be intimidated by fierce people and scared of confrontations. Now I am no longer the same. Giving vent to my standpoint allows me to be the person God made me. I don't feel lousy all the time because I constantly suppress my feelings and words. I am set free to speak my mind. This is a great liberation! I am not a victim but a victor. No pushover or doormat.

A MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH

I really want to thank God for a major breakthrough that occurred recently, during the Passover week. This matter was about an overdeduction of Heng's pay for Central Provident Fund (CPF) when he was still in the previous company. The company was required to make restitution in Nov 2016 and they did so for one entity. But for the entity that Heng was in, the payment was supposed to be voluntary as this matter had not surfaced to the CPF Board. The good thing was the company decided to also pay the employees in that entity. However the payment was delayed for a long while.

Even after Heng left the company in Feb 2017, this payment was still not made. Now we know this was a repayment for the overdeduction in Heng's salary so we didn't want to let it go. This money had Heng's name on it. There was a delay as the company had cash flow issues and asked to pay up only by end Mar 2018. There was a time during the wait when I felt this issue was immovable and I could not see how they would pay up. Hopes were raised and then dashed as there were further delays. Many times we felt so frustrated and upset over this issue.

Heng later found out that some employees had already received the restitution in Dec 2017. So we waited patiently till end Mar even though we hoped that God would expedite the entire process. On 26 Mar, Heng received news from the previous company. We were elated to hear from them finally! We thought that the contending, the fight of faith was finally over. But it was not over. On 30 Mar, which was the start of Passover and also Good Friday, something cropped up so Heng still could not receive the repayment. We were so pissed and frustrated.

It felt like the meat was already at our mouths but we still could not eat it. But we knew the enemy was desperate. It was a last ditch attempt to make Heng give up on the repayment. Heng likened this situation to the time when Pharaoh and his armies pursued Israel. If they didn't pursue, they wouldn't have perished. But because they did, they died a horrible death. So we prayed and bound the opposing forces in Jesus' name and asked God to loose the solution from Heaven. The next day God gave Heng a strategy to recover the money, which Heng set about doing.

I then realised that it was a good place to be in because shortly after that, God would open the Red Sea to let us cross over. Not only that God also would drown our enemies by closing up the Red Sea. The enemies we see today we will see no more. After our enemies perished, we could them plunder their spoils. It was a double win. Double restoration. I told Heng it wasn't a coincidence that this thing happened on Passover.

I was singing the song of deliverance from the cartoon movie 'Prince of Egypt' during those few days. I was telling Heng we should watch this movie again to remind us of how God delivered the Israelites and destroying the enemies. It was no coincidence that this movie was showing on TV that evening. God was reminding us that He is fighting our battle as we watched how the Egyptian armies were drowned by the Red Sea.

It was brought to my attention that Passover this year fell on Good Friday. It was again no coincidence. Something is very special this Passover. We are really crossing over to a new season, a new level. In fact, the Holy Spirit already alerted me to such opposing forces two weeks ago and had me pray in tongues more frequently last week. The Lord has already released strategies to getting a breakthrough this Passover.

So this recent event shouldn't come as a surprise to me. After all God had prepared me in advance for this opposition. He has given me the strategies to break this cycle of delay. Even so I was still feeling weary. At the end of the church service last Sunday, I told the Lord the battle belonged to Him. It had been such an intense weekend. We had come such a long way for the issue yet at the final stage the enemy was still trying to keep us from our restoration. At this point I was too tired to fight the enemy. I had already done what I knew to, so the rest was up to God.

Of course we would not give up as we were so close to breakthrough. But just the thought of having to press on for a while more, to handle another delay was unbearable. Yet we had come so far, waited 1.5 years, endured such a long delay so what was another few days of waiting? The end was already here. Besides it wasn't as if we needed the money. God is so good. During our Resurrection Sunday service, there was an video of a lion roaring which stuck in my mind. God was assuring me that the Lion of Judah was roaring over our roadblock so all would be well.

What happened on Monday was nothing short of a miracle. Heng did exactly what God put on his heart, said what he had to say to the company and God resolved it for him in that same day! So there was no more delay! Heng received the cheque on Tuesday and we happily banked in the cheque, giving thanks to the marvellous work the Lord had done for us. Indeed it was a tremendous breakthrough. What had seemed like an impossible mountain was finally removed by the Lord! 

Praise Jesus for His resurrection power!

RESURRECTION SUNDAY

Yesterday we celebrated Easter or Resurrection Sunday. The service was fantastic. Pastor showed the video on what happened at the cross. At the closing Pastor showed the video about Jesus cleansing the leper and healing him. I cried whenever I saw this video. So touched by Jesus' love and compassion.

One thing that struck me during this Easter was the power of His resurrection. How dry bones come alive. How the dead things get resurrected and bring forth new life. Ezekiel 37 prophecy. I had been seeing this prophecy spoken over 2018 since the start of this year. I believe Passover is the time this all begins to come to pass. Passover is a time of new beginnings after God delivered us from bondages.

Last night I couldn't sleep. I was thinking about the story of Moses and the exodus of the Israelites. I thought about how much opposition they had to go through before they were set free. And even till the last minute, Pharaoh still didn't want to let them go and chased after them. It was despicable. Serves the Egyptian army right to be drowned in the Red Sea!

I always thought the opposition only arose towards the end of their deliverance but last night the Lord showed me that wasn't the case. The resistance already began when Moses was born. Some 80 years ago. Remember how Pharaoh had the babies under two years old killed. Moses' mum had to hide him and give him away. It was a twist of fate that Moses grew up in the Egyptian palace.

He could possibly be swayed by the comfort and riches of the palace, forgetting about his calling. Nevertheless because he was nursed and taught by his birth mother since young, Moses didn't forget the sufferings of his people. Later on, the enemy tried to stop Moses from rising up to be the deliverer when he killed an Egyptian. He had to run away.

The 40 years in the wilderness was a real test for Moses. He could have given up all hopes of delivering his people. After all he was cut off and isolated for so many years. Maybe God has forgotten about him. But God didn't. All this while God was preparing Moses not to go in his own strength but the power of God. Well when the time came and God said Moses was ready, He came to Moses in a burning bush.

Moses totally didn't expect it and didn't feel adequate for the task. It was too enormous for him. Once again the enemy tried to stop Moses from rising up to his calling by pointing to his weakness and his guilt of murder. But God is greater than the opposing forces. He sent Moses to speak to Pharaoh with his brother Aaron. Aaron would be his mouthpiece. Moses could not say no to God.

Well I thank God that the enemy is a defeated foe. He has no power to stop us from reaching our destiny. Even though I might feel so overwhelmed at times by the attacks and resistance, the truth was the enemy was losing his grip with each attack and opposition. He is a defeated foe. He cannot stop us from gaining ground. He cannot stop God from breaking those chains and stronghold in our lives.

Besides I am really grateful that my family is with me in this journey. My hubby is a God loving man and we are in agreement regarding the things of God. Bible says that where two can agree on anything on earth, it will be done by God in heaven. Such is the power of agreement. Two is better than one. One can put a thousand to flight but two can put ten thousand to flight.

When challenges come our way, we stand together as one to face those challenges together. The unity and power of one heart and mind. Besides we are confident that God is on our side so we cannot lose. In fact we always have the upper hand because God will turn all things out for our good. I was reminded of how resurrection power is greater than power of creation. How God and man had become a gainer through Christ's sacrifice and resurrection.

We now have a sure foundation for salvation even when we sin as we know Jesus' blood always cleanses. We can have peace with God and have the peace of God. Or else if Adam didn't sin, the entire world would be hanging on a thin thread. We could be enjoying paradise on earth but based on Adam's obedience which was so shaky. Christ is the perfect man who died to pay for all our sins. God is forever satisfied. No wonder Pastor said Resurrection Sunday is the most important day in his view.

PUBLISHING RIGHTS RETURNED TO ME

Last July, Doug Addison was saying that there had been chains and contracts holding people back from many areas of their lives. Most people did not realise it. They had gotten used to operating within the limits placed upon them. God is removing the chains, the contracts and disarming the attacks against us.

He saw the angel with the contracts take them off to a blazing altar in the distance. The contracts and agreements that have held you back in the past were burned up in the fire of the Lord. As this was going on, new freedom was being released in the spirit. People's eyes were suddenly opening to things that happened long ago, things that needed to be broken off. As the new freedom came, they began to rejoice and worship God.

This was quite interesting as in Mar 2018, I received the letter from Charisma House confirming that the publishing rights for 'Beauty out of Ashes' were returned to me. It felt like God was removing the publishing contract and agreement. Though I was very sad when I had to buy back the remaining stocks of my books in Dec 2017, I knew that somehow this could be a contract that would hold me back in future. I just don't know it now. So I should rejoice and worship God because I have just been set free! It was a significant thing.

Recently I was thinking about this publishing issue. I realised that some sites are still selling my books while stocks last. And Creation House is still in operation. I also read some not so good review about this publishing house. So I decided to clarify with the staff.  He replied promptly to tell me they are closing down the co-publishing arm of the company, which is Creation House. But there are still outstanding contracts with some authors. When I went into the Charisma House website, I discovered that they no longer take in unsolicited manuscripts. The author has to go through a literary agent.

Suddenly the Lord made it clear to me why the contract was not to my benefit. I didn't know all these back in 2012. I was elated to be getting a publishing contract. Whether it was vanity publishing or not I didn't care. So long as I felt the price was reasonable I was okay to go with Creation House. Of course I was a little disappointed when I saw that it wasn't Charisma House. But it was fine as I had to start somewhere. I also trusted that the Lord was guiding my steps. The entire process with Creation House was very pleasant.

I didn't see it as a ripoff from the company by making me pay for the publishing cost. At least I got back 100 books. I spent more than $8000 for the co publishing and recently buying back my rights. I sold only 100 books at most which barely covered the cost. But then I felt it wasn't money lost to me. I saw it as an investment. Now I am more savvy when it comes to publishing as I know there are other cheaper options.

Besides the royalty was quite low and it didn't make sense that for ebooks, the royalty was 50%. Shouldn't it be at little or no cost to the publishing company? The Lord showed me that by buying back my books and my rights, I could actually earn more than just the royalties. So at least I could recoup some of the investment. I can sell my books at $10 and retain all of the proceeds. 

In future if I wanted to sell this as an ebook I could do so on another platform since I have the rights. It made sense for me to own the rights since I believe I paid for the majority of the publishing cost. In future if God made me famous as an author, I could go with another publishing house to reprint my first book. Hence I saw how all things work for my good.

I didn't see it back then. I thought God was shutting down the door to my writing ministry. I was so sad and cried as I thought the enemy finally succeeded in taking down this book. Besides the sales were not good so maybe that was why the company dropped my book. But even so, I realised that it was tough for an author to be noticed with a few books. An author had to keep on producing quality works. Marketing does help but only to a certain extent. Besides maybe the timing wasn't right back then.

Now I see how the old things had to die to make way for the new. Whatever it was, I choose to believe I was led by the Lord to go with Creation House. Yet God is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man that He should change his mind. Even after so many years, He still holds true to His promise. Though it seemed like my book died a natural death with the closing down of Creation House, all this was a part of God's plan. God can resurrect this book.

Anyway all these belonged to the past season which is dying. Doug Addison said this is a time of the Book of Your Purpose being opened, but the old season must be allowed to die and fall away. I shall put all these behind and be expectant for the new thing God is doing in my life. And I trust God to restore double for the trouble. Even the money spent on publishing can be recouped. I would not agonise over the money spent because God can always give me the provision. I take it as sowing a seed into His kingdom which I will get a harvest one day. Soon. Now is the time for repayment. And it's not just the money but double honour for the shame I suffered.

FREE EBOOK: DOWNLOAD NOW!

Dear supporters of my blog, I have decided to offer this free ebook 'Flowing in the Spirit in Healing and Deliverance' that I published in Mar 2015. I hope that the message in this book would bless many who are seeking the Lord in areas of healing. Previously I was selling this book in Lulu.com for USD2.99 but now I am offering it as free for my readers, to show my appreciation.

I certainly hope that you can follow me via email and subscribe to my blog. You may click on this link to download the book. http://www.lulu.com/shop/avin-lee-mui-choo/flowing-in-the-spirit-in-healing-and-deliverance/ebook/product-22130148.html

For those of you who have difficulties opening the ebook, you can email me at avinlee77@gmail.com and I will most gladly send you a PDF copy of this book. Thanks again for your interest.

DISCERNING THE ENEMY'S TACTICS

Some time ago Heng and I were talking about marriages. Heng said when a woman cannot find a man whom she loves, she will not marry anyone just for the sake of marriage. But for a guy, it is different. Their physical need for a wife is greater than their need to connect. So to them, it is ok not being able to connect with the wife. Their emotional need wasn't as strong as the women. And maybe that was why Pastor shared during yesterday's service that a divorce affects the women much more emotionally than the guys.

He has seen through the years how after a divorce from an abusive relationship, the woman would come down with a sickness, most probably breast cancer. It was really very interesting that he made this observation. About how women are especially susceptible to accusations and condemnation compared to the men. So a woman in an abusive relationship would suffer more than a hen-pecked guy.

Somehow guys are less affected by divorces or abusive relationships. I really wonder why. Maybe women are more relational by nature and feel more easily condemned. We are more sensitive to comments and care more about others' opinions than the guys. Perhaps due to the fact that it was Eve who was tempted by the serpent at first and after she gave the fruit to Adam, women somehow blamed themselves for bringing sin into the world.

I too, have seen how the ladies around me suffer because they feel accused and condemned by their abusive hubbies. I felt that their self-worth was adversely affected. And they constantly had to do something to prove their worth, like to redeem themselves or to seek approval. And they could never really get over those abusive remarks made by their hubbies. It would be like a scar in their emotional lives and they would secretly resent their hubbies for treating them this way.

I saw how unfair it was for their husbands to make them feel guilty for something they had done or not done. Hence they are constantly under law, under demand, treading on thin ice. If they didn't perform well, then they would be subjected to their husbands' tirades. I often feel angry and indignant over this. What made the guys think they are superior to the ladies? Just because they are born males? It wasn't even something they earned. It was just God's grace on them.

In fact, I had been the brunt of such an abusive relationship before, hence I knew how it felt like. Accusations, guilt and condemnation. Emotional blackmail. Fear. It was horrible. I felt so helpless, so weak, so stuck. I wanted to get out of that prison but I didn't have the courage to. It was God who mercifully brought me out of it. My ex boyfriend thought he could control me with his emotional wiles but he forgot who was my backing. My God is so jealous of me, He will never allow me to live a subjugated life like that.

For women in a relationship like this, there can never be unconditional love for their husbands. They will secretly resent him though on the surface they may seem submissive. Their love is ruled by fear. Fear of punishment when they don't obey their husbands. Accusations will turn into guilt then condemnation. So accusations can kill. It's really that serious. Slowly, little by little over the years. It can make a woman so depressed and suicidal at times. It can bring on sickness and diseases, eventually death. 

I believe that the reason Pastor has been preaching about the ploys of the enemy is because God wants to set His people free. Free from such accusations and guilt. Wrong believing. Satan is har-Satan or the accuser of the brethren. He is our adversary or opponent in a law suit. He still thinks he is the custodian of righteousness so he will go around accusing man, finding fault with us when we sin.

His sole purpose of accusing us is to kill. He has no power to finish us off so he has to use our power. If we agree with his accusations, we are lending him our power to destroy our lives. But Christ has already redeemed us from our sins at the cross. So each time the enemy condemns us, we confess this 'I am the righteousness of God in Christ'. Christ is my sin, I am His righteousness. The enemy cannot do anything about us. He has to leave us.

That is why the teaching on grace is so important. Satan understands law and righteousness but not grace. He cannot understand God's love for mankind. The reason he is getting at us is so that he can get at God. He is still trying to devour those believers who are not established in Christ's righteousness. He is accusing them day and night with the purpose of murdering their souls.

We have to learn to say that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ, each time the enemy tries to put some charge on us, make us feel guilty. Even in the area of food, we can have so much wrong believing. Romans 14:22-23 says 'Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, for whatever is not from faith is sin.'

Pastor clarified from the Hebrew meaning of the word 'condemned' that it isn't God who condemns us but ourselves. Don't agree with the devil. Don't do his job too! Condemnation will eventually lead to sickness and death. So whatever you do or not do, don't feel guilty. Let the Spirit of our Lord lead us in all things. Whatever we do, do it in faith. The blessing will come to us.

Pastor also said that in a court of law, if the one being prosecuted don't admit to his guilt and eventually he is cleared of the charge, then the burden of the guilt will return to the one prosecuting or the adversary. He has in turn become a murderer by accusing the innocent with the intention to put him to death with that charge. So when we confess that we are the righteousness of God in Christ, we refuse to take the guilt as Jesus has paid for our sins so we are cleared of the charge. Why should we be punished again when Jesus had already been punished for our sins?