Near the end of 2012, I have been asking the Lord to show me what would 2013 be like. I wanted to hear from the Lord before Pastor Prince preached about the year's theme on 6 Jan 2013. But instead of showing me the things to come, the Lord took me on a review of the things He has done for the last five years of my life. It was a lengthy review because of the many shifts and moves He had accomplished over that period of my life. It was perhaps the most eventful five-year period of my life ever.
I was reminded of what I asked the Lord in Jan 2008. At that time I was looking forward to a season of staying home to take care of Joshua. But I was not sure if that was God's will or His timing for me to do so. Hence I sought the Lord about His will for me in that season of my life. The Lord told me 'Can I not show you? I want you to trust me.' He gave me Psalm 46:10 'Be still and know that I am Lord.' Many times when we pray 'Lord, show me Your will', we are often asking for truths that are not pertinent until years from now. Then we sometimes got frustrated because God is not showing us the full picture.
The Lord is asking me to trust Him until the time for His plan is ripe. At that time, God's timing has not coincided with mine. I was eager to start my new season of staying home but it was not my time to do so yet. He told me that He would speak when everything is in place for Him to reveal the next steps in my life. Little did I imagine then that He was taking me on the journey of my life. So many things happened in the last 5 years - so many divine shifts and physical moves. Yet through it all, the Lord never really told me my final destination in that season or when all these things would come to fruition. I just knew I had to obey Him when He told me to break camp and move on. But if He did not say move on, I would just stay put no matter how tough the situation was.
My experience taught me that in the unfolding of our destinies, the Lord would always tell us to come out of something or some place, to let go of the past and move towards the new thing He has prepared for us. For me, it was coming out of my old church, coming out of my old workplace, coming out of our old home, coming out of Joshua's old school and coming out of our church's old worship venues. It was definitely not easy for I am a very nostalgic and sentimental person. But as the Lord led me to separate myself from the world, it was a progressive change. He started with the renewing of my mind with His word. He was merciful. He knew I could not take it if He moved me straight from Pt A to Pt Z. I might feel it was a long, windy road up the steep mountain but in actual fact, it was a less strenous and exhausting route, compared to a straight path up the mountain. He had to take me on a path that He was confident of me finishing the journey and not dropping out halfway.
And through each physical move, I felt that a part of the 'old me' died with the move. I don't know how to explain this. Though we are a new creation in Christ at the point of conversion, a lot of the 'old man' still remained in us. Our spirit is renewed but not our mind, our soul and our body. God had to slowly renew our minds in order for us to be used mightily by Him. So whenever God wanted to move me closer to my divine destiny, He would reposition me and mark it with a physical move. This is to signify the clear change in season. He would also tell me to let go of my baggages and move on. He did this a couple of times until one day I realised that all traces connected to my past were physically removed. Granted, past memories might still remain in my head but slowly these memories are getting very faint.
As I looked at my life now, I realised I am really in a new phase of my life. Old church, old home, old workplace, Joshua's old school and now even our church's old worship venues are no longer in my life! I remember the Lord telling me that when I reached the destination for this season and when the fullness of time has come, I will know it. After our church crossed over to the Star, He started showing me His plan for the last five years, things He could not share with me then. The time was not right and I was not ready to accept His plan for me...if He told me that I would not give birth until some five years later, I would have given up then. I was so keen to have my second baby at that time.
But now, the Lord has told me plainly what was happening in the last season of my life and with the move to The Star, the entire process is now complete. He who started a good work in me five years ago has brought it to completion. Indeed the desires and dreams I had over the past five years have all come to pass except my pregnancy. But He assured me that this desire is manifesting now because the fullness of time has come. He told me that the old season has passed and a new season has dawned. He said that now I am finally ready for His assignments and He would reveal the next steps in my life. In the days and months to come, He will reveal new dreams and desires that would mark my new season. God is so good and His faithfulness was what I could hang on to all these years.
Though it was sometimes difficult and confusing when you are in the process of being refined, now that the process is over and you look back, you are surprised to see a totally new you! And the Lord has indeed brought you so much further than where you were five years ago. I thank God for He has finally positioned me where He wanted me and I have stepped into my divine destiny. I have come to His divine appointment, a place where He commands all the blessings to pour out into my life! My best years are yet to come! Praise Jesus!
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