2014 had been an eventful year for me. It was different from 2013 when there was more action in ministry. I was much busier last year, especially the second half of the year. This year, I could see the action winding down as The Lord slowly led me out of care group ministry. It seemed like God is saying to me 'This season is a designated season of rest from ministry work so you just rest. Don't get involved or sucked in again. I took great pains to bring you out of it, so don't go back there. Don't even look back. Just move on. If you don't let go and keep letting yourself be burdened by ministry issues, then these may hold you back from your next season.'
That is one thing I definitely don't wish to see, for this promise of mine has been delayed long enough. Of course I also want to cooperate with God when He is moving me into my next season. After all, this was my long awaited prayer and I sensed that it is coming to pass. Finally I made it through the past two seasons when I had been through the fire and water and God is now bringing me to a place of abundance, a season of fulfillment. No matter how tough those seasons were, the truth is they are a thing of the past. I have completed the race, finished the journey, crossed the finish line. Finally I came to a place where God could move me on again. It's a very good place, a thing worth rejoicing.
When I saw that The Lord was moving my staff on to her next season in 2008, I shouldn't be holding her back here, I was happy for her but sad for myself. Happy that she could finally move on but sad that I was still stuck in that season, that place. Her work was finished in the company so she could move on but for me then, I still had unfinished business. Well, it was only fair for her to move on to her harvest season because she had labored much covering my duties when I went on no-pay leave. I had just enjoyed my harvest season and I was entering into winter season.
2008 and 2009 were like my winter seasons when I often struggled to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Mid 2008 to mid 2009 was also a transitional year for me as The Lord brought us out of our old church into NCC. Then in the second half of 2009, a shaking began in my organization. That was when I knew the beginning of birth pangs started and it would culminate in my departure from that company. Things were starting to get rougher, more uncomfortable in my workplace. But God is faithful to eventually bring me out by end 2010. My winter season was finally over! I crossed over to spring, a time of new beginnings when I started my stay home days. But it wasn't exactly autumn season yet.
I still had to brace through the laborious season of summer before I can reach my harvest season. 2012 to 2014 was the duration of my summer season. 2014 was also a transitional year for me as The Lord brought me out of ministry work, preparing me for a season of childbearing. That was when I knew that my season has changed and autumn has finally arrived. I saw that like what happened to my staff in 2008, The Lord was moving me on and if I held on to the old things, I will delay entering my harvest season. I was happy for myself that the chapter has ended and I have completed my work in that season. I can finally move on. I no longer have any unfinished business in that season.
Now it was only 'fair' for me to move into autumn season for I have labored through the seasons of winter, spring and summer. Others may have just enjoyed their season of harvest and now entering into winter. Through it all, I learnt that there is no basis to envy others when they are enjoying their fruit while you are laboring because we are all in different seasons of our lives. Just focus on His faithfulness and know that when your due season comes, you will also enjoy the fruit of your labour. Your appointed time will surely come. At that time the people whom you used to envy may be going through a difficult time, a winter, spring or summer season. We all have our own race to run, so no need to compare.
The reason I said 2014 was an eventful year was because of the things that happened in this year. Towards the end of 2013 I had experienced to a smaller extent some of the bad things happening to people around me like sickness and hospitalization. I already found it overwhelming then but this year, I felt the full impact of these events. The sudden nature of people close to me passing on, the number of life and death cases (8 in total), threatened divorces, spiritual attacks on our family that I encountered this year was phenomenal. During the thanksgiving service last Sunday, I truly thank God that we are alive and breathing. We made it to through this year. Now I don't take such things for granted for there has been friends who didn't make it to the next year. Of course they are in a much happier place with Jesus but as for me, I know my work on earth is not finished yet.
I thank God that this year I gained a far greater revelation of His will and men's will. I was thrown into confusion at first and very much overwhelmed by the untimely deaths. But later I managed to resolve all these doubts and questions with The Lord. The enemy struck at the core of my beliefs in healing ministry. But what the devil meant for harm, The Lord turned it for my good. The revelation He showed me made me more effective in healing ministry. I learnt to work with the will of man and influence them to agree with the will of God, which is always healing and long life. If this fails and they pass on after I prayed for them, I don't get disillusioned but respect their decision, trusting that God will work all things out for the good of the family. What I learnt was that I cannot be accountable for their decisions but as for me and my household, we will serve The Lord. We will agree with His will for our lives.
I told Heng that I earlier had been asking The Lord where is His greater glory in the midst of all the attacks and bad things happening around me. At one point I was so overwhelmed by the attacks which never seemed to cease and give me some relief that I cried out to The Lord. Where is the good coming out of all these? Why can't I see the good? Well, time has proven Him right. The year didn't seem to start off well but towards the end, all the good things seem to manifest. I don't know why The Lord waited till the last month to manifest the good things but at least late than never. We noticed how the spiritual atmosphere changed since mid Nov and we have been experiencing so much joy. It was like morning has come, sorrow has turned into joy. Then all the good things started coming out into the surface in Dec, with so many surprises for me. I thank God for all the good things surfacing and the blessings are not going to stop there. This is just the beginning, The Lord says. And we are already so excited now. The Lord tells me that more blessings are to come next year for it is a season of fulfillment. It has just begun for me.
Hence in conclusion, I must say that 2014 has been a very good year for me. Probably the best year ever. This was the year I learnt how to enjoy my life as a stay home mum, to receive things from The Lord though I didn't work for it, to rest and trust that God is working on my behalf, behind the scenes for my good as I wait upon Him. I also received many answers to the bewildering questions I had for many years. One of which was why God allowed the delay for childbearing. The other one was the part that man's will has to play in life and death matters. More importantly, I have learnt to enjoy life, to pamper myself, see myself as a princess, do good to myself, think about what I really want in life, enjoy the season, seize the moment, treasure the present etc.
I saw how The Lord destroyed many age old strongholds this year, like timing in childbearing, like comparison with others, jealousy and bitterness with people etc. I also found that I hear The Lord more clearly and my sensing has been more spot on. As I stepped out on what The Lord told me, ignoring men's opinions of me, I found the anointing increased. I have learnt to hear from The Lord directly and not step out based on what others tell me. When I am clear that I have heard from Him, I will set my face like flint and stand firm on my decision regardless of the pressure on me. I believe the greatest work He has done all these years is the building up of my faith and spiritual tenancies.
I have become more stable and stronger. I know how to say no to people's demands on me. I don't wish to be trapped in a cycle of feeling I am taken advantage of yet not being able to stand up for myself. Or trapped in another cycle of saying no yet feeling guilty about my decision and then caving in under pressure. I rather say no if I really don't have the desire to do something than to do it grudgingly and then complain about it. I don't want my spirit to be bitter. I also don't wish to expect much out of people when I give to them lest I become disappointed. I want to keep my eyes on The Lord.
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Won the grand prize!
Praise the Lord! I won cash at a Popular Draw on 21 Dec! When I received a call on 16 Dec that I was one of the shortlisted candidates, it was a surprise for me. But I already knew that it was a setup for blessing. God already prepared for me to receive the prize on Sunday. And so I was expectant and making preparation for this big day. I didn't think much of it during the week but I was shopping for nice clothes to wear on that day. It was also for the Christmas service but I told Heng and Joshua that I need to dress up for the event because I will be going up the stage. I already spoke as if I was going to win. I was a little excited the night before but my mind was caught up with a ministry issue. That morning I woke up wondering if I would be in time for the registration. Our church service would end around 2pm and I needed to be there by 2.30pm. It was quite tight.
Thank God I reached there in time to register though it was a bit rushed. When I reached there, I saw a super long queue and I wanted to give up. I was concerned that by the time I reached the registration counter, the staff would tell me that registration had closed because I was too late. I also thought about how my chances were so slim because there were so many people. 450 people were short listed to be exact. And only 9 winners. It was a mere 2% chance of winning. I was also feeling a bit lonely because Heng and Joshua could not join me. Joshua had to go for his piano lesson. But I knew that God has already prepared this blessing for me. It was waiting for me at the grand draw, so I had to be present to receive the prize.
Thank God I managed to register. But as I stood there waiting for the draw to begin, I felt like just another face in the crowd. Doubts came to my mind: What made me think that I am so favored that I will win. What makes me so special from the rest of the people? When the draw started, there were already 5 winners and I wondered what if I didn't win. Wouldn't my preparation be in vain, would not it be a mockery? But I thought it would be not be a wasted trip. It would be good fun anyway. Well, as I stood there watching, God assured me that this blessing already has my name on it and no one can take it. It didn't matter who conducted the draw, they were just vessels. God's hand was the one drawing the cards.
The CEO got a little girl to conduct the draw for the sixth candidate and when the emcee said anyone with the surname Lee raise their hands, I knew I had a chance. When he said middle name is Mui, I already knew it was me! After he announced Lee Mui Choo, I calmly raised up my hand and walked to the stage. They confirmed my IC and there I was, a proud winner! I never won any big prize in lucky draws. The last one was more than 10 years ago. I didn't think I was the 'lucky' one. Heng was the one who always won prizes in such draws. And I recalled how the Lord was setting me up right from the start for I wanted to put Heng's name on the slip. But God told me to put my name instead. Now I know why. God wanted to bless me and me alone. Initially I felt like I was just a face in the crowd but it wasn't true.
Abraham and his family might look like any other family in pilgrim but what made Abraham special was that he heard the call of God on his life and he responded to it. Similarly I am like Abraham, truly special to God. I am not just a face in the crowd, I am very special. Handpicked by God. The favor of God is on my life and that makes me different from the crowd. This incident taught me to ignore what I feel or see, to walk in faith. When God said I am special, I am special. It didn't matter that I wasn't the tallest, most pretty or outstanding physically. All it matters is God is with me and He has chosen me.
This is really unearned, undeserved favor. I didn't earn it and it's a big surprise! To think that God could bless me with this! It was like God telling me He is rewarding me for my labour of love for the sheep for past three years. Wow! He is so good! I never expected any reward but He loves to bless me. Truly my due season has come. I now can be fully convinced that all good things come to the surface when harvest is here. What a blessed time is harvest!
Thank God I reached there in time to register though it was a bit rushed. When I reached there, I saw a super long queue and I wanted to give up. I was concerned that by the time I reached the registration counter, the staff would tell me that registration had closed because I was too late. I also thought about how my chances were so slim because there were so many people. 450 people were short listed to be exact. And only 9 winners. It was a mere 2% chance of winning. I was also feeling a bit lonely because Heng and Joshua could not join me. Joshua had to go for his piano lesson. But I knew that God has already prepared this blessing for me. It was waiting for me at the grand draw, so I had to be present to receive the prize.
Thank God I managed to register. But as I stood there waiting for the draw to begin, I felt like just another face in the crowd. Doubts came to my mind: What made me think that I am so favored that I will win. What makes me so special from the rest of the people? When the draw started, there were already 5 winners and I wondered what if I didn't win. Wouldn't my preparation be in vain, would not it be a mockery? But I thought it would be not be a wasted trip. It would be good fun anyway. Well, as I stood there watching, God assured me that this blessing already has my name on it and no one can take it. It didn't matter who conducted the draw, they were just vessels. God's hand was the one drawing the cards.
The CEO got a little girl to conduct the draw for the sixth candidate and when the emcee said anyone with the surname Lee raise their hands, I knew I had a chance. When he said middle name is Mui, I already knew it was me! After he announced Lee Mui Choo, I calmly raised up my hand and walked to the stage. They confirmed my IC and there I was, a proud winner! I never won any big prize in lucky draws. The last one was more than 10 years ago. I didn't think I was the 'lucky' one. Heng was the one who always won prizes in such draws. And I recalled how the Lord was setting me up right from the start for I wanted to put Heng's name on the slip. But God told me to put my name instead. Now I know why. God wanted to bless me and me alone. Initially I felt like I was just a face in the crowd but it wasn't true.
Abraham and his family might look like any other family in pilgrim but what made Abraham special was that he heard the call of God on his life and he responded to it. Similarly I am like Abraham, truly special to God. I am not just a face in the crowd, I am very special. Handpicked by God. The favor of God is on my life and that makes me different from the crowd. This incident taught me to ignore what I feel or see, to walk in faith. When God said I am special, I am special. It didn't matter that I wasn't the tallest, most pretty or outstanding physically. All it matters is God is with me and He has chosen me.
This is really unearned, undeserved favor. I didn't earn it and it's a big surprise! To think that God could bless me with this! It was like God telling me He is rewarding me for my labour of love for the sheep for past three years. Wow! He is so good! I never expected any reward but He loves to bless me. Truly my due season has come. I now can be fully convinced that all good things come to the surface when harvest is here. What a blessed time is harvest!
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
God leads us by our desires
I used to think that I cannot always follow my desires, what I want or don't want to do. Because that will cause me to be irresponsible and unstable. Like what if you wake up the next morning and suddenly you don't want to be married to your hubby? I used to hear people quoting the bible saying that you cannot trust your heart because it is deceitful above all things. I think the author of Proverbs was referring to the person who is not saved, hence he cannot trust his heart. For believers who have the Holy Spirit living within us, if we are sensitive to Him, we will find that He is always leading us through our desires. Philippians 2:13 says that it is God who works in you both to will and to do according to His good pleasures.
Just like how people say grace will give others a license to sin. Yet the matter of the fact is people are still sinning under the law, perhaps even more because the strength of the law is sin. I always thought I got to force myself to do the things I don't like for the greater good of others, for the kingdom of God. That way I will build tenacity of character. But as I learnt more about His grace and the gift of righteousness, I realized that I was putting myself under the law, under demands when I do that. I know because whenever I forced myself to do something I don't like, to live up to others' expectation, a part of me dies. It's that part of me which God made me to be. When I keep forcing myself to do that long enough, I find that I don't even know I really am. I forgot to be true to myself, to who He made me to be.
In my walk with The Lord, I find that He never once forced me to do something I had no desire for. He will always work a desire in me before He shows me this is His will. And He always gives me a choice, whether I want to do it or not. If I choose not to do it, He will not condemn me for my choice. He will still assure me He loves me because His love is not based on my performance. Oh, that is so liberating to me! It's a life of grace. I have learnt to flow in His Spirit by recognizing the desires He puts in my heart. And when other people give me advice that doesn't bear witness to my spirit, I can be secure in what God told me. I will have a boldness that says 'Thanks for your advice but that is not for me.'
Oh then what about those times when you really don't feel like doing something yet you know The Lord would like you to do it? Do you follow your desire and defy God? When those times come and they do, The Lord will wait and patiently work in me to create the desire to do so. And He will tell me that if I do it, there will be a supernatural grace. He will supply the anointing for me to go through the thing I dread. Most of the times, after I have done it, I will realize that it was God causing me to overcome an area which I failed repeatedly. The mystery of grace is that it always causes you to overcome. The law will never give you the power to overcome.
I find that many people make Him out to be such a hard God. They will tell you that God left you in the fiery furnace to suffer so that your faith can be refined as gold. If you choose to opt out, then it shows that you are of a weak mettle. You have not fought the good fight of faith. Yes, I agree that God sometimes puts us through certain tests to let us grow but He knows our limits. He knows how much we can bear. His primary interest is our well-being, more than just the test at hand. He won't let us crumble. What people forget to tell you is that Christ is there with you in the fiery furnace. He is not a distant God. He is there with you in your darkest moments, turning your situation around.
After a while, I learnt not to put myself under the law, forcing myself to do things I don't want to. I learnt to go by the law of the Spirit, which means that I go by the life I feel on the inside of me. Well, you will ask: going by the life or lack of, is that even reliable? Surely! Much more reliable than going by the law. The law will only keep you in 'check' outwardly. But when anarchy rules, you will see the true nature of humans. Grace, on the other hand, will cause a heart transformation, which is far more lasting than outward behavioral changes. When I walk by the life of the Spirit, my desires will never lead me to do something to displease God or dishonor Him.
And even when I feel rebellious at times, like I really don't want to do the thing which I know is what God desires, there would be a struggle within me. There would be such an unrest in my spirit because eventually I don't want to make God upset. I will think about how good God is to me, how He never forces me to do things (unlike the world) and how He never makes me feel condemned. My heart would soften at that thought. After a while I would come back to the place of peace when I decide to align my will to His will.
That's the power of grace, my friend. The goodness of God will always lead one to repentance, which is the changing of our minds. That's the power of His love. He has given us free choice and He respects our decision. Yes I can exercise my free will to go against Him but why would I do that when I know that He loves me so much and everything He does is for my good? The law is cold and hard, given to the Israelites in tablets of stones but Jesus came personally to give us grace. It's easy to sin against two cold, hard pieces of stones but to sin against Jesus, the One who loves us so much, gave His life for us on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins. How can one even bring himself to do that to Jesus? Oh the limitless love of God!
Just like how people say grace will give others a license to sin. Yet the matter of the fact is people are still sinning under the law, perhaps even more because the strength of the law is sin. I always thought I got to force myself to do the things I don't like for the greater good of others, for the kingdom of God. That way I will build tenacity of character. But as I learnt more about His grace and the gift of righteousness, I realized that I was putting myself under the law, under demands when I do that. I know because whenever I forced myself to do something I don't like, to live up to others' expectation, a part of me dies. It's that part of me which God made me to be. When I keep forcing myself to do that long enough, I find that I don't even know I really am. I forgot to be true to myself, to who He made me to be.
In my walk with The Lord, I find that He never once forced me to do something I had no desire for. He will always work a desire in me before He shows me this is His will. And He always gives me a choice, whether I want to do it or not. If I choose not to do it, He will not condemn me for my choice. He will still assure me He loves me because His love is not based on my performance. Oh, that is so liberating to me! It's a life of grace. I have learnt to flow in His Spirit by recognizing the desires He puts in my heart. And when other people give me advice that doesn't bear witness to my spirit, I can be secure in what God told me. I will have a boldness that says 'Thanks for your advice but that is not for me.'
Oh then what about those times when you really don't feel like doing something yet you know The Lord would like you to do it? Do you follow your desire and defy God? When those times come and they do, The Lord will wait and patiently work in me to create the desire to do so. And He will tell me that if I do it, there will be a supernatural grace. He will supply the anointing for me to go through the thing I dread. Most of the times, after I have done it, I will realize that it was God causing me to overcome an area which I failed repeatedly. The mystery of grace is that it always causes you to overcome. The law will never give you the power to overcome.
I find that many people make Him out to be such a hard God. They will tell you that God left you in the fiery furnace to suffer so that your faith can be refined as gold. If you choose to opt out, then it shows that you are of a weak mettle. You have not fought the good fight of faith. Yes, I agree that God sometimes puts us through certain tests to let us grow but He knows our limits. He knows how much we can bear. His primary interest is our well-being, more than just the test at hand. He won't let us crumble. What people forget to tell you is that Christ is there with you in the fiery furnace. He is not a distant God. He is there with you in your darkest moments, turning your situation around.
After a while, I learnt not to put myself under the law, forcing myself to do things I don't want to. I learnt to go by the law of the Spirit, which means that I go by the life I feel on the inside of me. Well, you will ask: going by the life or lack of, is that even reliable? Surely! Much more reliable than going by the law. The law will only keep you in 'check' outwardly. But when anarchy rules, you will see the true nature of humans. Grace, on the other hand, will cause a heart transformation, which is far more lasting than outward behavioral changes. When I walk by the life of the Spirit, my desires will never lead me to do something to displease God or dishonor Him.
And even when I feel rebellious at times, like I really don't want to do the thing which I know is what God desires, there would be a struggle within me. There would be such an unrest in my spirit because eventually I don't want to make God upset. I will think about how good God is to me, how He never forces me to do things (unlike the world) and how He never makes me feel condemned. My heart would soften at that thought. After a while I would come back to the place of peace when I decide to align my will to His will.
That's the power of grace, my friend. The goodness of God will always lead one to repentance, which is the changing of our minds. That's the power of His love. He has given us free choice and He respects our decision. Yes I can exercise my free will to go against Him but why would I do that when I know that He loves me so much and everything He does is for my good? The law is cold and hard, given to the Israelites in tablets of stones but Jesus came personally to give us grace. It's easy to sin against two cold, hard pieces of stones but to sin against Jesus, the One who loves us so much, gave His life for us on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins. How can one even bring himself to do that to Jesus? Oh the limitless love of God!
Friday, October 17, 2014
Why new believers seem to receive easily from God?
Recently someone asked this question about why it seems like new believers receive much easily than believers for a long time. I thought it was a good question hence I decided to delve a bit deeper on this. I remember hearing Pastor Prince saying that when a person accepts Christ, it is purely by grace so they are not conscious of their own works in the beginning. Fresh on their minds are thoughts of how undeserving they were, yet Jesus came and saved them. So right after they received Christ, even when they failed, they are conscious of His love and His forgiveness, hence it didn't hinder their prayers. They knew the answer to their prayers had nothing to do with their performance.
However, after being saved for some time, they may be taught that yes they are saved by grace through faith in Christ, yet in order to be holy, they got to do this and that. Unknowing they are being put under the law. Previously before they accepted Christ, they may be living a sinful life but because they are not awakened to the law, they do not feel guilty or condemned. After they are saved, their eyes are opened to the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and they felt guilty each time they sinned. They slowly forgot that at the point of conversion, Christ has forgiven them of all their sins: past, present and future. They become more aware of their trespasses than before they were saved.
Those who are constantly feeling condemned and guilty, having fallen short of the standard of God cannot receive from Him, though all these blessings were already paid for by Jesus at the cross. They disqualify themselves by putting themselves under the law. Pastor Prince said that law is natural but grace is supernatural. You can hear the gospel of grace preached to you for ten weeks and then for one week, you hear a mixed message of law and grace preached. The flesh easily lapses back to the law. It's so subtle, how the law came in by stealth.
That's why it is so important to keep hearing the grace message because that builds faith and faith is what causes believers to overcome in this life. Faith is the currency of heaven and when you have the faith of God, you easily receive from Him whatever you need in life. No wonder Pastor keeps quoting Romans 5:17 '...how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through Jesus Christ!' Hence the key to receiving from God is having an abundance of grace and gift of righteousness, causing us to reign in life!
However, after being saved for some time, they may be taught that yes they are saved by grace through faith in Christ, yet in order to be holy, they got to do this and that. Unknowing they are being put under the law. Previously before they accepted Christ, they may be living a sinful life but because they are not awakened to the law, they do not feel guilty or condemned. After they are saved, their eyes are opened to the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and they felt guilty each time they sinned. They slowly forgot that at the point of conversion, Christ has forgiven them of all their sins: past, present and future. They become more aware of their trespasses than before they were saved.
Those who are constantly feeling condemned and guilty, having fallen short of the standard of God cannot receive from Him, though all these blessings were already paid for by Jesus at the cross. They disqualify themselves by putting themselves under the law. Pastor Prince said that law is natural but grace is supernatural. You can hear the gospel of grace preached to you for ten weeks and then for one week, you hear a mixed message of law and grace preached. The flesh easily lapses back to the law. It's so subtle, how the law came in by stealth.
That's why it is so important to keep hearing the grace message because that builds faith and faith is what causes believers to overcome in this life. Faith is the currency of heaven and when you have the faith of God, you easily receive from Him whatever you need in life. No wonder Pastor keeps quoting Romans 5:17 '...how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and the gift of righteousness reign in life through Jesus Christ!' Hence the key to receiving from God is having an abundance of grace and gift of righteousness, causing us to reign in life!
Training your thoughts
In my last blog post, I mentioned about how I have learnt to train my thoughts to focus on what God wants me to think about. The Lord gave me an imagery of how a nail is magnetized by a piece of magnet. Rubbing the nail with the permanent magnet causes a stronger, more lasting magnetism in the nail. One pole of the magnet must stroke the nail from one end to the other in a single direction. The magnet must be lifted completely off the nail after each stroke before beginning the next one. The nail's magnetism increases with each stroke. Stroking with one pole of a permanent magnet works because it aligns the molecules in the nail in the same polar direction, giving the nail a positive and a negative end.
In the same way, this is how we train our thoughts. As we keep submitting each thought to the obedience of Christ, it becomes easier the next time to take captive of the negative thought arising in your mind. Romans 12:2 says 'Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world but be transformed by the renewing of the mind.' This is the process by which our mind is transformed, the renewing of our minds. As we keep doing this, our thought processes would not be haphazard and all over the place. These thoughts, like the molecules in a nail, will be gradually aligned in the same polar direction, pointing towards Christ.
Jesus is like the magnet which magnetizes my thoughts and attracts me to Him. As I turn away from my self consciousness and choose to focus on Jesus and His righteousness, I find myself becoming more and more like the Magnet. And as a result, I attract other people when I become transformed into His glory. People see the glory of God radiating from my life and they too become interested to know about this wonderful Savior.
Initially it may not be that easy to take captive of each thought but as time passes, you will find that it more and more effortless as you behold the face of Jesus. After some time, you may suddenly realize one day that your thoughts are no longer random but you have trained your mind to think in God's ways, to see things as God sees. 1 Corinthians 2:16 says we have the mind of Christ. Once you learnt to see things from God's perspective, you will be able to discern the deep things of God and His will for your life.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Relationship with God
The other day I was listening to Pastor Prince's sermon and noticed this interesting point. He said that God always like to speak to us in terms of relationship. It's like when you first seek The Lord and ask Him questions like why haven't I received my breakthrough or why am I still single, He will not answer you directly. Instead, He will tell you how much He loves you and how precious you are in His sight. That may be an irrelevant answer to your question but in fact, that is the key to your breakthrough. The answer lies in knowing how much God loves you. The more you are conscious of His love, the more good things start happening to you.
I remember crying out to God in 2010 asking when will I receive the breakthrough to my promise. God didn't answer me directly. In fact, He kept saying that this promise is already given and it will surely come. What He directed my focus to was His love for me. He spoke about how He felt towards me and who I am to Him. It was a personalized love letter to me. That was actually the first time I was able to hear Him speak at length and I recorded everything I heard. After I had a fresh encounter of His love, the matter at hand suddenly paled in comparison. It was like nothing else really mattered so long as I had His love. That's really basking in His love and being pampered by Him.
Later on as I grew in my relationship with God, I noticed that I don't just go to Him with my prayer requests anymore. And I found that there's no need for me to keep talking. Sometimes I stay still to listen to His still small voice, other times I just bask in His presence, enjoying His company. I noticed that when I wasn't seeking Him for any answer, just enjoying His presence and resting in His love for me, God will speak. He will come and tell me His plans for me and give me specific instructions on my next step. I find Him leading me like a shepherd does His sheep. It's amazing how far this relationship has gone. He just have to gently nudge me or give me some hints and I get it. I instinctively know what He wants from me. John 10:27 says 'My sheep listen to My voice and follow Me.'
I don't doubt if I hear Him correctly and I don't keep going back to ask Him to confirm. If I was unclear, I would wait upon Him for confirmation before I proceed. Then when I experience the peace within, I will know it's His voice. Most times I realized that when I was so desperately seeking an answer, He didn't answer me directly. But some time later He will reveal the answer I had asked. Many times I would have already forgotten about my question as I got lost in His love and then He will bring me to remembrance.
Pastor said people who are conscious of His love will shine with His glory. They are so comfortable to be with. They are so secure that you don't have to worry what you say will bruise their ego or hurt them. In fact, they don't care about what men think of them. And others are attracted to them. I really hoped to be like one who is radiating with the love of my Abba God. The world can see that there's something different about you. The starting point to receiving your breakthrough is really in receiving His love for you. That's when you can be transformed from glory to glory in Christ's image. When you are so full of His love, you can be over comers in this world.
Recently I was thinking about how my relationship with God has changed so much. I have grown so much closer to Him. I have been able to hear His voice much more clearly than before. I also noticed that He speaks plainly to me nowadays. When I asked Him questions, He answered quite promptly, in a matter of days or weeks. Sometimes almost immediately like a conversation I have with any human beings. Not only that I also noticed that I don't really misinterpret Him like I do before. When I read the past journals, I realized it was me talking most of the time and me interpreting what God is telling me. Sometimes I think He is saying this but He is not. It was after some time that I understood what He was talking about.
Nowadays I feel so conscious of God talking to me. It can be anytime, anywhere. When such thoughts come, I try to jot it down. I have learnt to distinguish if that was my thought or His. And nowadays my thoughts are more organized and less scattered, not all over the place. Thank God I have learnt to train my thoughts and subject them to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). When alien thoughts try to invade my mind, I will be able to recognize them through the emotions I feel. My emotions are my radar, if I don't feel good, then there could be some wrong thoughts or wrong believing somewhere. Of course it's not like that all the time but most times, my emotions are a good signal.
Dear Beloved, know that the battlefield is in your mind. 2 Corinthians 10:4 says that the weapons we fight with are not of this world. They have divine power to demolish strongholds. I find that dwelling on the love of Christ will help us focus our thoughts on Him. Perfect love drives out all fear. The other thing is to dwell on the good things, whatever is noble, lovely, praiseworthy, of good report. Be on the watch out for toxic thoughts which cause you to feel confused, accused, guilty, worried etc. when those thoughts come, you can choose to switch channels in your mind. Take captive those thoughts and submit them to the obedience of Christ.
I remember crying out to God in 2010 asking when will I receive the breakthrough to my promise. God didn't answer me directly. In fact, He kept saying that this promise is already given and it will surely come. What He directed my focus to was His love for me. He spoke about how He felt towards me and who I am to Him. It was a personalized love letter to me. That was actually the first time I was able to hear Him speak at length and I recorded everything I heard. After I had a fresh encounter of His love, the matter at hand suddenly paled in comparison. It was like nothing else really mattered so long as I had His love. That's really basking in His love and being pampered by Him.
Later on as I grew in my relationship with God, I noticed that I don't just go to Him with my prayer requests anymore. And I found that there's no need for me to keep talking. Sometimes I stay still to listen to His still small voice, other times I just bask in His presence, enjoying His company. I noticed that when I wasn't seeking Him for any answer, just enjoying His presence and resting in His love for me, God will speak. He will come and tell me His plans for me and give me specific instructions on my next step. I find Him leading me like a shepherd does His sheep. It's amazing how far this relationship has gone. He just have to gently nudge me or give me some hints and I get it. I instinctively know what He wants from me. John 10:27 says 'My sheep listen to My voice and follow Me.'
I don't doubt if I hear Him correctly and I don't keep going back to ask Him to confirm. If I was unclear, I would wait upon Him for confirmation before I proceed. Then when I experience the peace within, I will know it's His voice. Most times I realized that when I was so desperately seeking an answer, He didn't answer me directly. But some time later He will reveal the answer I had asked. Many times I would have already forgotten about my question as I got lost in His love and then He will bring me to remembrance.
Pastor said people who are conscious of His love will shine with His glory. They are so comfortable to be with. They are so secure that you don't have to worry what you say will bruise their ego or hurt them. In fact, they don't care about what men think of them. And others are attracted to them. I really hoped to be like one who is radiating with the love of my Abba God. The world can see that there's something different about you. The starting point to receiving your breakthrough is really in receiving His love for you. That's when you can be transformed from glory to glory in Christ's image. When you are so full of His love, you can be over comers in this world.
Recently I was thinking about how my relationship with God has changed so much. I have grown so much closer to Him. I have been able to hear His voice much more clearly than before. I also noticed that He speaks plainly to me nowadays. When I asked Him questions, He answered quite promptly, in a matter of days or weeks. Sometimes almost immediately like a conversation I have with any human beings. Not only that I also noticed that I don't really misinterpret Him like I do before. When I read the past journals, I realized it was me talking most of the time and me interpreting what God is telling me. Sometimes I think He is saying this but He is not. It was after some time that I understood what He was talking about.
Nowadays I feel so conscious of God talking to me. It can be anytime, anywhere. When such thoughts come, I try to jot it down. I have learnt to distinguish if that was my thought or His. And nowadays my thoughts are more organized and less scattered, not all over the place. Thank God I have learnt to train my thoughts and subject them to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). When alien thoughts try to invade my mind, I will be able to recognize them through the emotions I feel. My emotions are my radar, if I don't feel good, then there could be some wrong thoughts or wrong believing somewhere. Of course it's not like that all the time but most times, my emotions are a good signal.
Dear Beloved, know that the battlefield is in your mind. 2 Corinthians 10:4 says that the weapons we fight with are not of this world. They have divine power to demolish strongholds. I find that dwelling on the love of Christ will help us focus our thoughts on Him. Perfect love drives out all fear. The other thing is to dwell on the good things, whatever is noble, lovely, praiseworthy, of good report. Be on the watch out for toxic thoughts which cause you to feel confused, accused, guilty, worried etc. when those thoughts come, you can choose to switch channels in your mind. Take captive those thoughts and submit them to the obedience of Christ.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Ministering to the Lord
I chanced upon this article by Watchman Née on 'Ministering to The Lord' which I am sharing because I never heard anyone speak on ministry like he did. Whatever he wrote spoke to me, it was almost as if God Himself was talking to me. Below is an excerpt of what he shared about ministering to The Lord.
Work for the Lord undoubtedly has its attractions for the flesh. You may be thrilled when crowds gather to hear you preach, and when numbers of souls are saved. If you have to stay at home, occupied from morning to night with mundane matters, then you think: How meaningless life as! How grand at would be if I could go out and serve the Lord! If only I were free to go around ministering!
But that is not spirituality. That is merely a matter of natural preference. Oh, if only we could see that much of the work done for God is not really ministry at all! He, Himself, has told us that there was a class of Levites who busily served in the Temple, and yet they were not serving Him; they were merely serving the House. However, service to the Lord and service to the House appear so much alike that it is often difficult to differentiate between the two.
There is a heavy burden on his heart that you might realise what God is after. He wants ministers who will minister to Him. "They shall come near to me to minister unto me; and they shall stand before me to offer unto me the fat and the blood. They shall minister unto me" (Ezekiel 44:15). The thing he fears most is that many of you will go out and win sinners to the Lord and build up believers, without ministering to the Lord Himself. Much so-called service for Him is simply following our natural inclinations. We have such active dispositions that we cannot bear to stay at home, so we run around for our own relief. We may appear to be serving sinners, or serving believers, but all the while we are serving our own flesh.
The conditions basic to all ministry that can truly be called ministry to the Lord are drawing near to Him and standing before Him. But how hard we often find it to drag ourselves into His presence! We shrink from the solitude, and even when we do detach ourselves physically, our thoughts still keep wandering outside. Many of us can enjoy working among people, but how many of us can draw near to God in the Holy of Holies? Yet it is only as we draw near to Him that we can minister to Him.
To come into the presence of God and kneel before Him for an hour demands all the strength we possess. We have to be violent to hold that ground. But everyone who serves the Lord knows the preciousness of such times, the sweetness of waking at midnight and spending an hour in prayer, or waking very early in the morning and getting up for an hour of prayer before the final sleep of the night. Unless we really know what it is to draw near to God, we cannot know what it is to serve Him. It is impossible to stand afar off and still minister to Him. We cannot serve Him from a distance. There is only one place where ministry to Him is possible and that is in the Holy Place. In the outer court you approach the people; in the Holy Place you approach the Lord.
The passage we have quoted emphasises not only our need to draw near to God; it also speaks of standing before Him to minister. Today we always want to be moving on; we cannot stand still. There are so many things claiming our attention that we are perpetually on the go. We cannot stop for a moment. But a spiritual person knows how to stand still. He can stand before God till God makes His will known. He can stand and await orders. You who are leaders need to particularly consider this. Can you be persuaded to call a halt and not move for a little while? That is what is referred to here: "stand and minister unto me." Don't you think that a servant should await his master's orders before seeking to serve him?
You think: This thing would not be wrong, or that thing is the very best that could be done so you go ahead and take action without stopping to inquire if it is the will of God. We who are His children all know that we ought not to do anything evil, but we think that if only our conscience does not forbid a thing, or if a thing commends itself to us as positively good, that is reason enough to go ahead and do it.
That thing you contemplate doing may be very good, but are you standing before the Lord awaiting His command regarding it? "They shall stand before me" involves halting in His presence and refusing to move till He issues His orders. That is what ministry to the Lord means. In the outer court it is human need that governs. Just let someone come along to sacrifice an ox or a sheep, and there is work for you to do. But in the Holiest Place there is utter solitude. Not a soul comes in. No brother or sister governs us here, nor does any committee determine our affairs. In the Holiest Place there is one authority only - the authority of the Lord. If He appoints me a task I do it; if He appoints me no task, I do none.
But such ministry is confined to a certain place: "They shall enter into my sanctuary, and they shall come near to my table to minister unto me, and they shall keep my charge" (Ezekiel 44:16). Ministry that is "unto me" is in the inner sanctuary, in the hidden place, not in the outer court, exposed to public view. People may think we are doing nothing, but service to God in the Holy Place far transcends service to the people in the outer court. Ministry Without Sweat.
Let us ask God in all honesty: "Am I serving You, or am I merely serving the work? Is my ministry truly unto you Lord, or is it only ministry to your House?" If you are pouring with sweat all the time, it is safe to conclude that it is the House you are serving, not the Lord. If all your busyness is related to human need, you may know that you are serving men, not God. I am not despising the work of slaying sacrifices at the altar. It is work for God and someone has to do it-but God wants something beyond that.
God cannot secure everyone for service to Himself, for many of His own are reluctant to leave the thrill and excitement of the outer court. They are bent on serving the people. But what about us? Oh that today we might say to the Lord: "I am willing to forsake things, I am willing to forsake the work, I am willing to forsake the outer court and serve You in the inner sanctuary." Brothers and sisters, can you bear to let the external structure go, or must you persist in putting up a scaffolding to preserve it? It is the Holy Place that God is out to preserve-a place utterly set apart for Him. I beseech you before God to hear His call to for sake the outer court and devote yourself to His service in the Holy Place.
Brothers and sisters, the work of God is God's own work, and not work that you can take up ac your pleasure. Neither churches, nor missionary societies, nor evangelistic bands can send men to work for God. The authority to commission men is not in the hands of men, but solely, in the hands of the Spirit of God. Serving the Lord does not mean chat we do not serve people, but it does mean that all service to people has service to the Lord as its basis. It is service Godward that urges us out manward.
Let us ask ourselves: Does our work minister to our satisfaction or to the Lord's? I fear that when we have worked for the Lord, we are often thoroughly satisfied before He is satisfied. We are often quite happy with our work when He has found no joy in it. Blessed are they who can differentiate between ministry to sinners or saints, and ministry to Him. Such discernment is not easily acquired. Often it is only by much drastic dealing that we learn the difference between ministry to the Lord Himself and ministry to the House.
Work for the Lord undoubtedly has its attractions for the flesh. You may be thrilled when crowds gather to hear you preach, and when numbers of souls are saved. If you have to stay at home, occupied from morning to night with mundane matters, then you think: How meaningless life as! How grand at would be if I could go out and serve the Lord! If only I were free to go around ministering!
But that is not spirituality. That is merely a matter of natural preference. Oh, if only we could see that much of the work done for God is not really ministry at all! He, Himself, has told us that there was a class of Levites who busily served in the Temple, and yet they were not serving Him; they were merely serving the House. However, service to the Lord and service to the House appear so much alike that it is often difficult to differentiate between the two.
There is a heavy burden on his heart that you might realise what God is after. He wants ministers who will minister to Him. "They shall come near to me to minister unto me; and they shall stand before me to offer unto me the fat and the blood. They shall minister unto me" (Ezekiel 44:15). The thing he fears most is that many of you will go out and win sinners to the Lord and build up believers, without ministering to the Lord Himself. Much so-called service for Him is simply following our natural inclinations. We have such active dispositions that we cannot bear to stay at home, so we run around for our own relief. We may appear to be serving sinners, or serving believers, but all the while we are serving our own flesh.
The conditions basic to all ministry that can truly be called ministry to the Lord are drawing near to Him and standing before Him. But how hard we often find it to drag ourselves into His presence! We shrink from the solitude, and even when we do detach ourselves physically, our thoughts still keep wandering outside. Many of us can enjoy working among people, but how many of us can draw near to God in the Holy of Holies? Yet it is only as we draw near to Him that we can minister to Him.
To come into the presence of God and kneel before Him for an hour demands all the strength we possess. We have to be violent to hold that ground. But everyone who serves the Lord knows the preciousness of such times, the sweetness of waking at midnight and spending an hour in prayer, or waking very early in the morning and getting up for an hour of prayer before the final sleep of the night. Unless we really know what it is to draw near to God, we cannot know what it is to serve Him. It is impossible to stand afar off and still minister to Him. We cannot serve Him from a distance. There is only one place where ministry to Him is possible and that is in the Holy Place. In the outer court you approach the people; in the Holy Place you approach the Lord.
The passage we have quoted emphasises not only our need to draw near to God; it also speaks of standing before Him to minister. Today we always want to be moving on; we cannot stand still. There are so many things claiming our attention that we are perpetually on the go. We cannot stop for a moment. But a spiritual person knows how to stand still. He can stand before God till God makes His will known. He can stand and await orders. You who are leaders need to particularly consider this. Can you be persuaded to call a halt and not move for a little while? That is what is referred to here: "stand and minister unto me." Don't you think that a servant should await his master's orders before seeking to serve him?
You think: This thing would not be wrong, or that thing is the very best that could be done so you go ahead and take action without stopping to inquire if it is the will of God. We who are His children all know that we ought not to do anything evil, but we think that if only our conscience does not forbid a thing, or if a thing commends itself to us as positively good, that is reason enough to go ahead and do it.
That thing you contemplate doing may be very good, but are you standing before the Lord awaiting His command regarding it? "They shall stand before me" involves halting in His presence and refusing to move till He issues His orders. That is what ministry to the Lord means. In the outer court it is human need that governs. Just let someone come along to sacrifice an ox or a sheep, and there is work for you to do. But in the Holiest Place there is utter solitude. Not a soul comes in. No brother or sister governs us here, nor does any committee determine our affairs. In the Holiest Place there is one authority only - the authority of the Lord. If He appoints me a task I do it; if He appoints me no task, I do none.
But such ministry is confined to a certain place: "They shall enter into my sanctuary, and they shall come near to my table to minister unto me, and they shall keep my charge" (Ezekiel 44:16). Ministry that is "unto me" is in the inner sanctuary, in the hidden place, not in the outer court, exposed to public view. People may think we are doing nothing, but service to God in the Holy Place far transcends service to the people in the outer court. Ministry Without Sweat.
Let us ask God in all honesty: "Am I serving You, or am I merely serving the work? Is my ministry truly unto you Lord, or is it only ministry to your House?" If you are pouring with sweat all the time, it is safe to conclude that it is the House you are serving, not the Lord. If all your busyness is related to human need, you may know that you are serving men, not God. I am not despising the work of slaying sacrifices at the altar. It is work for God and someone has to do it-but God wants something beyond that.
God cannot secure everyone for service to Himself, for many of His own are reluctant to leave the thrill and excitement of the outer court. They are bent on serving the people. But what about us? Oh that today we might say to the Lord: "I am willing to forsake things, I am willing to forsake the work, I am willing to forsake the outer court and serve You in the inner sanctuary." Brothers and sisters, can you bear to let the external structure go, or must you persist in putting up a scaffolding to preserve it? It is the Holy Place that God is out to preserve-a place utterly set apart for Him. I beseech you before God to hear His call to for sake the outer court and devote yourself to His service in the Holy Place.
Brothers and sisters, the work of God is God's own work, and not work that you can take up ac your pleasure. Neither churches, nor missionary societies, nor evangelistic bands can send men to work for God. The authority to commission men is not in the hands of men, but solely, in the hands of the Spirit of God. Serving the Lord does not mean chat we do not serve people, but it does mean that all service to people has service to the Lord as its basis. It is service Godward that urges us out manward.
Let us ask ourselves: Does our work minister to our satisfaction or to the Lord's? I fear that when we have worked for the Lord, we are often thoroughly satisfied before He is satisfied. We are often quite happy with our work when He has found no joy in it. Blessed are they who can differentiate between ministry to sinners or saints, and ministry to Him. Such discernment is not easily acquired. Often it is only by much drastic dealing that we learn the difference between ministry to the Lord Himself and ministry to the House.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
The Timing Issue (Part II)
I can tell you that the waiting is definitely not easy, because there is always a press, a straining forward. Apostle Paul said in Phil 3:13 'I press on towards the goal for the prize which Christ has called me heavenward.' There will be times you will be discouraged when you see nothing happening. There will be lies thrown by your enemy saying you must be crazy or stupid to believe this promise. Your enemy may tell you that you must have heard God wrongly for if it is really His will, it must have already happened long ago. You may be comparing yourself to people around you who too have waited but have received their promises. You may be wondering what is taking God so long or whether you have missed it somewhere. Or that God has forgotten you and left you behind.
In times like these, brethren, you must go back to His word. Go back to the vision that you have written and encourage yourself in The Lord. Focus on His faithfulness and His love for you. Maybe just take some time off that promise and rest in His presence. It will refocus you and give you strength to carry on. Reviewing your past victories will also help to strengthen your faith as you tell yourself that since God has done it for you before, He will surely do it again. Tell yourself that you are not alone, for many great men of faith in the bible and even in modern times have gone through the path and emerged victorious. Whatever it is, don't give up. When the going gets tough, you can always take a break, time out but don't leave the race. You may think that the fulfillment of this promise is all about you but you will never know how much your perseverance will impact others. It's not just about you anymore.
So you may think: if this vision God gave me may only occur some time in the future, which I don't know, so what am I going to do in the meantime, while waiting? There is always a time and season for things to happen this side of heaven. I would say: just enjoy whichever season you are in. Even though you are still waiting for that promise to manifest, it doesn't mean that is the only exciting thing that is ever going to happen in your life. Along the way, God has many bountiful blessings stored up for you, as some harvests in your life may come earlier. Just enjoy these blessings of God along the way. The key is finding a balance between giving up on your dream and being so fixated on it that you cannot do anything else. That is a place of peace, while you can rest in Him while waiting.
Sometimes you may have to go through a season or two before you come to that due season, the appointed time of your manifestation. Some of these seasons may feel like the wilderness. Know that these seasons are necessary to prepare you if not God wouldn't have allowed you to go through those seasons of waiting. While you may not like these wilderness seasons, they are very important in building up your character. For it is usually in the wilderness that one gets to encounter God in undiscovered ways and that one gets to discover who he or she is to Him. God is merciful. He will not leave you in that dry season for too long. When you have learnt and heard all that He wanted to teach you in that season, He wastes no time in moving you out of the desert.
When that time comes, things will start to get exciting. You will know your due season has come from the messages God has been showing you. Not only that, He will cause signs and wonders to occur according to His messages. Look out for the changes in seasons, the signs of the fig tree telling you that summer is near. The reason He is showing you these signs is to get you prepared to cross over to the new season. Usually God will tell you to fan into flames, rekindle the fire, raise up your hopes and expectancy, look out for the manifestation of your promise. He is getting you into position to 'give birth to' this dream. Be sensitive to His leading and be prompt to do what He tells you during this time for it would be crucial to the delivery. It is an exciting time because all those years you have been waiting for it, this moment has finally arrived. You wouldn't want to miss a single bit of this momentous time in your life. Yes, in a short while, you will be carrying this promise which means that you have finished the race well. And your reward has finally come. Your joy would be great!
In times like these, brethren, you must go back to His word. Go back to the vision that you have written and encourage yourself in The Lord. Focus on His faithfulness and His love for you. Maybe just take some time off that promise and rest in His presence. It will refocus you and give you strength to carry on. Reviewing your past victories will also help to strengthen your faith as you tell yourself that since God has done it for you before, He will surely do it again. Tell yourself that you are not alone, for many great men of faith in the bible and even in modern times have gone through the path and emerged victorious. Whatever it is, don't give up. When the going gets tough, you can always take a break, time out but don't leave the race. You may think that the fulfillment of this promise is all about you but you will never know how much your perseverance will impact others. It's not just about you anymore.
So you may think: if this vision God gave me may only occur some time in the future, which I don't know, so what am I going to do in the meantime, while waiting? There is always a time and season for things to happen this side of heaven. I would say: just enjoy whichever season you are in. Even though you are still waiting for that promise to manifest, it doesn't mean that is the only exciting thing that is ever going to happen in your life. Along the way, God has many bountiful blessings stored up for you, as some harvests in your life may come earlier. Just enjoy these blessings of God along the way. The key is finding a balance between giving up on your dream and being so fixated on it that you cannot do anything else. That is a place of peace, while you can rest in Him while waiting.
Sometimes you may have to go through a season or two before you come to that due season, the appointed time of your manifestation. Some of these seasons may feel like the wilderness. Know that these seasons are necessary to prepare you if not God wouldn't have allowed you to go through those seasons of waiting. While you may not like these wilderness seasons, they are very important in building up your character. For it is usually in the wilderness that one gets to encounter God in undiscovered ways and that one gets to discover who he or she is to Him. God is merciful. He will not leave you in that dry season for too long. When you have learnt and heard all that He wanted to teach you in that season, He wastes no time in moving you out of the desert.
When that time comes, things will start to get exciting. You will know your due season has come from the messages God has been showing you. Not only that, He will cause signs and wonders to occur according to His messages. Look out for the changes in seasons, the signs of the fig tree telling you that summer is near. The reason He is showing you these signs is to get you prepared to cross over to the new season. Usually God will tell you to fan into flames, rekindle the fire, raise up your hopes and expectancy, look out for the manifestation of your promise. He is getting you into position to 'give birth to' this dream. Be sensitive to His leading and be prompt to do what He tells you during this time for it would be crucial to the delivery. It is an exciting time because all those years you have been waiting for it, this moment has finally arrived. You wouldn't want to miss a single bit of this momentous time in your life. Yes, in a short while, you will be carrying this promise which means that you have finished the race well. And your reward has finally come. Your joy would be great!
The Timing Issue (Part I)
The other day I was reading my 2011 blog posts. I was surprised to notice that God was telling me many of the same things He is saying now! This meant that I haven't really moved on from that mountain all these years. By right He shouldn't be telling me the same thing years ago. I should have moved on, He should have been telling me other things now. After so many years, I was still on the topic of season change and transition times. I guess the timing issue has been a stronghold for not only I have problems accepting His timing, I also had much difficulty discerning if my time has really come.
This was compounded by the fact that a long time has passed and I have mistaken so many times that this was it when it still wasn't the appointed time. Maybe in my heart I so desperately wanted my time to come that I psyched myself to believe it. Did God ever try to tell me it wasn't so? Or was it only on hindsight that I realized He was trying to tell me it wasn't so yet I wouldn't listen. But I guess I was just so ready to embrace the tiniest possibility that my time has come. I was so ready to raise my hopes knowing full well that I might be disappointed later on. I carried on like this for many years until this year.
Somehow I decided to take a different stance. I decided not to be desperate but to be nonchalant. I decided I shall not easily believe that my time has come unless God proved it to me. Unless He managed to convince me. I don't want to misinterpret Him on this matter anymore. And so I put the onus on Him to persuade me. I don't want to jump to conclusions or blindly step out in faith unless I was so sure that He had spoken. I rather wait than to step out amiss. Chances that I miss His timing are far lesser than me stepping out and falling flat on my face.
On hindsight, I realized that the enemy could press my button in a certain area of my life because I had allowed him to. It was due to the stronghold in my mind. I guess when God said He wouldn't show me His will for my next season in 2008 because He wanted me to trust Him, the enemy planted a lie since then. His lie was that I will never know God's will or the exact timing of this promise. And ever since then, the enemy has been torturing me on this point that I couldn't know His timing. Just because God said He wouldn't show me His will then doesn't mean it's forever. There would come a time (and it has happened) that He came and revealed to me His will for my next season without me asking for it.
For whatever reason that God couldn't reveal to me His will back in 2008, I trust that it must be for my own good. Perhaps I would have given up if He revealed to me that I must wait so long for this promise. Or what would I have done in the interim? Would I have continued to seek Him for my next steps? Or maybe by revealing His timing for this promise, it would have created a bigger stronghold for I would always be referring to the appointed time as somewhere very far in the future. The truth of the matter is when my appointed time comes, there is no reason for God to hide it from me. When the fullness of time has come, God will surely tell me what I need to know about the timing, so that I could agree with Him, cooperate with Him and declare the thing He is bringing to pass in my life.
I noticed that for many people, when God sent them a vision or prophecy, He usually doesn't reveal when it will happen. I guess He doesn't want us to be fixated on this certain time in our future. He wants us to live in the present, savor the moment, live dependent on His leading everyday. Usually when people first received that prophetic word from God, they always assume that this will take place very soon in the future. But when it didn't happen and things got more difficult instead, they got all disillusioned or bitter. What they didn't realize was the devil was trying to steal that word, that vision from their heart. So when they gave up believing God for that vision, the enemy succeeded. Most people may have no problem believing the vision no matter how impossible it seemed. What I find common is that they will face problems when they realized that there is an appointed time for the fulfillment and that time isn't always revealed to them. They usually won't know how long to wait. Now that may be a great uncertainty to many people who must have some control over their lives, like me in the past.
That's why Hab 2:3 was written to encourage them to press on in their faith, keeping in mind that the vision awaits an appointed time but it will surely come and not delay. What people need to know is there is usually a process leading up to the fulfillment of that vision. It may be fast or slow but nevertheless it is a necessary process when God prepares you for that blessing. That is why it is called is a fight of faith. If it happens soon enough, well and good. But the question remains: if it tarries, will you be willing to wait for it, until it happens. Yes, God's gifts and calling for our lives are irrevocable but the actual fulfillment of it still depended on our response to a certain extent. Because God has given us free choice and we can choose not to wait, or to give up on that vision. We can say no to His plan for our lives, because it was getting too tough or too painful to carry on believing.
Let me tell you what is more painful. The death of a dream. The end of all hopes for what you have been believing God for. Somehow you know God has indeed spoken, given you His promise but yet you chose to give it up. When you did that, one part of you died for you will never know how it feels like when that dream is fulfilled. You will live life always wondering what would have happened if you have persevered till this promise came to pass. Yes, you may get momentary relief from the resistance or the pain but this dream may haunt you for the rest of your life. Of course at some point you may come to the place of peace. But as for me, I rather choose to persevere till I see this promise fulfilled in my life. I know when that day comes, all that I have gone through would be nothing compared to the joy of holding this promise in your hands. The joy of entering into all that God has prepared us for.
This was compounded by the fact that a long time has passed and I have mistaken so many times that this was it when it still wasn't the appointed time. Maybe in my heart I so desperately wanted my time to come that I psyched myself to believe it. Did God ever try to tell me it wasn't so? Or was it only on hindsight that I realized He was trying to tell me it wasn't so yet I wouldn't listen. But I guess I was just so ready to embrace the tiniest possibility that my time has come. I was so ready to raise my hopes knowing full well that I might be disappointed later on. I carried on like this for many years until this year.
Somehow I decided to take a different stance. I decided not to be desperate but to be nonchalant. I decided I shall not easily believe that my time has come unless God proved it to me. Unless He managed to convince me. I don't want to misinterpret Him on this matter anymore. And so I put the onus on Him to persuade me. I don't want to jump to conclusions or blindly step out in faith unless I was so sure that He had spoken. I rather wait than to step out amiss. Chances that I miss His timing are far lesser than me stepping out and falling flat on my face.
On hindsight, I realized that the enemy could press my button in a certain area of my life because I had allowed him to. It was due to the stronghold in my mind. I guess when God said He wouldn't show me His will for my next season in 2008 because He wanted me to trust Him, the enemy planted a lie since then. His lie was that I will never know God's will or the exact timing of this promise. And ever since then, the enemy has been torturing me on this point that I couldn't know His timing. Just because God said He wouldn't show me His will then doesn't mean it's forever. There would come a time (and it has happened) that He came and revealed to me His will for my next season without me asking for it.
For whatever reason that God couldn't reveal to me His will back in 2008, I trust that it must be for my own good. Perhaps I would have given up if He revealed to me that I must wait so long for this promise. Or what would I have done in the interim? Would I have continued to seek Him for my next steps? Or maybe by revealing His timing for this promise, it would have created a bigger stronghold for I would always be referring to the appointed time as somewhere very far in the future. The truth of the matter is when my appointed time comes, there is no reason for God to hide it from me. When the fullness of time has come, God will surely tell me what I need to know about the timing, so that I could agree with Him, cooperate with Him and declare the thing He is bringing to pass in my life.
I noticed that for many people, when God sent them a vision or prophecy, He usually doesn't reveal when it will happen. I guess He doesn't want us to be fixated on this certain time in our future. He wants us to live in the present, savor the moment, live dependent on His leading everyday. Usually when people first received that prophetic word from God, they always assume that this will take place very soon in the future. But when it didn't happen and things got more difficult instead, they got all disillusioned or bitter. What they didn't realize was the devil was trying to steal that word, that vision from their heart. So when they gave up believing God for that vision, the enemy succeeded. Most people may have no problem believing the vision no matter how impossible it seemed. What I find common is that they will face problems when they realized that there is an appointed time for the fulfillment and that time isn't always revealed to them. They usually won't know how long to wait. Now that may be a great uncertainty to many people who must have some control over their lives, like me in the past.
That's why Hab 2:3 was written to encourage them to press on in their faith, keeping in mind that the vision awaits an appointed time but it will surely come and not delay. What people need to know is there is usually a process leading up to the fulfillment of that vision. It may be fast or slow but nevertheless it is a necessary process when God prepares you for that blessing. That is why it is called is a fight of faith. If it happens soon enough, well and good. But the question remains: if it tarries, will you be willing to wait for it, until it happens. Yes, God's gifts and calling for our lives are irrevocable but the actual fulfillment of it still depended on our response to a certain extent. Because God has given us free choice and we can choose not to wait, or to give up on that vision. We can say no to His plan for our lives, because it was getting too tough or too painful to carry on believing.
Let me tell you what is more painful. The death of a dream. The end of all hopes for what you have been believing God for. Somehow you know God has indeed spoken, given you His promise but yet you chose to give it up. When you did that, one part of you died for you will never know how it feels like when that dream is fulfilled. You will live life always wondering what would have happened if you have persevered till this promise came to pass. Yes, you may get momentary relief from the resistance or the pain but this dream may haunt you for the rest of your life. Of course at some point you may come to the place of peace. But as for me, I rather choose to persevere till I see this promise fulfilled in my life. I know when that day comes, all that I have gone through would be nothing compared to the joy of holding this promise in your hands. The joy of entering into all that God has prepared us for.
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
Korean dramas
Recently I am watching a Korean drama by Lee Min Ho called 'Personal Taste'. I don't know whether it's because his cool and nonchalant attitude reminded me of Heng in the past or that he is really good looking, an eye candy. But those scenes when he took care of the female character really warms my heart. Somehow these romantic scenes are very well taken. I cannot help but feel intoxicated by this love they had.
It's just the way he looked at the female lead...so very sweet. I don't know why but I feel like a young girl all over again. These intense emotions of love are coming back to me.
Maybe I feel so very loved by my dear hubby and also by My Lord Jesus. I know I am not indulging in a fantasy love world. It's reality. But I am so very drawn by the drama that I cannot help watching three episodes in a row. This story talked about a girl who lost her mother since young. She grew up without the love of her father, and ended up living like a naive girl even when she was all grown up. She was betrayed by her good friend and her boyfriend, who attempted to get married without her knowing. She was heartbroken and devastated.
Eventually she met this guy acted by Lee Min Ho, her tenant who managed to turn her from a girl to a woman and helped nursed her emotional wounds. She mistook him for a gay so was able to open her heart to him. They grew closer as the day passed, having spent a lot of time together as roommates. This guy even helped her take revenge at her ex-boyfriend as he changed his mind to woo her back. But this guy had unknowingly fallen in love with her. She was also beginning to see him as the most important person in her world.
This lady was kind and very caring but she got emotionally attached to people easily. She was also very trusting. After spending some time with her roommate, she grew very attached to him because he took meticulous care of her since she was quite a scatterbrained person. There were many funny moments of them together too. He told her to be strong and not trust people easily but she said she couldn't, maybe because she was deprived of love and affection. Her mum died when she was five and her dad didn't really show love to her. The guy's heart went out to her when she said that and showed her more tender loving care.
Slowly the female lead found herself falling in love with her roommate yet because she thought he was gay, he would never be able to love her as a woman. That pained her heart so much because she had an unrequited, one-sided love. She even wished that she could be born a man! Unrequited love is so painful...and I know Jesus feels that way whenever I couldn't reciprocate His love for me. He longs for intimacy, much like a man who loves his woman longs to hold her, touch her and be intimate with her. Now I understand the verse 'hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life' from His perspective.
I was wondering why God had me indulge in a world of intense love. He knows I have been inundated with all these poisonous and negative thoughts in recent months. And the only effective way to deal with such fearful and doubtful thoughts was to indulge in His perfect love for perfect love casts out all fear. In this perfect love with Christ, there is no room for any doubts or unbelief. Pastor Prince said the time you love God most is when you are most conscious of His love for you. And good things happen to you when you are conscious of His love for you. Faith works effortlessly in an atmosphere of love. Don't judge His love for you from your circumstances. Look to the cross, where God's demonstration of love was clearly portrayed.
As I watched the Korean dramas, I also realized that through these years of spending time with God, I have grown so attached to Him. Those little things we shared together, the times He spoke to me and encouraged me, comforted me. The secrets He shared with me, how He opened up His heart and shared His thoughts with me. I remembered how I would cry out my heart to Him and take my doubts to Him, reasoning with Him. How I wavered at times, how I went through all the emotional ups and downs but every time without fail, God will give me hope and bring me back to the place of peace.
It was really magical for me to be lost in the world of intoxicating love. It made me think about our courtship days. It was so sweet and intense. Of course our love has grown so much now but sometimes it's good to reminisce those courtship days. When I think about those memories, the intense emotions of falling in love came back all over again. I believe God is the One who caused me to remember such emotions. In this world of captivating love, I also felt Jesus' love for me. It was so wonderful that I didn't want to leave this world. Nothing else mattered so long as I was in His embrace, with my eyes locked in His.
In this magical world, I feel like I am so beautiful and so precious, hotly pursued by my Lover. In and of myself I am not that attractive, just like that female lead. But because my Lover is so handsome and outstanding, yet the fact that He only has eyes for me makes me so special. It's like what is it in me that made Him love me so much. Yet it's not about me but all about Him. Just like when the father asked the guy what was it that he loved about his daughter, he couldn't answer, yet he said his heart was just so drawn to her. How true! There is nothing in me that could attract Jesus but yet my heart so captivates Him. At the end of the day, it's about His great love for me. I am so blessed for I experienced this love and I know Him intimately.
After watching a few Korean dramas, I realized that true love always faced some resistance. The couple will usually face opposition from parents or there will be a jealous person trying to wreck their relationship. Either that or they have hidden some truths and afraid that the other person will find out and feel betrayed. In such cases, there's a stronghold over them. The moments the couple spent together are often very sweet but alas, there are always distractions from the outside. But I guess these are all tests of true love for their relationship and true love is able to withstand such tests. Eventually the couple who is determined enough to be committed to love each other will always end up together. Like in the case of this drama, the couple finally overcame all the odds and the guy proposed to her. What a perfect ending!
Maybe I feel so very loved by my dear hubby and also by My Lord Jesus. I know I am not indulging in a fantasy love world. It's reality. But I am so very drawn by the drama that I cannot help watching three episodes in a row. This story talked about a girl who lost her mother since young. She grew up without the love of her father, and ended up living like a naive girl even when she was all grown up. She was betrayed by her good friend and her boyfriend, who attempted to get married without her knowing. She was heartbroken and devastated.
Eventually she met this guy acted by Lee Min Ho, her tenant who managed to turn her from a girl to a woman and helped nursed her emotional wounds. She mistook him for a gay so was able to open her heart to him. They grew closer as the day passed, having spent a lot of time together as roommates. This guy even helped her take revenge at her ex-boyfriend as he changed his mind to woo her back. But this guy had unknowingly fallen in love with her. She was also beginning to see him as the most important person in her world.
This lady was kind and very caring but she got emotionally attached to people easily. She was also very trusting. After spending some time with her roommate, she grew very attached to him because he took meticulous care of her since she was quite a scatterbrained person. There were many funny moments of them together too. He told her to be strong and not trust people easily but she said she couldn't, maybe because she was deprived of love and affection. Her mum died when she was five and her dad didn't really show love to her. The guy's heart went out to her when she said that and showed her more tender loving care.
Slowly the female lead found herself falling in love with her roommate yet because she thought he was gay, he would never be able to love her as a woman. That pained her heart so much because she had an unrequited, one-sided love. She even wished that she could be born a man! Unrequited love is so painful...and I know Jesus feels that way whenever I couldn't reciprocate His love for me. He longs for intimacy, much like a man who loves his woman longs to hold her, touch her and be intimate with her. Now I understand the verse 'hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life' from His perspective.
I was wondering why God had me indulge in a world of intense love. He knows I have been inundated with all these poisonous and negative thoughts in recent months. And the only effective way to deal with such fearful and doubtful thoughts was to indulge in His perfect love for perfect love casts out all fear. In this perfect love with Christ, there is no room for any doubts or unbelief. Pastor Prince said the time you love God most is when you are most conscious of His love for you. And good things happen to you when you are conscious of His love for you. Faith works effortlessly in an atmosphere of love. Don't judge His love for you from your circumstances. Look to the cross, where God's demonstration of love was clearly portrayed.
As I watched the Korean dramas, I also realized that through these years of spending time with God, I have grown so attached to Him. Those little things we shared together, the times He spoke to me and encouraged me, comforted me. The secrets He shared with me, how He opened up His heart and shared His thoughts with me. I remembered how I would cry out my heart to Him and take my doubts to Him, reasoning with Him. How I wavered at times, how I went through all the emotional ups and downs but every time without fail, God will give me hope and bring me back to the place of peace.
It was really magical for me to be lost in the world of intoxicating love. It made me think about our courtship days. It was so sweet and intense. Of course our love has grown so much now but sometimes it's good to reminisce those courtship days. When I think about those memories, the intense emotions of falling in love came back all over again. I believe God is the One who caused me to remember such emotions. In this world of captivating love, I also felt Jesus' love for me. It was so wonderful that I didn't want to leave this world. Nothing else mattered so long as I was in His embrace, with my eyes locked in His.
In this magical world, I feel like I am so beautiful and so precious, hotly pursued by my Lover. In and of myself I am not that attractive, just like that female lead. But because my Lover is so handsome and outstanding, yet the fact that He only has eyes for me makes me so special. It's like what is it in me that made Him love me so much. Yet it's not about me but all about Him. Just like when the father asked the guy what was it that he loved about his daughter, he couldn't answer, yet he said his heart was just so drawn to her. How true! There is nothing in me that could attract Jesus but yet my heart so captivates Him. At the end of the day, it's about His great love for me. I am so blessed for I experienced this love and I know Him intimately.
After watching a few Korean dramas, I realized that true love always faced some resistance. The couple will usually face opposition from parents or there will be a jealous person trying to wreck their relationship. Either that or they have hidden some truths and afraid that the other person will find out and feel betrayed. In such cases, there's a stronghold over them. The moments the couple spent together are often very sweet but alas, there are always distractions from the outside. But I guess these are all tests of true love for their relationship and true love is able to withstand such tests. Eventually the couple who is determined enough to be committed to love each other will always end up together. Like in the case of this drama, the couple finally overcame all the odds and the guy proposed to her. What a perfect ending!
Friday, September 12, 2014
God's protection
In recent months, Pastor Prince has been preaching a lot on Psalms 91, the Psalms of protection. Our church even printed small cards with Psalms 91 printed for us to carry in our wallets and urged us to memorize the verses. During care group meetings, we have also discussed at length what the psalms mean and how they offer protection. But nothing beats an actual experience when one encounters the awesome protection power of God.
Our family went to Legoland Malaysia yesterday. We had a long day outing. God granted us journey mercies as we travelled in foreign land. The amazing thing was at the end of the day, when we reached our lift lobby, I realized that our home keys were missing. It never happened to me before. I always remember to lock the door before I leave home. But this morning I was distracted by Joshua as I helped him to wear his sandals and I realized I really could have left the keys on the door! I panicked when that thought flashed across my mind. Heng told me not to worry and said to go up first. As we went up, I really prayed and hoped that the keys were exactly there as I left them in the morning. Praise God that the keys were really there! The door wasn't even closed properly! I quickly went in to check if our valuables were still there! Thank God that everything was still intact!
It was super amazing because we were away for more than eight hours, not the short outings we had normally. And God is so good. He didn't let me discover that my keys were missing until we got home. If not, I would be so worried if I found out anytime during the day. We might have to cut short our outing to come home early. But we didn't. God let us enjoy our outing thoroughly before I realized this. He has sent angels to protect our dwelling place so that no disaster could come near it. No wonder I kept feeling that God has gone ahead of our day to bless it so we will surely enjoy. Even though it was raining, I still trusted that God will somehow ensure we could enjoy our day out. God caused the rain to stop at some points so we could take some rides. He is so good.
Psalm 91:9-10 says 'Because you have made The Lord, who is my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place, no evil shall befall you, nor any disaster come near your dwelling...' Dear beloved, I encourage you to claim God's protection for you and your loved ones. No matter how smart, how careful we are, there will always be times when we forget or make a mistake. Even if we are doing all the right things to keep ourselves and our home out of danger, there will surely be times when we still need The Lord's protection. In any case, knowing we have a Heavenly Father who watches over us and our loved ones gives us a peace of mind to enjoy our daily lives. We don't need to worry whether there would be harm ahead because God will cover us with His feathers. We are safe and secure under His wings, in the secret place of the Most High. Oh how wonderful is His protection!
Our family went to Legoland Malaysia yesterday. We had a long day outing. God granted us journey mercies as we travelled in foreign land. The amazing thing was at the end of the day, when we reached our lift lobby, I realized that our home keys were missing. It never happened to me before. I always remember to lock the door before I leave home. But this morning I was distracted by Joshua as I helped him to wear his sandals and I realized I really could have left the keys on the door! I panicked when that thought flashed across my mind. Heng told me not to worry and said to go up first. As we went up, I really prayed and hoped that the keys were exactly there as I left them in the morning. Praise God that the keys were really there! The door wasn't even closed properly! I quickly went in to check if our valuables were still there! Thank God that everything was still intact!
It was super amazing because we were away for more than eight hours, not the short outings we had normally. And God is so good. He didn't let me discover that my keys were missing until we got home. If not, I would be so worried if I found out anytime during the day. We might have to cut short our outing to come home early. But we didn't. God let us enjoy our outing thoroughly before I realized this. He has sent angels to protect our dwelling place so that no disaster could come near it. No wonder I kept feeling that God has gone ahead of our day to bless it so we will surely enjoy. Even though it was raining, I still trusted that God will somehow ensure we could enjoy our day out. God caused the rain to stop at some points so we could take some rides. He is so good.
Psalm 91:9-10 says 'Because you have made The Lord, who is my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place, no evil shall befall you, nor any disaster come near your dwelling...' Dear beloved, I encourage you to claim God's protection for you and your loved ones. No matter how smart, how careful we are, there will always be times when we forget or make a mistake. Even if we are doing all the right things to keep ourselves and our home out of danger, there will surely be times when we still need The Lord's protection. In any case, knowing we have a Heavenly Father who watches over us and our loved ones gives us a peace of mind to enjoy our daily lives. We don't need to worry whether there would be harm ahead because God will cover us with His feathers. We are safe and secure under His wings, in the secret place of the Most High. Oh how wonderful is His protection!
Monday, May 19, 2014
Condemnation kills!
Last week I was caught up with some issues and became easily agitated. One evening Joshua came back and I saw that his Chinese mini test was not so good. He had a few careless mistakes in my opinion and these could be avoided. Because I was already restless, I flared up at him. I started to get anxious about the English mini test the next day. Usually when he got home, he would ask to play my hand phone for a while before dinner, just to relax. But that day I refused to let him play and told him to start doing the assessment papers even before dinner. I knew he was upset but I didn't care. Then after dinner and his bath, I made him do even more assessment papers. He was having a runny nose which seemed to get worse after I made him do all that. After that I gave him some flu medicine and let him play the handphone for a while before he went to bed. That night he went to bed early but he woke up a few times because he was feeling uncomfortable, maybe due to the blocked nose. Every time he woke up, it seemed like he was having a nightmare and woke up wimping.
Guess what? After all the preparation for his English test, the next day Joshua woke up with worse symptoms of runny nose, stomachache and even a mild fever. He couldn't go to school and had to give the test a miss. But thank God because Heng was also on leave that day, he spent some time playing chess with Joshua in the afternoon. It was the first time Joshua played English chess and he caught it after his daddy taught him once. Joshua was even able to defeat his daddy in a few rounds. Heng praised Joshua and told him that he was smart and quick to learn new things. I could see Joshua starting to beam with joy. Even though the doctor said Joshua may have viral infection, hence the mild fever, we trust that Jesus has healed him. And true enough, the next day, Joshua was well enough to go back to school.
After he went to school, the Lord showed me something from this incident. Firstly He showed me that I was frustrated because I had unknowingly put myself under the law. I forgot that it's not about my works but I am the righteousness of God in Christ. I allowed myself to be bullied by the devil through his attempts of condemnation on me. As I was feeling lousy under condemnation, I found myself giving my son the law too. I started to demand this and that from him. Actually his daddy said he has done quite well in the Chinese test but I was still not satisfied. And as I put him under the law, forcing him to do many assessments even though my spirit was feeling uneasy, I saw the effects on Joshua. His spirits became quite down and it manifested in the symptoms of flu and he couldn't sleep well that night. I don't think he purposely willed to fall sick and miss his English test but that was the result of me putting him under the law. But thank God for his spirits were restored when his daddy showed forth his approval and good opinion through the chess game. And as he became happy again, he was able to recover very quickly. The bible says a merry heart does well like good medicine. How true this it!
The Lord also gently reminded me that as I too had put myself under the law and hence under condemnation. Condemnation really kills. It not only makes my life miserable but it makes the lives of my loved ones miserable too. Similarly it was only when I hear my Daddy God told me He is pleased with me, He is proud of me and He approves of me that I was restored. When I come under His loving grace, condemnation has no power over me. I know I am His beloved and my righteousness is from Jesus, not my works. I see Jesus standing in front of me asking 'What do you want Me to do for you?' I was so touched that I cried. God is so good to me. He is always supplying, never demanding. This is grace. I had been so focused in the demands expected of me and what men think of me that I forgot it's not about me. It's all about Jesus. Whatever I ever needed was already supplied by Him. With this, my heart was restored to peace and joy once again. Thank You, Jesus!
Guess what? After all the preparation for his English test, the next day Joshua woke up with worse symptoms of runny nose, stomachache and even a mild fever. He couldn't go to school and had to give the test a miss. But thank God because Heng was also on leave that day, he spent some time playing chess with Joshua in the afternoon. It was the first time Joshua played English chess and he caught it after his daddy taught him once. Joshua was even able to defeat his daddy in a few rounds. Heng praised Joshua and told him that he was smart and quick to learn new things. I could see Joshua starting to beam with joy. Even though the doctor said Joshua may have viral infection, hence the mild fever, we trust that Jesus has healed him. And true enough, the next day, Joshua was well enough to go back to school.
After he went to school, the Lord showed me something from this incident. Firstly He showed me that I was frustrated because I had unknowingly put myself under the law. I forgot that it's not about my works but I am the righteousness of God in Christ. I allowed myself to be bullied by the devil through his attempts of condemnation on me. As I was feeling lousy under condemnation, I found myself giving my son the law too. I started to demand this and that from him. Actually his daddy said he has done quite well in the Chinese test but I was still not satisfied. And as I put him under the law, forcing him to do many assessments even though my spirit was feeling uneasy, I saw the effects on Joshua. His spirits became quite down and it manifested in the symptoms of flu and he couldn't sleep well that night. I don't think he purposely willed to fall sick and miss his English test but that was the result of me putting him under the law. But thank God for his spirits were restored when his daddy showed forth his approval and good opinion through the chess game. And as he became happy again, he was able to recover very quickly. The bible says a merry heart does well like good medicine. How true this it!
The Lord also gently reminded me that as I too had put myself under the law and hence under condemnation. Condemnation really kills. It not only makes my life miserable but it makes the lives of my loved ones miserable too. Similarly it was only when I hear my Daddy God told me He is pleased with me, He is proud of me and He approves of me that I was restored. When I come under His loving grace, condemnation has no power over me. I know I am His beloved and my righteousness is from Jesus, not my works. I see Jesus standing in front of me asking 'What do you want Me to do for you?' I was so touched that I cried. God is so good to me. He is always supplying, never demanding. This is grace. I had been so focused in the demands expected of me and what men think of me that I forgot it's not about me. It's all about Jesus. Whatever I ever needed was already supplied by Him. With this, my heart was restored to peace and joy once again. Thank You, Jesus!
Saturday, May 17, 2014
Impregnated
I came across this word in the definition of stronghold. It's a mindset impregnated with hopelessness that leads us to accept as unchangeable situations which we know are contrary to His will. Well, I have always known what is a stronghold but this definition gave me a new level of understanding. It's related to what Pastor Prince always said about how right believing leads to right living. It all starts with the mind, with a simple thought. It is like inception.
Somehow somewhere along the way, the enemy planted a lie in your mind, telling you that your situation will never change. That you are forever stuck in that rut, kept in that bondage. That no matter what you do, how you cry out to The Lord, He won't be able to hear you and save you. As you begin to believe this lie, the enemy starts to have an open door into this area of your thought life that is vulnerable. He will then cause situations to happen according to what he said. Then he will come back and reinforce his message that nothing is ever going to change. And you become more deeply entrenched in this lie, enforcing a viscous cycle. Soon you find yourself feeling hopeless about your situation, wondering if it would ever change.
But the good news is, just as this stronghold starts with a simple thought, it can be overcome by another simple thought. Just as the enemy can impregnate your mind with his lies, God can impregnate your mind with His truth. It is the thought that Jesus saves to the uttermost and there is nothing impossible to Him. But this process of turn around has to start with your act of will. Choosing to think what the word says, what God says about your situation. Whenever you begin to do that, there will surely be resistance from the enemy because he knows if you introduce Christ into your situation, that is the start of his downfall in the area of his lies. He will fight back with a ferocity in your thought life and sometimes in the circumstances of your life. He will cause a storm to rise up and make the situation seem worse than before, making you wonder if the word of God really works.
As you choose to replace those lies with God's word, the process of renewing your mind begins just as the bible says in Romans 12:2. It will not happen overnight but slowly and surely, as you continue and persist on focusing your thought life with what God can do, then you will start to witness His power in your life. When your thoughts are made pregnant with His word, you will conceive incorruptible seed and bear fruit. This fruit will eventually manifest as there will be signs of turn around in your life. Your circumstances will begin to line up with His word. When this happens, hope and faith will rise up within you because God has already proven that nothing is unchangeable. Everything you can see is temporary and subject to change. And you are starting to see these changes in your life which you used to believe are unchangeable.
As God reinforced His message that He has come to change and shift your season, and He backs up His word with the circumstances, your beliefs that there is hope for your situation and that you will see the manifestation of your promise are more deeply entrenched. Soon, you will no longer focus on the enemy's lies about your situation but choose to believe and declare God's word for your life. As time goes on, you will find that the enemy's lies get weaker and less convincing. Every area of your life that glistens with hope in God is an area which is being liberated by Christ, the hope of glory. Eventually the word of God in your heart will bear fruit and that's when you see a breakthrough in your thoughts. One day, you will realize that you are no longer enslaved by negative and hopeless thoughts in that area. The stronghold has already been torn down and you are set free from that bondage.
Very soon, the deliverance in your thought life will manifest in the physical realm. That's when the thing you hoped for came to pass. It has become a reality, no longer just wishful thinking. Your circumstance finally aligned itself to the word of God, which is also His will for your life. Joy has come to abide in places where you used to mourn. Light has penetrated the area of your thought life that was once dark. Hope has replaced the hopelessness that you once felt and change has occurred in the very area of your life which you once thought was unchangeable. Christ has caused you to overcome that area you were repeatedly defeated in and the enemy no longer has any hold on you anymore. Praise Jesus!
Somehow somewhere along the way, the enemy planted a lie in your mind, telling you that your situation will never change. That you are forever stuck in that rut, kept in that bondage. That no matter what you do, how you cry out to The Lord, He won't be able to hear you and save you. As you begin to believe this lie, the enemy starts to have an open door into this area of your thought life that is vulnerable. He will then cause situations to happen according to what he said. Then he will come back and reinforce his message that nothing is ever going to change. And you become more deeply entrenched in this lie, enforcing a viscous cycle. Soon you find yourself feeling hopeless about your situation, wondering if it would ever change.
But the good news is, just as this stronghold starts with a simple thought, it can be overcome by another simple thought. Just as the enemy can impregnate your mind with his lies, God can impregnate your mind with His truth. It is the thought that Jesus saves to the uttermost and there is nothing impossible to Him. But this process of turn around has to start with your act of will. Choosing to think what the word says, what God says about your situation. Whenever you begin to do that, there will surely be resistance from the enemy because he knows if you introduce Christ into your situation, that is the start of his downfall in the area of his lies. He will fight back with a ferocity in your thought life and sometimes in the circumstances of your life. He will cause a storm to rise up and make the situation seem worse than before, making you wonder if the word of God really works.
As you choose to replace those lies with God's word, the process of renewing your mind begins just as the bible says in Romans 12:2. It will not happen overnight but slowly and surely, as you continue and persist on focusing your thought life with what God can do, then you will start to witness His power in your life. When your thoughts are made pregnant with His word, you will conceive incorruptible seed and bear fruit. This fruit will eventually manifest as there will be signs of turn around in your life. Your circumstances will begin to line up with His word. When this happens, hope and faith will rise up within you because God has already proven that nothing is unchangeable. Everything you can see is temporary and subject to change. And you are starting to see these changes in your life which you used to believe are unchangeable.
As God reinforced His message that He has come to change and shift your season, and He backs up His word with the circumstances, your beliefs that there is hope for your situation and that you will see the manifestation of your promise are more deeply entrenched. Soon, you will no longer focus on the enemy's lies about your situation but choose to believe and declare God's word for your life. As time goes on, you will find that the enemy's lies get weaker and less convincing. Every area of your life that glistens with hope in God is an area which is being liberated by Christ, the hope of glory. Eventually the word of God in your heart will bear fruit and that's when you see a breakthrough in your thoughts. One day, you will realize that you are no longer enslaved by negative and hopeless thoughts in that area. The stronghold has already been torn down and you are set free from that bondage.
Very soon, the deliverance in your thought life will manifest in the physical realm. That's when the thing you hoped for came to pass. It has become a reality, no longer just wishful thinking. Your circumstance finally aligned itself to the word of God, which is also His will for your life. Joy has come to abide in places where you used to mourn. Light has penetrated the area of your thought life that was once dark. Hope has replaced the hopelessness that you once felt and change has occurred in the very area of your life which you once thought was unchangeable. Christ has caused you to overcome that area you were repeatedly defeated in and the enemy no longer has any hold on you anymore. Praise Jesus!
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Times of transition
Recently I am reading a book called 'Possessing Your Inheritance' by Chuck D. Pierce and Rebecca Wagner Systema. I was thinking about what I experienced during times of transition. I read this book in end 2008 and I believe it is no coincidence that I am reading it now. As I read it, I was reminded of those times of transitions and noticed there were similarities so I decided to journal down.
1) Times of transition usually come after a time of wilderness where nothing seems to be happening and you are still waiting for God to bring you out. You will feel as if God has forgotten you or that you are stuck at one place. It's a time when it seems like God is hiding His face and He is not really telling you what is happening, showing you His will for next season or when you will move on. It's usually a time of testing where you feel that you are in a fiery furnace. A difficult place.
2) You have been crying out for the Lord to bring you out of that place and move you on. You don't want to be circling the same mountain year after year. But it seemed like your prayers went to the ground. Yet God is working something behind the scenes. He is turning things around and preparing you for a season of restoration. He will remind you of the restoration promises like Isa 66:12, Isa 61:3, Isa 61:7, Ps 30:5, Est 9:22 etc. The deeper we experience sorrow, the more capacity we have for joy. One reason that God brings joy after a season of sorrow or heartache is to bring a new wind of strength to our spirit. Joy brings a new vitality and strength. Joy produces the kind of strength we need to move into our next season.
3) Then one day, God visits you and starts giving you instructions for your new season and tell you to get ready to move on. This is when the transition starts. It is a narrow place like between the Red Sea and the marauding armies. God may prompt you to take a step of faith to close the door behind you before the manifestation comes. It totally doesn't make sense in the natural. After doing it, you will feel like you are stuck. The door has closed behind you but the door ahead is not open yet. Transition is also likened to a time just before a woman gives birth. It is usually a very intense period when you feel vulnerable, overwhelmed, restless, frustrated, disoriented, discouraged and reaching the end of your rope. It's when the opposition is the fiercest and you feel like giving up the most. Because you have traveled a long way and waited a long time, you feel like you really don't have the strength to press on. Yet this is the time you really need to press on, wait for God to grant you the second wind and give a final push to deliver the baby. Don't focus on the pain, the discomfort. Focus on the hope of the baby coming forth. Set your face like flint for the joy set before you. Verses like Phil 3:13-14 usually appear to encourage you to press forward.
4) During transition, The Lord will also show you what are the things you need to let go of, namely all the excess baggage because you cannot bring these over to your new season. Weights of the past, friends of the last season, past disappointments, past heartaches, old mindsets, even what had worked out well in the past. God redefines and adjusts whatever rules are necessary for us to get to the new place. It's a time when He 'deconstructs' whatever past achievements and strips off anything you can hold on to for security. You cannot return to the comfort of the past, yet you don't know what lies ahead. The only stability and security is His immovable nature. Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and forever. It's a time you need to focus on Him alone, carefully listen to what He is saying to us. You can reflect on His faithfulness, on how He has brought you through such times of transition and hold fast to that. As He has done before, He will make sure you cross over to the other side.
5) At the same time, He will show you that a season has passed, a chapter of your life has ended. God will bring you through a short journey of reflection on the past season and tell you that you have finished well and show you how much you have grown. He knows you have little faith but you have kept His word and not denied His name. You will also have the feeling that you have fought the good fight of faith, you have finished the race and kept the faith. Then He promises you the rewards, the crown that come with passing of that test, the completion of that assignment. You will have the abiding peace that you have done the will of God and He will surely do His part. He affirms that season is over with Phil 1:6 'He who started a good work in you will bring it to completion.' God will also prepare you for the new season ahead with verses connoting divine shifts (Isa 48:6, Isa 43:19). You will sense a new beginning on the horizon.
6) The other thing I noticed before the manifestation came was that God reminded me to remember Him, that He is the One who multiplies our numbers and gives us power to gain wealth as in Deut 8:18. Just before I conceived Joshua, God impressed upon me to build memorial stones, as a testament of His goodness to our future generations. Eventually these memorial stones were translated into my book 'Beauty out of Ashes'.
7) Suddenly, you will realize that things are starting to fall into place, exactly how God has predicted or said. And you will be amazed at the speed of how God moves. This is usually a time of revelation when you will see His beautiful plans unfold. During such times, your faith will be greatly boosted and you will start to feel the joy coming. It's like the second wind that gives you the strength for the final push to deliver the baby. From my experience, transition period lasts only a few months. It starts when God gives you instructions for the next season or when He tells you to get ready to move on. The move could be seen in a change of physical location. It could be a change in vocation...it could be dramatic or imperceptible. Sure enough, one day we will find that the shifting had occurred and we have moved solidly into the new season.
8) Nearing the end of the transition, you will find that certain issues that used to bother you so much did not affect you now. This is because the bondages and strongholds are already destroyed and the Lord has caused you to overcome where you could not in the past. There is a certain freedom when you realized that you have truly overcome such issues, no longer bound by the taunts and tortures of the mind. By now you will have also gained a new perspective to how you view certain issues. That's when the renewing of your mind is complete and old ways of thinking are gone. You will find it silly when you think about how you have allowed such issues to keep you bondage in the past, causing endless heartaches. The Lord will also open your eyes to see how blessed you have been all along and you will break forth in praise and thanksgiving. What a great deliverance! And the end result is you are more hardened to difficulties than before.
1) Times of transition usually come after a time of wilderness where nothing seems to be happening and you are still waiting for God to bring you out. You will feel as if God has forgotten you or that you are stuck at one place. It's a time when it seems like God is hiding His face and He is not really telling you what is happening, showing you His will for next season or when you will move on. It's usually a time of testing where you feel that you are in a fiery furnace. A difficult place.
2) You have been crying out for the Lord to bring you out of that place and move you on. You don't want to be circling the same mountain year after year. But it seemed like your prayers went to the ground. Yet God is working something behind the scenes. He is turning things around and preparing you for a season of restoration. He will remind you of the restoration promises like Isa 66:12, Isa 61:3, Isa 61:7, Ps 30:5, Est 9:22 etc. The deeper we experience sorrow, the more capacity we have for joy. One reason that God brings joy after a season of sorrow or heartache is to bring a new wind of strength to our spirit. Joy brings a new vitality and strength. Joy produces the kind of strength we need to move into our next season.
3) Then one day, God visits you and starts giving you instructions for your new season and tell you to get ready to move on. This is when the transition starts. It is a narrow place like between the Red Sea and the marauding armies. God may prompt you to take a step of faith to close the door behind you before the manifestation comes. It totally doesn't make sense in the natural. After doing it, you will feel like you are stuck. The door has closed behind you but the door ahead is not open yet. Transition is also likened to a time just before a woman gives birth. It is usually a very intense period when you feel vulnerable, overwhelmed, restless, frustrated, disoriented, discouraged and reaching the end of your rope. It's when the opposition is the fiercest and you feel like giving up the most. Because you have traveled a long way and waited a long time, you feel like you really don't have the strength to press on. Yet this is the time you really need to press on, wait for God to grant you the second wind and give a final push to deliver the baby. Don't focus on the pain, the discomfort. Focus on the hope of the baby coming forth. Set your face like flint for the joy set before you. Verses like Phil 3:13-14 usually appear to encourage you to press forward.
4) During transition, The Lord will also show you what are the things you need to let go of, namely all the excess baggage because you cannot bring these over to your new season. Weights of the past, friends of the last season, past disappointments, past heartaches, old mindsets, even what had worked out well in the past. God redefines and adjusts whatever rules are necessary for us to get to the new place. It's a time when He 'deconstructs' whatever past achievements and strips off anything you can hold on to for security. You cannot return to the comfort of the past, yet you don't know what lies ahead. The only stability and security is His immovable nature. Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and forever. It's a time you need to focus on Him alone, carefully listen to what He is saying to us. You can reflect on His faithfulness, on how He has brought you through such times of transition and hold fast to that. As He has done before, He will make sure you cross over to the other side.
5) At the same time, He will show you that a season has passed, a chapter of your life has ended. God will bring you through a short journey of reflection on the past season and tell you that you have finished well and show you how much you have grown. He knows you have little faith but you have kept His word and not denied His name. You will also have the feeling that you have fought the good fight of faith, you have finished the race and kept the faith. Then He promises you the rewards, the crown that come with passing of that test, the completion of that assignment. You will have the abiding peace that you have done the will of God and He will surely do His part. He affirms that season is over with Phil 1:6 'He who started a good work in you will bring it to completion.' God will also prepare you for the new season ahead with verses connoting divine shifts (Isa 48:6, Isa 43:19). You will sense a new beginning on the horizon.
6) The other thing I noticed before the manifestation came was that God reminded me to remember Him, that He is the One who multiplies our numbers and gives us power to gain wealth as in Deut 8:18. Just before I conceived Joshua, God impressed upon me to build memorial stones, as a testament of His goodness to our future generations. Eventually these memorial stones were translated into my book 'Beauty out of Ashes'.
7) Suddenly, you will realize that things are starting to fall into place, exactly how God has predicted or said. And you will be amazed at the speed of how God moves. This is usually a time of revelation when you will see His beautiful plans unfold. During such times, your faith will be greatly boosted and you will start to feel the joy coming. It's like the second wind that gives you the strength for the final push to deliver the baby. From my experience, transition period lasts only a few months. It starts when God gives you instructions for the next season or when He tells you to get ready to move on. The move could be seen in a change of physical location. It could be a change in vocation...it could be dramatic or imperceptible. Sure enough, one day we will find that the shifting had occurred and we have moved solidly into the new season.
8) Nearing the end of the transition, you will find that certain issues that used to bother you so much did not affect you now. This is because the bondages and strongholds are already destroyed and the Lord has caused you to overcome where you could not in the past. There is a certain freedom when you realized that you have truly overcome such issues, no longer bound by the taunts and tortures of the mind. By now you will have also gained a new perspective to how you view certain issues. That's when the renewing of your mind is complete and old ways of thinking are gone. You will find it silly when you think about how you have allowed such issues to keep you bondage in the past, causing endless heartaches. The Lord will also open your eyes to see how blessed you have been all along and you will break forth in praise and thanksgiving. What a great deliverance! And the end result is you are more hardened to difficulties than before.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Finishing well
Recently I felt like reading the book on 'Finishing Well' by David Wong again. I have read this book several times but I still felt that the message offered me new perspective every time I read it. We are so prone to forget what we have learnt in the past and the Holy Spirit is the One who brings to remembrance. God reminded me with Isaiah 48:6 'You have heard; see all this. And will you not declare it? I have made you hear new things from this time; even hidden things, and you did not know them.'
Then as I read my journals from July 2011, I saw that God was leading me through a review of the past three years in my old company. It was like looking back before God moved me on to the next stage. I knew He was doing a new thing and He also assured me that I have closed the previous chapter of my life well. What I didn't know was that new thing is not about having another baby but about my care group (CG) ministry work, which He has embarked me on. As I read those, I really felt like deja vu. The messages He told me then was exactly what He has been telling me for the past few months. I knew the importance of closing each chapter of my life well because of the impact it would have on the next chapter.
I know too well that many started well but few finish well. I want to be amongst those who finish well. It's not hard to start something but it's difficult to finish well. It takes patience and endurance to finish well. Patience is better than pride. The end of a matter is better than its beginning. Closure is as much a part of life as change. Whenever change takes place, there is usually some form of closure. Each change brings with it a new beginning but each beginning is preceded by an ending. That's why when God comes to me with a message that He is doing new things (like verses connoting divine shifts), I am excited. I know that He has also come to complete the good work that He started in me. How we end one chapter is important as how we begin the next.
What is the definition of finishing well? Towards God, it means faithfulness to our calling. Our focus is how we live in order to finish the race and complete the assignment God has for us. As much as I wanted to move on to my childbearing season in those years, I put His will above mine. I don't know and I don't want to speculate when my appointed time will be. All I know was that I have to shepherd my sheep and care for the sheep entrusted to me well. I just did what I knew to do and leave the childbearing issue to the Lord.
Secondly towards ourselves, it means a clear conscience. To know that we have discharged our responsibilities with integrity so that we have no cause to feel guilty at unfulfilled obligations and unkept promises. I remember telling the Lord not to put them through the pain of feeling abandoned like they did when our previous CG leader had to step down suddenly. And the Lord did it. I held on to the mantle until another person was ready to step up. I wanted to finish well so that they would give me their blessings when I move on.
Finally, finishing well involves relationships. Towards others, it means the value we place on people and the difference we make to their lives. What we have accomplished in this world will be measured by the lives of people we have touched. I want to be known as a leader who has been faithful to the end. You know, when I saw that the CG is functioning well without me, when the legacy of God's love and care is passed down to them, my heart is so relieved. And that was when I knew that should God move me on from this CG, all will be well with my sheep for He deeply cares for them.
Then as I read my journals from July 2011, I saw that God was leading me through a review of the past three years in my old company. It was like looking back before God moved me on to the next stage. I knew He was doing a new thing and He also assured me that I have closed the previous chapter of my life well. What I didn't know was that new thing is not about having another baby but about my care group (CG) ministry work, which He has embarked me on. As I read those, I really felt like deja vu. The messages He told me then was exactly what He has been telling me for the past few months. I knew the importance of closing each chapter of my life well because of the impact it would have on the next chapter.
I know too well that many started well but few finish well. I want to be amongst those who finish well. It's not hard to start something but it's difficult to finish well. It takes patience and endurance to finish well. Patience is better than pride. The end of a matter is better than its beginning. Closure is as much a part of life as change. Whenever change takes place, there is usually some form of closure. Each change brings with it a new beginning but each beginning is preceded by an ending. That's why when God comes to me with a message that He is doing new things (like verses connoting divine shifts), I am excited. I know that He has also come to complete the good work that He started in me. How we end one chapter is important as how we begin the next.
What is the definition of finishing well? Towards God, it means faithfulness to our calling. Our focus is how we live in order to finish the race and complete the assignment God has for us. As much as I wanted to move on to my childbearing season in those years, I put His will above mine. I don't know and I don't want to speculate when my appointed time will be. All I know was that I have to shepherd my sheep and care for the sheep entrusted to me well. I just did what I knew to do and leave the childbearing issue to the Lord.
Secondly towards ourselves, it means a clear conscience. To know that we have discharged our responsibilities with integrity so that we have no cause to feel guilty at unfulfilled obligations and unkept promises. I remember telling the Lord not to put them through the pain of feeling abandoned like they did when our previous CG leader had to step down suddenly. And the Lord did it. I held on to the mantle until another person was ready to step up. I wanted to finish well so that they would give me their blessings when I move on.
Finally, finishing well involves relationships. Towards others, it means the value we place on people and the difference we make to their lives. What we have accomplished in this world will be measured by the lives of people we have touched. I want to be known as a leader who has been faithful to the end. You know, when I saw that the CG is functioning well without me, when the legacy of God's love and care is passed down to them, my heart is so relieved. And that was when I knew that should God move me on from this CG, all will be well with my sheep for He deeply cares for them.
Praise God for the open door!
On 1st May, I received an email from a sister in New Creation Church (NCC) whom I didn't know. She wrote to tell me that she saw my book while browsing through the Biography session at Tecman, a popular Christian bookstore in Singapore. She was surprised that the author was actually someone from NCC. She bought the book, read it and found it to be a blessing to her. Hence she wrote to tell me all that. I was pleasantly surprised by this piece of good news. My book was published in mid 2012 and ever since the initial excitement, I have not been actively marketing it.
It was amazing because I didn't even know my book was carried by Tecman until I saw the email from her. There was a time I used to frequent this bookstore to buy Christian books but somehow I have not visited Tecman for a long while. I remember calling them to ask if they could carry my book in Sep 2012 and they replied they only retail books straight from distributors. It was a closed door then but I was not discouraged. After all, I tried. And so all this while I thought my book was sold only in USA and through on-line bookstores like Amazon. Unbeknownst to me, the Lord has been working behind the scenes to open the door for my book to reach Singapore shores! I really can't believe it. A door that was previously shut to me is now opened by The Lord. Wow! I felt so loved.
Last Sat, we went to Tecman to check out my book. It was displayed in quite a prominent place in the bookshelf under 'Biography'. I don't know how to describe the feeling but I was just dumbstruck when I saw my book sold there along with other books. I really couldn't believe my eyes. It's like is it really my book??? I have never dreamt that one day I would actually publish a book, let alone for my books be sold in Tecman! I am a lover of Christian books and I used to frequent Tecman to check out the books by different authors. But on that day, I was there checking out my own book! It was really a wildest dream come true!
Seeing my book on the shelves made my heart beam with joy and pride. Yet I know it has never been me in the first place. God was the One who put the desire in me to write a book, inspired me to actually write it and He also opened the doors for publishers. Now He even opened the doors for my book to reach Singapore shores! The sister from NCC told me that my book was a new addition. I was meditating on the fact that when God opens a door, no one can shut it. It was the power of open doors.
Until today I still feel awed by the fact that God has been working behind the scenes all along. It's like I didn't even have to labour or toil or force open the door. Everything was effortless because I didn't even know about it in the first place! So how could I even sweat about it? I didn't even ask God for this open door. Since the launch of my book in 2012, it has gone all quiet after the initial buzz but I knew God has not forgotten about my book. It was just maybe the season was not right. Now that He has done this wonderful thing for me, I felt like the season to market my book again has come. After all, God made it easy for my local friends and supporters to purchase my book from Tecman, instead of having to order it on-line. Praise God for open doors!
It was amazing because I didn't even know my book was carried by Tecman until I saw the email from her. There was a time I used to frequent this bookstore to buy Christian books but somehow I have not visited Tecman for a long while. I remember calling them to ask if they could carry my book in Sep 2012 and they replied they only retail books straight from distributors. It was a closed door then but I was not discouraged. After all, I tried. And so all this while I thought my book was sold only in USA and through on-line bookstores like Amazon. Unbeknownst to me, the Lord has been working behind the scenes to open the door for my book to reach Singapore shores! I really can't believe it. A door that was previously shut to me is now opened by The Lord. Wow! I felt so loved.
Last Sat, we went to Tecman to check out my book. It was displayed in quite a prominent place in the bookshelf under 'Biography'. I don't know how to describe the feeling but I was just dumbstruck when I saw my book sold there along with other books. I really couldn't believe my eyes. It's like is it really my book??? I have never dreamt that one day I would actually publish a book, let alone for my books be sold in Tecman! I am a lover of Christian books and I used to frequent Tecman to check out the books by different authors. But on that day, I was there checking out my own book! It was really a wildest dream come true!
Seeing my book on the shelves made my heart beam with joy and pride. Yet I know it has never been me in the first place. God was the One who put the desire in me to write a book, inspired me to actually write it and He also opened the doors for publishers. Now He even opened the doors for my book to reach Singapore shores! The sister from NCC told me that my book was a new addition. I was meditating on the fact that when God opens a door, no one can shut it. It was the power of open doors.
Until today I still feel awed by the fact that God has been working behind the scenes all along. It's like I didn't even have to labour or toil or force open the door. Everything was effortless because I didn't even know about it in the first place! So how could I even sweat about it? I didn't even ask God for this open door. Since the launch of my book in 2012, it has gone all quiet after the initial buzz but I knew God has not forgotten about my book. It was just maybe the season was not right. Now that He has done this wonderful thing for me, I felt like the season to market my book again has come. After all, God made it easy for my local friends and supporters to purchase my book from Tecman, instead of having to order it on-line. Praise God for open doors!
Friday, March 28, 2014
An eventful three months
I realize that I haven't been blogging for more than three months. My friend asked why I have not been blogging for a while. I told her that I have been grappling with certain issues early this year. From the start of Jan, our family was hit by a viral attack. First it was Joshua who got sick and it took him more than a week to recover. Then it was Heng who fell sick but thank God Heng recovered very fast. Lastly it was me and it also took me a while to recover. It was the first time that all three of us fell sick one after another. It came so suddenly and we were caught off guard. But thank God that He has delivered us from those viral attacks.
In the second half of Jan, one of my care group hosts developed a complication after an operation. It was not exactly a major operation but somehow there was a blood infection in which she had to be re-admitted and operated again. In the next two weeks, she went through three consecutive operations. The entire care group was still praying and believing for her healing, no matter how impossible it seemed in the natural. But it came to a point where she fought a good fight of faith and went home to be with The Lord on 31 Jan. It was a difficult period for our care group and her husband but God comforted us with the comfort of Christ. We found comfort when we knew she was in a much better place, with a brand new body. She is with Jesus now and she must be rejoicing in heaven as she looks at us. Even though it is God's will to heal, it could be her will that she wanted Jesus to take her home. God would not supersede her will because He gave us free choice.
After her passing, some of us were still a bit shaken because it was so sudden and she did not even have time to say goodbye to us. I think we all missed her dearly because she was like the mother of our care group. She will always be in our loving memory because of her love for Jesus and her love for us. But because of the sudden nature of her passing, fear came into some of members' mind. They were wondering what happened to our prayers. Does God still heal? If so, why didn't it manifest in her life? Because of such doubts, it manifested in members' lives through hospitalization, lying symptoms of sicknesses etc.
Thank God that He addressed our doubts when Pastor Prince said that God will not force His healing on anyone if they don't want healing. And we should come into agreement with His word if we want healing for our life. Yet for their whose healing didn't manifest on this side of heaven, a believer will not lose out because he will be with Jesus in heaven and a brand new body. That's perfect healing. After these doubts and fears were addressed, there were no more such lying symptoms or threats of poor health on care members. It is so true that right believing leads to right living.
I was quite exhausted by all these events that happened to our family and my sheep that it took me a while to rest and sit at the feet of Jesus, so that I can be refreshed. Thank God that He gave me the rest and refreshing as I took time to feed from Jesus and pray in tongues. It didn't take me too long to realize that these are attacks on our lives. I don't want to be caught unawares and always fighting fires. Once I put out the fire here, the enemy started the fire in another area. I told The Lord I want to be prepared and alerted of things to come.
One of the ways to regain my footing in the midst of chaos was to pray in tongues. Praying in tongues not only helps to build up my wearied body by giving me rest, it is also a defensive weapon. Coupled with the word of God, praying in tongues is really effective in recognizing and thwarting the enemy's plans. In times of challenges, I was prompted to put up the word of God everywhere in my home so that I could meditate and declare God's word. I found that the other way out of these challenges was to praise God and to worship Him. As we worship Jesus, we turn our eyes away from the problems and God begins to turn our situation around.
In all things God works for the good of those who loves Him. Through these incidents, I thank God that I gain a far greater revelation of Jesus and precious lessons about the spiritual things of God and the will of man. Things that are unseen are permanent whereas things that are seen are only temporary. Spiritual things are powerful because the physical world mirrors the spiritual. We have to declare the word of God over our lives because God calls things that are not in existence as if they do (Romans 4:17) and we are made in the image of God. I also learnt that life and death lies in the power of our tongues and we really have to learn to be careful about what we say. Speak what you want to see, not what you see. Dear friends, I hope you have been blessed by my sharing on the precious lessons I learnt during this time.
In the second half of Jan, one of my care group hosts developed a complication after an operation. It was not exactly a major operation but somehow there was a blood infection in which she had to be re-admitted and operated again. In the next two weeks, she went through three consecutive operations. The entire care group was still praying and believing for her healing, no matter how impossible it seemed in the natural. But it came to a point where she fought a good fight of faith and went home to be with The Lord on 31 Jan. It was a difficult period for our care group and her husband but God comforted us with the comfort of Christ. We found comfort when we knew she was in a much better place, with a brand new body. She is with Jesus now and she must be rejoicing in heaven as she looks at us. Even though it is God's will to heal, it could be her will that she wanted Jesus to take her home. God would not supersede her will because He gave us free choice.
After her passing, some of us were still a bit shaken because it was so sudden and she did not even have time to say goodbye to us. I think we all missed her dearly because she was like the mother of our care group. She will always be in our loving memory because of her love for Jesus and her love for us. But because of the sudden nature of her passing, fear came into some of members' mind. They were wondering what happened to our prayers. Does God still heal? If so, why didn't it manifest in her life? Because of such doubts, it manifested in members' lives through hospitalization, lying symptoms of sicknesses etc.
Thank God that He addressed our doubts when Pastor Prince said that God will not force His healing on anyone if they don't want healing. And we should come into agreement with His word if we want healing for our life. Yet for their whose healing didn't manifest on this side of heaven, a believer will not lose out because he will be with Jesus in heaven and a brand new body. That's perfect healing. After these doubts and fears were addressed, there were no more such lying symptoms or threats of poor health on care members. It is so true that right believing leads to right living.
I was quite exhausted by all these events that happened to our family and my sheep that it took me a while to rest and sit at the feet of Jesus, so that I can be refreshed. Thank God that He gave me the rest and refreshing as I took time to feed from Jesus and pray in tongues. It didn't take me too long to realize that these are attacks on our lives. I don't want to be caught unawares and always fighting fires. Once I put out the fire here, the enemy started the fire in another area. I told The Lord I want to be prepared and alerted of things to come.
One of the ways to regain my footing in the midst of chaos was to pray in tongues. Praying in tongues not only helps to build up my wearied body by giving me rest, it is also a defensive weapon. Coupled with the word of God, praying in tongues is really effective in recognizing and thwarting the enemy's plans. In times of challenges, I was prompted to put up the word of God everywhere in my home so that I could meditate and declare God's word. I found that the other way out of these challenges was to praise God and to worship Him. As we worship Jesus, we turn our eyes away from the problems and God begins to turn our situation around.
In all things God works for the good of those who loves Him. Through these incidents, I thank God that I gain a far greater revelation of Jesus and precious lessons about the spiritual things of God and the will of man. Things that are unseen are permanent whereas things that are seen are only temporary. Spiritual things are powerful because the physical world mirrors the spiritual. We have to declare the word of God over our lives because God calls things that are not in existence as if they do (Romans 4:17) and we are made in the image of God. I also learnt that life and death lies in the power of our tongues and we really have to learn to be careful about what we say. Speak what you want to see, not what you see. Dear friends, I hope you have been blessed by my sharing on the precious lessons I learnt during this time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)