RESTORATION OF RELATIONSHIP

'I will restore to you the years the locusts have eaten.' Joel 2:25

I observed recently that the Lord has done this marvellous thing for me. It is the restoration of my relationship with my mum. In the past I was never close to her. I used to feel sad and wondered why I couldn't talk to her like the way I talked to my aunts. I enjoyed my aunts' company much more than her and I always felt my aunts understand me better than my own mum. Sometimes I would feel really sad when I think about how my own mum, the one who gave birth to me, didn't understand my heart. I would cry bitterly over this. 

As such I wondered how I could be the loving mum if I have a daughter in future because I never enjoyed such close relationship with my mum. All through childhood, I couldn't recall a time when my mum lovingly took care of me when I was sick or spoke loving words to encourage me. I never even heard her say she loved me once. Now I understood it was because of her harsh upbringing that she didn't know how to show love. But I knew she loved me deep down in her heart. And she felt estranged from me because I was taken care of by my grandma and aunts since young.

I thank God that He has restored the broken relationship with my mum. After a season of 'separation' from my parents, I recently discovered that my mum did not take me for granted or speak harsh words to me unlike before. In fact she is quite a changed person now. She has been a believer for a long while but her mouth was not really 'saved'. In other words, she still spoke like how the world spoke. Negative words, hurtful words etc. 

Yet deep down I know she loved us and she just couldn't help the way she spoke. After all that was how she was like over the decades. It really took God's renewing of mind to change her speech, to become more grace-based. Actually it wasn't just her who needed a renewing of the mind. I needed that too. In the past, I used to be very rude and impatient when talking to my parents too. I would be snappy with them though I could be very sweet and nice to everyone else. Like many insensible young adults, I took my parents for granted. 

God also did a mind transformation in me for the past few years in this area, after I came to NCC. The grace of God was so contagious it even influenced my behaviour in this area. I guess being a mum also helped because I understood my parents' hearts more. I saw why they nagged at me and scolded me. It was for my own good but I also learnt that their idea of 'good' for me might not be God's best. So I needed to find out what was God's will for me and respectfully conveyed my decision to them, hoping they would come to accept it in future. 

Gradually I became more respectful and patient when dealing with them even though they might still be the same. With the grace God showed me, I showed them grace. I had to cut back on curt, unkind words and rely on His grace to replace them with words of love. If those words didn't edify them, then I rather not say it. It was really tough at first because my flesh wouldn't yield. I wanted to retort back with harsh words. Slowly, God changed the way I spoke to them. After all, He showed me that I loved them so much, why treat them in the opposite way? 

Thank God that nowadays I enjoy chatting with my mum as much as with my aunts. She also began to see my heart and better appreciate me. I find that as I stopped striving to seek her approval and rested in the Lord, she began to care for me in ways I never knew before. Now I observe that she really considers my well being and interests instead of just focus on doting on my brothers in the past. This change can only be from the Lord. He has done something I thought impossible in the past. He has given me a brand new start with my mum and I am so grateful to Him. It's truly a great restoration! 

MARRIAGES UNDER SIEGE

'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.' Genesis 2:24

Recently I learnt that two of my cousins just got divorced. One doesn't have kids, the other has a five year-old daughter. The reason for divorce was either infidelity or cannot get along with the other half. This was quite alarming for me as my mum's side had quite a high occurrence of divorces. Out of all the married cousins, so far only one cousin is still married. Another of my cousin just got remarried recently. The rest of my cousins chose to stay single. 

I was just wondering if this was peculiar to my mum's side because so far, for my dad's side, there was no such occurrences. But again that doesn't mean that their marriages are blissful and without woes. Many a times things would look good on the surface until the shocking news of divorce came. I thank God that for some of the couples, the alarm was sounded earlier and God saved their marriages. But these were not the norm. 

My mum was saying that people in her generation were more tolerant and willing to stay together for the sake of their kids. But not this generation. They are not willing to put up with infidelity or marriage woes. When they faced with problems, they will choose to divorce. But my mum said that divorce would have a serious impact on the kids because they will feel insecure and withdraw from the world. I agreed.

It really seems like a prevalent issue nowadays and marriages are under siege. Don't even talk about parenthood in God's way as marriages are not lived according to His design. I really wonder how the next generation would turn out. Moral values are really eroding and so is stickability. Some people are marrying because they feel good and having kids because they feel good. Or this is what they see their peers do so they follow. But when the marriage doesn't serve their interests or make them feel good, they will opt out. Or when their kids don't make them feel good, they will shirk their parenthood responsibility. 

In the short time of a decade, I have heard of so many cases of divorce, whether these were my relatives or friends or neighbours. For those couples who are still staying married, some of them may be facing marriage woes and are not happy at all. Divorces are not common in our parents' generation but sad to say, in our generation, divorces are no longer rare. I think marriages are breaking down because couples do not understand God's design and plan for marriages. Or even if they do, they do not realise the commitment and hard work put into making a marriage work. 

Lastly they do not understand that Christ has to be the foundation of their marriage for only Christ can truly satisfy their needs, not each other. That's why Pastor always said Christ has to be the third person in your marriage, then it would be days of heaven on earth. More than ever before, Christ-centered marriages have become a shining beacon for the watching world. Only the church has the solution to the marriage woes and problems the world needs. 

CELEBRATING MOTHERHOOD

'Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.' Proverbs 31:28-29

This weekend our church will be celebrating Mother's Day. It is a very special day even to those precious ladies who do not have children of their own but are spiritual mothers. The role of a mother is a very compelling and intense one. Being a mother changes your perspective on life. I know it because I am never passionate about being a mother since young. Because my own mum was a homemaker, I saw how she suffered and put aside her own interests to take care of me and my brothers. Hence I told myself I would never want to follow after her footsteps. 

I had a good education and a good job, so naturally I was ambitious about what I could achieve in my career. I wanted to do something important about my life, something that could fulfil my potential. I used to think it was such a waste to give up your career and stay at home to look after your kids. I even scorned ladies who said their dream was to get married, have kids and stay home to look after them. Well, I never really thought about having kids even after marriage, let alone to stay home for my kids! 

Yet God has an uncanny way to make me change my mind. It was after I waited so long to conceive  my first son that my maternal instincts grew in the waiting. After all, if something you wanted so badly came after a long time of waiting, then maybe this thing would become somewhat more precious, I guess. So after giving birth to Joshua, I took some time to stay home to take care of him. I was so overwhelmed by this miracle of life that I wondered if I should quit my job to stay home. It seemed impossible that such a thought even came to my mind considering the fact that I was so against staying home for your kids in the past. 

Well, no matter how much I used to resist that thought, once the desire was planted by God, He alone will bring it to pass. Which He did. So now, I am already into my fifth year of staying home. When I left my job, I knew staying home was just another season of my life and one day I would be back to the workforce. I thought it would last for three years at most but I didn't imagine it to stretch into the fifth year. But I thank God that He provided for our finances so that I am not hard pressed to go back to the workforce if I didn't want to. 

Yet staying home is not always a bed of roses. There will be days when you wonder what you have given up in the corporate world and days that you wonder if you are wasting your time at home. You look at your kids and wonder whether your staying home helped in their development or not. Sometimes I wonder if I have buried my God-given gifts by staying home, by focusing too much on my child and lose my ministry. I know I have lots of gifts and messages and a ministry to share with women of the world but I chose to focus on my family instead. 

God answered with this simple word: season. There is a season for everything. A season to focus on my ministry and a season to focus on my children. I had a season of ministry for the past three years so now God is moving me to a season of childbearing. All He asked of me is to be faithful to what He called me to do in each season. God is so good. He transitioned me from a busy field ministry into this writing ministry so that I could still write and encourage mothers all around the world. And who said mothering is not a ministry of God? It is an important ministry because you are raising champion kids, movers and shakers of God's Kingdom. You may never know how much you impacted one who will impact millions in future. 

I was reading about the Proverbs 31 woman and this verse jumps up at me. Many daughters have done virtuously, but you excel them all. Wow, how my heart swell with joy to hear The Lord tell me this. That many of His daughters have done valiantly but I have surpassed them all! Praise The Lord for having such a good opinion of me! Actually if a lady can take care of her household and her kids well, it is already a big deal. But this Proverbs 31 lady went further. She makes good investments in property and also has a business of her own, making and selling linen garments. Wow! I really aspire to be like her! What a godly model!  

GOD WANTS YOU HAPPY!

'When you eat the labour of your hands, you shall be happy, and it shall be well with you.' Psalms 128:2

Make no mistake about it. God wants you to be happy. He is concerned about your well-being above all things. Yes, He wants you to become more Christ-like, grow in faith and fulfill your divine destiny. But above all, He wants you to be happy. Know that He is not the source of misery and troubles in your life. Jesus is the source of your joy. In His presence is fullness of joy. You may ask: how about those trials, difficulties, struggles and disappointments I have to go through? Even though God allows such things to come into your life, His plan is to restore double joy for all the troubles you went through.

Yesterday I was faced with this question. If I had to choose between my son being happy and him fulfilling his divine destiny, what will I choose? Without hesitation I chose for him to be happy. As a parent, naturally you will hope that your children live blessed and happy lives. You will do all you can to protect him from heartaches and disappointments even though you know they will face these difficult times at some point in their lives. Yes, you will still learn to let go and entrust your children to the Lord for you cannot protect them for life.

But you see the point here is that even as earthly parents, our desire is to see our children happy, how much more our Heavenly Father! It is a warped view to think that God delights in seeing us suffer during tough times. Yes, some training and stretching may be required on your path to fulfilling your destiny, but God is not masochistic. He is full of mercy. You don't even know how much easier He has made the training to be. And if the training seems to take a little longer to complete, it just means that He is slowing down the pace so you could catch up. He wants you to finish well.

Beloved, always know that His heart for you is good, His plans for you are to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a hope and a future. I encourage you to see His heart of love for you. It is dangerous to gauge His love based on your circumstances. Always see His love from the finished work on the cross. That is an unchangeable truth. Your circumstance may change, but His love will never change. And when you experience the love of God and know that your well-being is important to Him, you will become a victor in life. God wants you to be happy. He is happy when He sees you happy; He is sad when He sees you heartbroken. That's the heart of our Abba Father.

GOD IS WORKING BEHIND THE SCENES

'Then Abraham lifted his eyes and looked, and there behind him was a ram caught in a thicket by its horns.' Genesis 22:13

I read somewhere that the moment Abraham obeyed God by leaving Haran to go to the place God wanted him to go, God has set into motion this provision of a ram for him. This was decades before Sarah even conceived and had Isaac. Maybe the ram was just born then and began growing. It was born for the very purpose of being the sacrifice for Isaac. It reminded me of how Jesus always knew that His sole purpose of coming to earth was to be the sacrifice for mankind's sins.

Anyway that is not my main message. My point was that God was already working behind the scenes in our life long before we even knew it. Sometimes I wonder if we already knew what God was doing on our behalf, would we still fret and doubt Him? Maybe, but if He showed us everything about His plan for our life, that wouldn't build faith in us. God wants us to trust Him and to walk by faith, not by sight.

He wants us to know that even if our eyes cannot see anything happening doesn't mean it isn't happening. Just like Abraham didn't see the ram coming up doesn't mean God hasn't provided the ram. Because it was coming up the other side of the mountain, Abraham didn't see it coming. That's usually how things are in our life. God has gone before us to prepare a way for us but we don't usually see it until He reveals the path for us.

Isaiah 43:19 says 'Behold, I will do a new thing, now it springs forth...' The springing forth of the new things connotes the hidden nature of God's work. It is usually hidden from our sight until the last minute, then it springs forth. God loves to give us surprises. Sometimes He shows us certain things beforehand but sometimes He chooses to keep them from us, so that we will be pleasantly surprised when it happens. It is our Father's good pleasure to give us His kingdom, to see us happy.

If you think about how even before you were conceived in your mother's womb, God already laid out His plan for your life, you will be amazed. He already prepared the childhood you are going to have, the kind of education, the type of job, the choice of a life partner and even how many kids you will have. God has already prepared paths for you to take in your future. The breaks that you need have been preordained to cross your paths.

You may think that now you have deviated so far from the path He has for you but don't worry, He knows where to find you wherever you are. You will not be lost. You will still fulfill the destiny He had planned. All you have to do is to answer when He calls.

YOUR DESIRES ARE FROM GOD

'For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.' Philippians 2:13

Many people think that they shouldn't trust the desires in their heart for the heart is deceitful above all things. Yes, the bible did mention about how the heart is deceitful but that was in the old covenant. In the new covenant, God said in Hebrews 8:10 'I will put My laws in their mind and write them on their hearts; and I will be their God and they shall be My people.' This verse says that God will write His desire and will on our heart, hence we can trust the desires of our heart.

Know that God will never lead you to serve in the Sunday school if you have no desire to work amongst children. It will not do you or the children any good if they have you as the Sunday school teacher. It would not be a joy but a dread for both parties. In the past, I used to think that God would send me any guy and tell me to love him when I surrendered my choice of a life partner to God. I was afraid that He would send me someone I didn't like and force me to accept him. Like how some ladies thought God was asking them to sacrifice themselves to marry the men in church that no one wants.

God's heart is so good. He knows me and my heart's desires. He will not force me to do things I don't like, let alone marry a guy I have no desire for. Later I realised His heart of love for me when He brought this guy into my life whom I really love and want to spend my life with. This guy is Heng, my beloved hubby. And even today, I am still amazed at how much God knows what kind of a companion I need in my life journey. I am so grateful to His choice of the life partner for me.

And so, over the years, I have learnt to recognise that my desires are from the Lord. I will not just brush it off easily, no matter how absurd my desire may be. I have learnt that most times, before God changes my direction or my season, He will always put this desire in my heart first. I will then know if the desire is truly from Him, not my flesh when the desire grows over time. When it refuses to go away, then I will know it is from God. So I will tell God that I will cooperate with Him to bring that desire to pass. I always believe if He puts that desire in me, then He will give me the anointing to do what He wants.

Is there something the Lord has put in your heart? Even though it may be lying dormant for years, the desire doesn't go away. I am encouraging you to fan into flames that dream, that desire that God has put in your heart. Stir up your dream today and tell God that you are willing to work with Him to bring that desire to pass. For it is Him who works in you to will and to do according to His good pleasure.

CHANGE IN THE WAY I RECEIVE MANNA

'Then the manna ceased on the day after they had eaten the produce of the land; and the children of Israel no longer had manna, but they ate the food of the land of Canaan that year.' Joshua 5:12

As early as 2013, the Lord has already been telling me about how the way I receive manna from Him will change because I will be entering my promised land. At that time I was feeding mainly from Christian books, devotionals and sermons. There wasn't anything wrong about it, just that I felt the Lord wanted me to wean off milk and take solid food. He wanted to give me fresh revelations from the bible and not depend in others' revelation, however wonderful it may be. 

But this process of change wasn't easy for I didn't know how to study the bible and gain nuggets of truth. I wanted to obey the Lord but I just couldn't feed well from the bible. I still needed to rely on others' revelation. It took quite a while for this transition to be completed for I wasn't ready. Well, I tried but the bible just wasn't coming alive to me. I even used bible study guides but still it was very dry. 

God told me to let go of the old manna in order to embrace the fruit of the land. Just as the manna ceased on the day after children of Israel had eaten the produce of the promised land. God desired for His past provision to so build faith that they could conquer any giant and never give way to a mindset of bondage again. But His best for us was if we are willing and obedient, we will eat the good of the land. 

Once I had the pillar of cloud and fire to guide me in the wilderness, now that I am in the Promised Land, I got to fix my eyes on a small ark. Once I had manna falling from the sky, now I got to glean my own manna. I never realise that at some point in my walk with God, even the way I feed from Him had to change. I got to wean off milk and start talking solid food. 

In Mar this year, I realised that I have not been gleaning as much from the devotionals. It was like suddenly the messages did not speak to me anymore. There was a time when I was very well fed by these devotionals. It was like God was speaking non-stop to me. Oh how I loved it! Then all of a sudden, it seemed like God has gone all silent. Yet not exactly because He was still speaking to me, albeit in a different manner. He was speaking directly to me as I woke up in the mornings. 

It should not come as a surprise fo the Lord did tell me long ago that after I entered the promised land and ate of its produce, the manna will cease. It then occurred to me that the way I received from the Lord has changed. I could not longer depend on these manna coming to me from others' devotionals. I have to receive my manna directly from God. But how am I going to receive from Him? I do not like to read the bible directly. I prefer to read others' interpretation of the bible. 

But because I was not gleaning enough from the devotionals, I was 'forced' to feed from the bible. Yet it was scary and uncomfortable because I still did not know how. I really had no choice but to stay close to the Lord for guidance on how I receive manna, because I discerned that from Mar onwards, I have entered into a new season. Hence the way I receive manna really has to change because I have entered into my Promised Land. Even so, I was still gleaning from the devotionals but not totally fed. 

Until yesterday. During service, the Lord told me to start reading the bible. I was still wondering how when He gave me the secret to receiving the manna. First He told me to start from Paul's epistles, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians and Colossians. Then He said because I already know many scriptures from these epistles, those could be the landmarks in each chapter. The key was to know a few landmark verses and relate it to the whole chapter. And so, this new journey has begun...

DO NOT DESPISE SMALL BEGINNINGS

Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin (Zechariah 4:10)

People always say the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. In the same way, if the Lord has put a desire in your heart, no matter how insignificant it may seem, just follow His prompting and do it. As you begin taking baby steps, the Lord will show you and guide you along the way. He cannot guide a parked car, so just start your engine and get moving on. As you move along, He will show you the next step.

From my experience, when God put a desire in your heart, it was almost as good as done. When He gave me an idea to write a book in July 2010, I was clueless as to what I should write, not to mention how to get it published! But the Lord told me not to worry, just take one step at a time. So when I started staying home, I still didn't feel the prompting to start writing yet. But what I did in those months was to convert my written journals into soft copy, so that I could extract portions of it to write my book in future.

Then one day, God told me to start writing my book and those chapters of my book just came to my mind. And as I wrote, there was an ease and a supernatural flow. An anointing which enabled to complete the first draft of my manuscript in two months' time. Even I was amazed at the speed. After that I was told to wait for Him to open the door to publishers. I had no idea how the literary world worked as I only knew how to write.

Yet I was led to send my manuscript to two publishers in U.S. Eventually God opened the door for my first book to be published. The entire process took only three months from the point I was offered a publishing contract. Now I totally had no idea, no benchmark about how fast or slow that was. What I know was some writers took years to publish a book. So God must have accelerated my process of publishing a book.

I learnt to trust His leading in the process. Whenever He tells me to do something, even if it is something small, I will get excited. Because I know He will always lead me to something great eventually. I have learnt not to despise the day of small beginnings. Dear friends, how about you? Is there something the Lord has been telling you to do? It could be baking that first cake, making that phone call, writing your first book etc.

You may wonder where it could lead to, how your efforts may not amount to a pile of beans but well, you never know until you tried. And even if that didn't work out, you will have no regrets because you dare to try. Even so, God will always turn all things out for your good, even those things that didn't go your way. So, be bold, take the first step today and watch God perform wonders in your life!

MY 2ND E-BOOK ON SEASONS IS PUBLISHED

Praise the Lord! My second e-book is published! This book is titled 'Flowing In the Spirit In Seasons of Your Life'. I hope to provide readers with a better understanding of why God works in seasons, what to do in each season of life, how to cooperate with God during divine shifts and how to discern your due season. I had other topics in mind to share but the Lord impressed upon me to write about seasons. It must be because He has a word in season to share. And so I was just led by the Spirit to do so. I was even amazed at what I had written after my manuscript is completed. I could feel the anointing of God. All glory to Jesus!

Dear friends, I hope you can support the sales of my book and spread the word around. I strongly desire for my books to be a great blessing to all my readers. You can go to this website to purchase my ebook. http://www.lulu.com/shop/avin-lee-mui-choo/flowing-in-the-spirit-in-seasons-of-your-life/ebook/product-22130140.html You can click on the preview to view a chapter of my book.

DON'T COMPARE!

For we dare not compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. (2 Corinthians 10:12)

God has made you to be who you are and to run your own race. You don't need to look at the strengths of others and instead of appreciating them, put down yourself. Cheer on others and celebrate them but you also need to celebrate yourself. You are approved by God. Be confident in who God made you to be. There can only be one you and only you can fulfill the destiny that He has given you. Only you can be the best you. 

All these years, I have been reading messages about running your own race and about not comparing yourself with others. God will never hold me to the standards of another—their walk, ministry, status, family, or any other aspect of their life. Each is individual and unique, requiring individualized instruction and blueprints. You are qualified in Christ. You get ahead of Him when you neglect His presence and neglect His Word or try and run another person’s race. All we have to do is relax and hear His voice. 

Actually as I grow in the Lord, I am seeing what true blessedness is. It is not just about answered prayers, however wonderful they are. It is not just about God's blessings in our life though we thank God for them. It is not about what good things life brings or when things go according to our way, our plan. True blessedness is about being able to turn away from self preoccupation and being Christ conscious. It is being able to run your own race, be free from others' opinions and expectations and not compare with others. Oh what a liberated life that is! Free from pain of self-consciousness and free from man's opinions. Free from jealousy and bitterness from comparing with others.

EVIDENCES OF RESTORATION

The Lord has been reminding me that this is still the year of His restoration as Pastor Prince has declared in the beginning of the year. Last month, God has been saying through the devotionals I read that He is increasing the restoration of all things in my life. Things long forgotten, things hidden are coming into the light of restoration. He not only restores my soul but also all the years the locusts have eaten are restored in Him. It all begins when His people shouts 'Lord, restore!'

Sometimes we may not even know that restoration has come to us if not for the Lord pointing it out, especially for things long forgotten. But God never forgets what we prayed for. In last December, we encouraged Joshua to make a decision to delete the Mine Craft game from his daddy's phone. I have been praying for this for a long while because he was getting addicted to the game and I found that his taste for other things like study or other types of play diminished. Besides, I read about this game and I didn't really like the concepts of zombies, explosives, underworld and Ender dragon. 

The Lord opened the way for me to speak to Joshua and persuade him to drop the game. I told him that God will surely restore and give him something much better in return. He asked me what that was and I said I didn't know then but we just got to trust that God would show him in time to come. After all, God always gives us the best. With that, he agreed to delete that game. 

We know he was holding back his tears when he did that because his daddy said he already built so many things in Mine Craft. His daddy was so proud of him because he could give all that up at a young age. Many kids of his age wouldn't be able to do that. He has learnt an object lesson of letting go of something so that he can receive God's best. 

Well, the months passed and he didn't really quite miss that game, thank God! I kind of forgot about God's restoration until we bought a piano for Joshua. He has been taking piano lessons for more than 2.5 years but we haven't bought a piano. We wanted to be sure of his interest in music before we made that kind of investment. Before this, he has been practising on the electric organ. But last month, we kind of felt that the time was ripe to buy a piano for him. He also agreed. So when the piano finally arrived at our home, he loved it and has been playing on it everyday. He really loved music. 

The Lord reminded me that this piano is a restoration of the game Joshua gave up last year and I told him that. I felt like God is so good, He really keeps His promise though we may have forgotten it. God fills that void left by the game with some hobby that is more meaningful for Joshua. More importantly, Joshua has learnt a precious lesson about letting go and receiving God's best for his life. He has seen how God will never shortchange him. 

The other evidence of restoration was in the area of my foregone performance bonus. In Jan 2011, when I left my old workplace, I had foregone a performance bonus due in April. My boss was telling me to stay until then since I didn't have the urgency to leave, not that I had found another job. But I felt the urgency to leave and after praying, I decided to forego that bonus. I told God to restore to me the foregone bonus and benefits. I trust He is more than able to do so. 

Four years came and went. I completely forgot about this since we were never in lack after I stayed home for God has blessed us financially. In end March, Heng received news of a bonus share payout. It came as a surprise because the shares were issued in May 2012 and would be maturing in May 2015. He didn't expect to receive it because he wasn't even in the company back then! He only joined in June 2013. God is so good. Blessings really came in ways we didn't even expect. 

More importantly, God reminded me that this was the restoration for my foregone performance bonus because it was the amount I was praying for back in 2011. I only realised it when I found the estimated value of shares to be familiar, like a figure I used to pray for. God is really bringing me to remembrance things I have long forgotten and I believe more is to come! Praise the Lord for His restoration! All glory to Jesus! 

BATTLEFIELD OF THE MIND

I was reading Joyce Meyer's book on 'Battlefield of the mind' and I found so many truths in it. I found many answers to the struggles I had and the experiences I went through the past few years. Some of the attacks were due to spiritual resistance but some were due to a wrong believing I had. Slowly, bit by bit, the Holy Spirit showed me where the areas of my mind that needed renewing. And I had to learn to cooperate with God and yield to His thoughts rather than my flesh. 

It was a process of dying to my fleshly nature and submitting to the Spirit. It was painful and many times I didn't want to do that. I wanted to indulge my flesh. I wanted to revert to my old ways of thinking and doing. I didn't want to rein in my tongue. My flesh wanted me to say anything I desired. Even negative things. I wanted to join in the complaining of the people around me. I wanted to talk about nonsense things. I loved to compare and I wanted to judge things, judge people.

I wanted to watch whatever I wished. Given a choice I don't want to guard my ear and eye gates. I wanted to talk about my heartaches and disappointments. I wanted to share all my struggles. I wanted people to know how tough it was to wait so long for a promise. I didn't want to rein in my thoughts too. I wanted to think whatever comes to my mind whether good or bad. When disappointed, I felt indignant and wanted to wallow in self pity. I wanted to give up.

Now I see clearly that it's all about me, nothing about God. But thank God I had been trained by His word to think in a certain way, so I couldn't lapse into thinking whatever came to my mind. Whenever negative thoughts or thoughts contrary to the word of God tried to hijack my mind, it would put up a strong fight, like a defence mechanism. Sometimes I would fail and lapse into negative thinking but God usually wouldn't allow me to stay there too long. Perhaps a day or two then I would have resolved the issue with God and come back to the place of peace. 

The mind could be a fantastic aid to the spirit but more often than not, it works against the spirit. It's in enmity to the word of God. That's why it was important not to give in to the mind. I have testified and seen how people's minds worked against them in the area of healing. They have received a word from God about healing but their carnal minds couldn't make sense of how it would happen. Many a times that opposing mind either hinders the healing manifestation or slows the manifestation. 

At the end of the day I realised it wasn't just the promise of God's blessings that the devil was trying to steal. He was after my mind. He wanted to have my mind. He wasn't interested in those blessings God has in store for me. He didn't care whether I possess those blessings or not, especially if such blessings could draw me away from God. He just didn't want me to hear from God, to fill my thoughts with God's word and to act on what God told me. He didn't want me to enjoy my life, to be joyful and be spirit led.

Although inheriting our possessions is important to God, it couldn't be achieved without a transformed mind, the mind of Christ. And the enemy could let you have those blessings without putting a fight if he could have access to your mind. Because once he had your mind, those possessions would eventually belong to him. You will lose whatever ground you have gained, whatever possessions you have obtained. 

I also realised that though these blessings are important to me, they might not be the greatest treasure I could ever have. Like God told me, the most precious treasure is the building of my faith, my spiritual growth, a transformed mind. All these are so subtle and one could easily be distracted by the enemy. One could be so focused on his blessings that he missed the One who blesses. He could be so focused on the destination that he forgot about the journey, the process. Yet it was not the destination that really mattered to God, it was the process of building up our character. Above all, God wants our hearts and minds. 

Because things like change in thinking, building of faith and character are not visible to the human eye unlike blessings, they could be overlooked. Yet the greatest work of God isn't in areas the human eyes can see, it's often in the hidden crucible of our hearts. 

E-BOOK ON HEALING AND DELIVERANCE

Previously I posted my free book on 'Flowing In The Spirit In Healing And Deliverance' on this blog. The objective was really to offer this book free of charge to my readers so that more people could benefit. Thank God that I received good feedback on my book from friends who then asked if they could share this book with others. It was today that a sister pointed out to me about copyright issues and about reproducing parts or whole of my book.

It was after seeking the Lord that I decided to convert this book into an e-book to be sold on the lulu.com website for a nominal price of USD1.99. It was with a view that I would be publishing other topical books in future that I decided to go the e-book publishing route. In this way, my books would be protected with the proper copyright laws. Another advantage would be the increased coverage and distribution of my books so that more readers could be blessed.

For readers who have already printed out my book before this day, I have no issues with it. But from today onwards, I would not be offering the free download of my pdf file. I hope you can  continue to spread the word to your friends, in support of my e-book. I really welcome any comments or share any common experiences you have after reading my book. You can write your comments via this blog post or email me at avinlee77@gmail.com. I would like to thank you all in advance for your continuing support and all glory to Jesus!

You can buy my e-book at http://www.lulu.com/shop/avin-lee-mui-choo/flowing-in-the-spirit-in-healing-and-deliverance/ebook/product-22111858.html