RESTORATION OF RELATIONSHIP

'I will restore to you the years the locusts have eaten.' Joel 2:25

I observed recently that the Lord has done this marvellous thing for me. It is the restoration of my relationship with my mum. In the past I was never close to her. I used to feel sad and wondered why I couldn't talk to her like the way I talked to my aunts. I enjoyed my aunts' company much more than her and I always felt my aunts understand me better than my own mum. Sometimes I would feel really sad when I think about how my own mum, the one who gave birth to me, didn't understand my heart. I would cry bitterly over this. 

As such I wondered how I could be the loving mum if I have a daughter in future because I never enjoyed such close relationship with my mum. All through childhood, I couldn't recall a time when my mum lovingly took care of me when I was sick or spoke loving words to encourage me. I never even heard her say she loved me once. Now I understood it was because of her harsh upbringing that she didn't know how to show love. But I knew she loved me deep down in her heart. And she felt estranged from me because I was taken care of by my grandma and aunts since young.

I thank God that He has restored the broken relationship with my mum. After a season of 'separation' from my parents, I recently discovered that my mum did not take me for granted or speak harsh words to me unlike before. In fact she is quite a changed person now. She has been a believer for a long while but her mouth was not really 'saved'. In other words, she still spoke like how the world spoke. Negative words, hurtful words etc. 

Yet deep down I know she loved us and she just couldn't help the way she spoke. After all that was how she was like over the decades. It really took God's renewing of mind to change her speech, to become more grace-based. Actually it wasn't just her who needed a renewing of the mind. I needed that too. In the past, I used to be very rude and impatient when talking to my parents too. I would be snappy with them though I could be very sweet and nice to everyone else. Like many insensible young adults, I took my parents for granted. 

God also did a mind transformation in me for the past few years in this area, after I came to NCC. The grace of God was so contagious it even influenced my behaviour in this area. I guess being a mum also helped because I understood my parents' hearts more. I saw why they nagged at me and scolded me. It was for my own good but I also learnt that their idea of 'good' for me might not be God's best. So I needed to find out what was God's will for me and respectfully conveyed my decision to them, hoping they would come to accept it in future. 

Gradually I became more respectful and patient when dealing with them even though they might still be the same. With the grace God showed me, I showed them grace. I had to cut back on curt, unkind words and rely on His grace to replace them with words of love. If those words didn't edify them, then I rather not say it. It was really tough at first because my flesh wouldn't yield. I wanted to retort back with harsh words. Slowly, God changed the way I spoke to them. After all, He showed me that I loved them so much, why treat them in the opposite way? 

Thank God that nowadays I enjoy chatting with my mum as much as with my aunts. She also began to see my heart and better appreciate me. I find that as I stopped striving to seek her approval and rested in the Lord, she began to care for me in ways I never knew before. Now I observe that she really considers my well being and interests instead of just focus on doting on my brothers in the past. This change can only be from the Lord. He has done something I thought impossible in the past. He has given me a brand new start with my mum and I am so grateful to Him. It's truly a great restoration!