My sister-in-law gave Joshua a caterpillar which has turned into a cocoon. Joshua was very excited to see how the caterpillar transform into a butterfly. But all was very quiet in the cocoon. It seemed to look like it was dead because there was hardly any movement. Yet inside the cocoon, things were far from dead. In fact, things were very much alive and happening. It was just hidden from the human eye.
We are watching and waiting for the butterfly to emerge from the cocoon. We don't know when that will happen; we just know it will happen. Meanwhile we just go about our daily business as usual. Sometimes we even forgot that cocoon was sitting there in our living room. But as we wait, we are sure that one day a beautiful butterfly will emerge out of that lifeless cocoon.
This is such a visual lesson of what I have been reading from Journals of the Heart some time ago about our metamorphosis, our transformation into beautiful butterflies. This process is perhaps likened to the transition stage between seasons. There was a time when I felt like nothing was happening on the surface. People were also asking me why I have been so quiet; not much activity. That was after I stepped down from ministry work.
There were a few months when there seemed to be no output, no fruits in my life at all. But those were not inactive months. Those were months when my soul was being restored back to rest and I was feeding on the word of God just like how the caterpillar fed itself with leaves before the cocoon stage. I needed to be fed well before I could hibernate in my cocoon. The things that God was doing in my life was pretty much hidden from the world's view yet nevertheless many things were happening behind the scene.
From March onwards, there were signs of some activity, evidences of some fruits when I wrote the two topical sharing books. After that I also became more prolific in my blog sharing the daily devotionals. It was something I never thought I could do as I always felt I needed a lot of time to come up with an article. Nowadays it is almost effortless. I realised that God will put a verse in my heart for the daily sharing. I just need to tune in to His voice.
During this time, I was also being pampered by God's surprises. I received a bouquet of flowers for my wedding anniversary and another bouquet for Mother's Day. When Heng bought the new handphone for me, it was also a surprise. This was also a longing fulfilled since I had that desire more than two months ago. Not forgetting the surprise bonus share payout for Heng, which was a restoration of my foregone bonus benefits in 2010. New things were also springing up since March.
Even so, there were times I still felt stuck when the reality was that things were no longer in inertia. Everything is in transition, whether I see it or not. Life moves forward, not backward. But my mind sometimes want to get stuck in a moment in time. Sometimes it wants to stay nostalgic and just rethink of the past. Sometimes it wants to avoid the future. If I took a long range view of my life, then these temporary inactivity would be just blurbs in my life. Very soon I will emerge from my cocoon as a beautiful butterfly, looking like Jesus when He is revealed in my life.
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