Saturday, September 12, 2015

TESTIMONY OF MY PREVIOUS PREGNANCY

In the message 'Full circle, Higher Level', Apostle Dutch Sheets talked about what the word testimony means in Hebrew. It comes from a root word 'do it'. It is interesting because we understand that when we testify to something, it has to do with us speaking, not doing. Yet to the Jews, when they tell the marvellous works of the Lord to their children, it is like putting God to remembrance of His promise. And when God remembers, He will do something about it. Hence this word testimony has to do with God doing it again. The Jews believe that when you share your testimony of His marvellous works for you in the past, that very same anointing or power will be available to effect that miracle again.

Hence I felt impressed to share about my previous pregnancy testimony. I have shared this in my first book 'Beauty out of Ashes' but I don't think I have mentioned it in my blog before. In 2002 we had been trying for a baby after this desire was finally born in my heart. Previously I was quite averse to the idea of motherhood. I just felt I wasn't prepared to be a mother even after marriage. God is good. He is so patient with me. He waited till I had that desire. But after this desire came, what I found out was that it wasn't nearly that easy to conceive the moment I wanted to be a mother. 

In fact, I didn't expect that path of waiting for a promise child to be so tough. There were so many setbacks along the way. Well, I did conceive in early 2004 but that pregnancy was shrouded with so much fear and confusion. Eventually it ended up in a miscarriage. Already it wasn't easy for me to finally conceive a baby, yet it had to end this way. Can you imagine how heartbroken I was back then? It took me a long time to recover from that heartache. But more importantly my faith in God was very much shaken. I knew that God had to settle all these confusing questions in my heart and to restore my soul before I was ready to conceive again. Well, if I could conceive again.

God took us on a journey of building our faith. He turned this bad thing around for our good. Instead of running away from God, we became more determined to find out His purpose and will for us from the bible. We became more hungry for bible truths and a knowledge of how God is really like. Did God give and then take away like how Job said?  God put people in our midst to point us to the faith teachings of Rev. Kenneth E. Hagin, the great man of faith. And as time passed, we not only grew in wisdom and revelation of His word, God also restored my soul and healed my wounds. 

As the word started to take root in my life, I became more convinced that it was God's will for us to be fruitful and multiply. It was His plan to give us children, to make me conceive and give birth. It was never His will to take away the baby. When God gave, He would never take away for Jesus had already paid the price for us to have this baby. It was the devil who took away this baby and then laid all the blame on God. After restoring my soul, God then took me on a journey of preparing me for motherhood. I read up on verses regarding bringing up children in the way of the Lord. I was also prompted to step down from CG leadership at that time to make way for a season of motherhood.

Before I conceived, we were already confessing and calling forth this baby as though he existed. We crossed over from one day in the future we shall have this baby to now we claim this baby in Jesus' name. Even though we didn't immediately see the manifestation of this baby, God told us to persevere for surely this baby would come. He also told us to rejoice and celebrate, eat choice food and drink sweet drinks, giving thanks for this baby in advance. It was just a matter of time before this pregnancy manifested. 

Ever since we were told to prepare for the arrival of this baby, things seemed to intensify in the spiritual realm. God also told me to start praying for this baby even before I confirmed pregnant. As the date of this manifestation neared, God came to encourage me to look out for the signs of the fig tree. For when I see these events happening, I will know that summer is near, right at the door. God also showed me Revelations 3:8, that He has placed before me an open door that no one can shut. He was reminding me that my time had come. He also impressed upon me to set up memorial stones to remember His faithfulness so as to testify to our future generations.

Indeed God is faithful and not long after, I conceived Joshua in Nov 2005. It was a day of great joy when I discovered my pregnancy, when I finally saw the positive pregnancy kit after countless negative ones. God really restored the years the locusts had eaten and we knew the blessings would not stop there. It would continue to overflow. The Lord lifted us up and gave me double honor for my shame. He really multiplied our joy a hundredfold! We will never forget this marvellous work He has done for us for as long as we live. We have also shared this testimony with Joshua so he knows how he was the answer to a long awaited prayer. To God be the glory! May God perform the miracle again like what He did ten years ago! 


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