FEELING OVERWHELMED

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the new things God is doing in your life? These are big blessings and though you are thankful that He has brought you up to a new level, you feel inadequate and overwhelmed by the challenges of the new level. This is normal because in the previous level, you were comfortable, familiar with your surroundings, and already proficient in all you do. But when you got promoted to the next level, you suddenly realised that everything was so new and you had to pick up new skills. You seemed to be starting from ground zero all over again. It could be very scary as everything looked so alien to you.

Humans are so contradictory. One moment I was complaining about the lack of action, where is the new thing He is talking about. Then when the new things sprung up one by one, I got overwhelmed by the suddenness and the magnitude of it. I started to wonder what did I get myself into...yet there is no turning back, cannot go back to the previous level. Got to press on, press through the new levels. I kept telling myself yes I will surely cross over to the other side for I am still waiting for something significant to shift into place for me, though many things have shifted in my life.

I take heart at the thought that Jesus has gone before us and prepared the way for us. This time round, the divine shift is not just for me but for Heng and Joshua as well. But I don't have to worry so much, just take a step at a time. Soon this too will pass and we will all settle into the new level comfortably. Then I was also wondering how long more do I have to press on, for I already felt so weary again. I felt like I traveled a very long journey and I wondered if I would ever cross the finish line. Yet I felt indignant. I don't believe I won't cross the finish line. Again I didn't have the energy to think too far...I just want to rest in the Lord.

I asked the Lord to have mercy on me, not to test me beyond what I could bear. I told Him I really cannot take it anymore. I have reached crux point. The pressure is just getting too much. I asked the Lord where is the reward, the manifestation of the promise that He has been talking about? Some time ago I felt like I was soaring like wings on eagles and my strength was renewed by God. Waiting upon Him didn't feel so strenuous after all. But I didn't feel like that triumphant recently. I felt very vulnerable, overwhelmed by the changes ahead.

After I cried out to Him, pouring out my heart, I felt a release. I felt much lighter and better surprisingly. Nothing changed in the natural but I just had the quiet confidence that He has heard my cries and He is working on my issue the moment I cried out to Him. I just got to trust Him and give Him some time to reveal what He is doing. Thank God that when I woke up this morning, I was no longer downcast. Peace was restored to my heart. I watched a sermon titled 'The Pursuit of Happiness' and I decided that to rejoice despite of my circumstances, to praise God and worship. He is still worthy to be praised! God cares about my happiness.

Maybe the devil was afraid of what was coming now that the divine shift has occurred. So he tried to make me fearful of all the changes, whether we can cope with the higher level of our destiny. The fact was that I had begun my involvement in the mothers' group and that is a new beginning. He cannot stop it so he tried to discourage me, make me feel vulnerable and inadequate. Pointing all to myself. But I forgot it wasn't me, it was all God's doing so He alone will see me through. 

God assures me that my steps are guided by Him and I am right on track for receiving my promise. I haven't gone off course or distracted, in fact I will be reaching the finish line very soon, hence the increase in attacks and pressure. But surely there will come a day when I will look around and say 'I can't believe it happened, I can't believe that this thing turned around.' Oh how I look forward to that day and I believe it is coming very soon. Praise the Lord!