LETTING GO OF THE PAST

Recently I reviewed the messages I have been receiving in the month of Oct for the past 5 years. I was amazed to discover that the message had been consistent! The main message was to let go of the past and move on. God is doing a new thing in my life. I realised that I had come to the end of things, assignments that God gave me. It was like a winding down, a completion of the work. This was totally in line with the significance of Cheshvan being the month of completion.

In Oct 2010, I was told to let go of the past baggage I had accumulated in my last company because I was going to leave soon. I couldn't bring these things over to my new season of staying home. In Oct 2011, I was told to let go of the timing issue, be regarding the promise or my ministry. Ironically I sensed the Lord calling me to action in Sep yet nothing seemed to be moving in Oct. Ok, I told the Lord, I would wait until He moved. After that, in Nov, things really started moving faster and I felt I was out of the waiting mode. It was like arise and go. New things were springing up.

In Oct 2012, I was impressed upon the need to let go of old friendships of my old season. This one was tough because I am a sentimental person who values friendships a lot. Especially my friendship with one particular sister. After that I was careful to guard my heart and not let anyone cause me those heartaches again. But God assured me that He would bring me new friends, people who would love me, pray for me and support me in my divine destiny. At that time I was starting new friendships but no, they were not the divine appointments God was referring to.

Then in Oct 2013, after I communicated my decision not to extend my contract with the church office, it was a time of winding down. I was preparing the things to hand over to my colleague after she came back from maternity leave in mid Nov. Things were coming to an end regarding my assignment especially after the last CG leaders' service for the year. At the same time, new things were happening in the healing ministry. In Oct, I went for my first hospital visit. Things were so exciting then.

Oct 2014 was the month that I stopped serving in the church's connect points. Earlier the prayer and healing rooms were closed down to make way for the new connect points. When I saw it closed, my heart sunk. It was like a door of ministry closing on me. I knew it was time to exit this ministry. I was on sabbatical leave then but I continued to serve on Sundays till end Oct. I also communicated my decision to step down in that month. I closed the door of CG ministry behind me. It was a very difficult time for me to let go of this ministry which I once enjoyed so much. The end of my Sunday serving marked the closure of this chapter. I had to move on.

Finally in Oct 2015, there was another closure I had to make. Another door I had to close. This time, it was my involvement in the another ministry. Painful as the decision was, I knew it was His will. It always wasn't easy to inform the pastors that I want out of the ministry totally. But I think it is all in God's timing because it came at a time when there are new directions in this ministry, more commitments that I couldn't make. When the ministry just started, it was small and hence the commitments were minimal. I could handle that.

I wondered why I had to exit at this time, now that the ministry was going big. Yet I was told by God to let go of this ministry totally, to come out from it completely. Isn't it totally untimely? Perhaps to men yes, but not to God. Hence yesterday marked the end of my involvement with the ministry. It was a total of two years. Thank God this time round I wasn't as sentimental as I was when I exited the Sunday serving last Oct. I was in fact, happy. I still didn't know fully what is in store for me in the future. Roughly I know the new thing about ministry to mothers had started, yet the full picture hasn't been revealed yet. I don't know why God always tells me to shut the door behind me before the door ahead opens. I guess it's a step of faith. I got to trust Him.

Well, at least I take comfort that once this door closed, a new door is opening soon. God will not waste time. And in previous years, I noticed that the spiritual atmosphere started to change in Nov. Things started moving faster after completion of previous assignments and I was out of the waiting mode. Nov seems to be the month of manifestations after crossing over to a new season. New things began springing up speedily. It was a time of acceleration.